What do you consider is a realistic age for having a last baby?

[GlitteringJasper]

Purely based on your own personal opinion?

What age is the 'cut off' in your mind for someone having their final baby?

Really interested to hear views on this!

Am dithering!

My personal cut off would have been mid thirties, but I know lots of older mums, including one who had her first at 49, and I certainly wouldn't judge their choices.

I had my first when I was 20 and my second at 25. I am coming up to 34 now and I definitely do no want a newborn.

Plenty of mums up the school though having babies in their early 40's.

I think my personal cut off is 37 - the age I am now. I feel it's last chance saloon now if I want dc3. I had my dc's at 31 and 34 which, to me and for my life, is pretty much perfect.

For me personally, I wouldn't plan to have any later than 40. (Had DC1 last year when I was 33 - would love to have more, but don't want to risk going through hyperemesis again until she's a bit older.)

My original life plan involved having kids in my early 20s and being done by 25/26. Am now very very glad that didn't happen, since it would have meant reproducing with the abusive compulsive liar I was with back then, and that relationship was hard enough to get out of as it was.

No cut off for me.

I became severely disabled after having my two in my mid-twenties and my mums mum died at 45, so the two usual arguments ("but you wont be able to look after them when youre old" and "but what if you die when they are young") are irrelevant imo.

29. I was 27 when I had my last. Now I'm getting some life back now I'm 36. Just my personal feelings on my own life and circumstances. No judging on anyone else.

It's subjective. People who have children very young usually plan to complete their family before their dc are a certain age. The older your children get the harder it is to go back to square one with a newborn in nappies. So if you start at 20 and have 3 dc it wouldn't be unreasonable to feel that you want to be 'finished' at 30.

For me, it was 40. I had dc 1 at 34, dc 2 at 37 and dc3 a few weeks before my 40th.

I feel for the woman trying for a baby in her 50s, but I honestly think it's too old.

The80sweregreat -I hit puberty the same time my mum hit menopause, those were great years indeed. And now I'm pretty much on track to do the same with my dc
I'm really hoping I manage to pull it off better than she did. Although we are pretty close now, it took me moving to the other end if the country at 18 for her to realise I wasn't the devil-child after all
How's your relationship with her now?

Would you think it was too old if it was a man? Genuine question :)

I am 36 and pg with number 3 and my body is telling me every day I am too old!

At this point in life I would prefer to get all the babies out of the way by 35 absolute latest. I had my first last year age 24 so after 35 it would be an 11 year age gap.

If I have a baby after 35 that would mean I'd be spending around 30 years of my life having one or more children below school leavng age... I don't want to be dealing with teenagers when I'm in my 50s!

It's funny how on these kinds of threads people always quote roughly about a couple of years older than they were when they had their own kids

It IS the most personal of questions.
And no, nobody ever sets the same limits for men.

One of our close friends is about to become a father for the first time at the age of 50 and he is as proud as punch (we are pleased for him too). I cannot think of many women at that age who'd be buying rounds in the pub to celebrate their pregnancy….

I have just had my last at 39. 40 is my cut off ideally but fair play to those who feel they can.

Incidentally, I had most energy in my last pregnancy. No complications. If I had more money, I would love a fourth.

True, pacific.

I don't think I'd have put a limit really - I just suppose if I wanted a baby at 42, and was fertile and all other things in order - I wouldn't think "ooh I'm too old" - but more when you have children you have to think of the impact another child will have on them. I'm pregnant now: unplanned and if I'm totally honest am not thrilled but I'm sure I'll love her when she comes!

36. (I was 39 and 10 months.)

When I was younger, I would have said mid 40's but now in my 30's and heavily pregnant, I now feel, for me, no later than 40. My pregnancies and labour have been tough and sleep deprivation takes it's toll. Couldn't imagine wanting to put myself through it at 57 but each to their own.

It really annoys me when people just assume that because you're in your twenties, your not financially secure, nor have a career, or are too immature. Me and my DP (25 & 27) have great careers, went to university, have our own home. We did it all by ourselves, no state or family handouts. We just slotted life around our kids. Ds1 is 7 and Ds2 is 6 months. We have now decided not to have any more kids. As we could potentially be grandparents in our 30's/40's.

Yes treacle. DH's Dad had a baby at 55 - far too old she is 13 now and can't stand either of her parents the generation gap is just too wide, also he is 69 and not in the best of health so his dw is dealing with a teenager, being the main breadwinner and an elderly husband in her 50's -poor woman. For me any amount of fun in my 20's wouldn't compensate for that. When I am 50 ds will be 22,Dd will be 20 and dh will be 51. Hopefully we will all be earning and having a great time.

You know the best laid plans of mice and men, don't you? My mum died at 52!

I'm 30 next year and we are ttc our third and last now . But that is only because I got pregnant at 18 it's not really to do with my age and more to do with the age of dc1

my friend is 43 and has just told me she is 24 weeks. I had thought that that chapter was gone.

I'd say, as a guideline, 40, but then, some 37 year olds are smokers, have health issues etc and some 43 year olds are non-smoking tee-total vegans so it just depends. About forty though..

I didn't my DH until early 30's, we started trying as soon as we were married. Before this I'd never been in a really serious relationship. I had a good career, great social life and travelled the world...had a great time.

As it happens spending my 20's trying not to get pregnant was futile since my tubes were shot and it was never going to happen naturally (didn't find this out until I was 33 though).

Spent 10 years having fertility treatment and at 43 had my twin boys. I have sisters who had their dc in their 20's and honestly there are pros and cons whatever age you have your dc.

I have been able to achieve what I wanted to in my career, travel the world and we have paid off the mortgage very early. Can concentrate on my dc since I don't need/want to work full time, whilst my sister were struggling to juggle work and dc. On the other hand I know (from reading threads like this) that I am probably judged as selfish by people who don't have a clue about my struggle to have children at all... let alone two. No one has ever said anything though because I genuinely have one of those "don't fuck with me" faces DH tell me often

Ultimately it's about your attitude. I'm quite young in my approach to everything in life and don't feel any more tired than I did when I was younger. Confidence is key as with everything.

35 (but I had my last at 21 and won't be having anymore)Cannot imagine having kids in my 40s! Each to their own of course, there's no right or wrong answer.

Of course you're not selfish.

Congratulations on your TWINS!

I just think - you don't know. My mum and dad had me at 36. Mum died at 52 when I was 15: dad died when he was 66 and I was 29.

I guess if someone had said that would happen I might not have been born. Which would have been a shame. I mean, I'm ok now!

Good question posed upthread about what cut off age applies to a father.

In that case, if it's a couple, I think 45 is the cut-ff. Thing is, having a child at 45 is going to take a lot more out of a woman than being a father at 45 takes out of a man. what happens to him, a few sleepless nights? not in the same league!

I had it in my mind that I did not want to be changing nappies or pushing a buggy at forty! by forty I wanted children not babies.