What do you consider is a realistic age for having a last baby?

[GlitteringJasper]

Purely based on your own personal opinion?

What age is the 'cut off' in your mind for someone having their final baby?

Really interested to hear views on this!

Am dithering!

I had my babies relatively young, 22 and 26. I do regret not having another baby but once my youngest was at school I kept telling myself that it would be a huge step backwards, I'd just gone back to full time work etc. I wish I'd gone for it because now I can see that at 44 I had loads of time left. My oldest who is going to be 22 in June is off to America to work for a few months and my youngest goes to Uni in September........I'd love there to be a 'little person' at home but as my husband had the snip when our youngest was ten and would be horrified I'm even thinking this way this would be v v unlikely.
My husband talks about all the holidays we are going to have, how the mortgage will soon be paid off and that's all great but I do think I should have gone for that third baby. It's not something I think about often but when I do it makes me sad.

I think early forties would be the absolute upper limit IMHO. Over 45 is too old - I couldn't imagine having a five year old at 50 or a fifteen year old at 60. I feel sad for the lady who is 54. That is very difficult for her. I feel that the age range should be the same for men though. I have a friend whose dad was 70 when she was born and died when she was a toddler. I do think there comes a point for both sexes when they're just too old to be parents. I think having a baby is exhausting at any age but I would be thinking more of the child growing up trying to relate to the parents.

I started at 25 and finished at 30. I knew I didn't want anymore after 30 so I was happy that I had the 3 children I wanted. Everyone is different and life doesn't go as planned. I have a friend who is 42 and is planning her next so obviously she hasn't reached hers yet.

wombat you posted a few pages back about having had a childhood friend whose father was in his 80s. I had a childhood friend who at 12 had a father who was 72. We all pitied him, the boy that is. I'm not sure he wanted our pity! but that was the vibe in the playground.

Wouldn't judge anyone else's choice. Life happens and there are pros and cons at any age. Personally I felt too old having my last child at 38 though. I had my first at 24 and while there were obvious downsides, I just had so much more energy! I was out at a gig the night before he was born and back in my jeans a week later, I just sailed through it physically. I also had that young person bolshiness about how to look after a baby (I was fairly hippyish) and didn't bother with the "experts". I was a complete eejit in many ways but also quite a good mum.
I was 35 and 38 having my younger two and it was KNACKERING. There are entire years I can't recollect and I spent a great deal of time on the sofa. Most of my friends had children at this age and while it makes total sense in a country with insanely expensive childcare and housing and little support for parents, I think it's a bit sad. I have a few Norwegian friends and they tell me it's normal to start having children in their mid to late 20s - they have a lot of help. Here in Ireland and the UK it seems that having children is this great disaster you have to shore up against, and take years and years to have everything in place, rather than just part of life.

Whoo sorry, bit of a rant! Anyway, much as I love my youngest, my theoretical cutoff would be about 35

I had my second child at 33 and have wanted a third ever since (yes to convince husband) but my cut if was 36.

I am now approaching 37, my cut off is now 39.

Durham - it's interesting to hear different perspectives. I have pangs of envy in respect of people who had their kids young. You can spend your 40s having holidays and still be young enough for grandchildren.

I am not quite 40 yet and adore my kids and wish I had been in a position to have them when younger!

42

From someone who had their first at 42 and second at 44!

Also, a question for our molecular biologist, auryanne but I was wondering if the chromosonla effects of older parents can be sometimes, not so much what age parents are when baby conceived, but what age their parents were when they had the parents. Is there a cummulative element to several generations of older parents, or is it that older grandparents have healthy children but pass on the risks to their own children's children.

I have 3 friends/acquaintances each with a child with DS and they were only in their mid to late 30s so not excessively old! but their parents (the grandparents) were 40+ having children (my acquaintances). I am just wondering by the way. This is not a theory, nowhere near it. I don't want to offend anybody so apologies if I have done so.

For us it was 35. We had babies when I was 29, 31 and 33. We had to stop with the third but the issue wasn't my age. It's the luck of the draw. A 19 year old has recently died after giving birth whereas a lady in her 40's could give birth with no problems at all.

I have no cutoff in mind whatsoever. Pacific said it earlier: everyone adds two years onto their own personal experience/ preference and states that! And no thread about this issue for men. If we believed the Daily Mail, there's about a 7 month window in a woman's life when she's neither too young nor too old - I reckon everyone at any life stage has something to offer. And there are no certainties in life. Twentysomethings contract terminal cancers and die leaving young children behind; meanwhile eighty-year-olds are running the London marathon. We're all playing the odds, everyone thinks they'll be lucky, and the fact is we don't know. So go for it if you feel you can do it and look for the positives.

I don't want to be dealing with teenagers when I'm in my 50s!

I must admit that factored into my decision making. I had DD a week shy of my 29th birthday and in an ideal world would have had another when she was about 3 so they were both 18+ by the time I turned I turned 50.

Circumstances dictated otherwise though and we have not had any more.

Also agree with PP who said that the arguments about being too old/dying young are pretty irrelevant.

My mum had me at 36, and my friend had her daughter at 40 and they are both still going strong, yet several of my friends have already lost their, in some case, much younger parents.

For women having babies over 45, usually their only option is donor eggs, and therefore the chromosomal age is that of the donor. So it's perfectly possible to have bouncing healthy babies well after the usual menopause.

Roonerspism I've found you! I used to be Rooners and I think some people think we are the same person

Now I find we had our last child at the same age too...argh!

shins yes interesting the different expectations of being prepared for parenthood in different countries. I know I went in to parenthood lacking financial security but I thought 'I can sort most things out later', meaning, everything but infertility can be sorted out later.

I didn't have my first baby until I was 38.

I knew I wanted a second and my cut-off was 40. I made it with two weeks to spare!

Now I am 52 with a 14 year old and an 11 year old. I don't feel astonishingly old amongst the parents of their friends, there's quite a lot of us dealing with menopause and teen angst at the same time!

Tendon my DH is 6 years older than me and I'm pretty sure that had an impact on his feelings about having another. He would have been nearly 40 before we could have had a second, and having had very young parents himself (20 & 23 when he was born and he already had an older brother) he wasn't keen.

hmm I'm a bit old fashioned so it would be in early thirties I'll change my mind when I get there I'm also a bit unhealthy, so realistickly would need to be then. But I'd never judge an older mum, everyone's different.

I don't know, I think it will be different for each woman how she feels at each age.

I would have said probably 50 as a cut off point previously, but probably would have said well if you feel up to it why put a limit on it? I have several friends/family who have had babies in their late 40s and loved it.

But then I had my second DC at 35, and the difference between that and having a DC aged 28 was astonishing to me. I was absolutely shattered by it all, though my pregnancy was great and I was less tired that time. It didn't help that DC2 is not a sleeper at all, so an awful lot depends on the baby too. My friend was 48 when she had her DD, who sleeps like an angel and is not a noisy boisterous child - she is coping fine in her early 50s with a toddler. Whereas I am pooped!

I'm going to say 45. As in neither parent should be older than 45 when the baby is born.

I had mine at 28 and 30 (DH was 29 and 30). I'm now 39 (40 later this year) and in the last year I've totally stopped feeling broody. The DC are 9 and 10 now, and I don't think I could go back to having a baby in the house.

A lot of our friends currently have 1 or 2 under twos. Some of them are quite jealous of our older, independent children (often the same ones who thought we were mad having ours so young).

I think it depends on the individual.

I had my first at 32 and my second at 36. Divorced and in new relationship at 45, had two pregnancies at 45 and 46, both ended in mc. My body telling me that was enough.

Now I am 50, do wonder what would happen if I got pg again, probably mc. If my body could do it I don't think I am too old in myself and my energy levels. Not sure if I want to go through nappies and toddlers all over again. Did love being pg and giving birth though.

For me personally, I always said I'd like to have had all my children by 30 ish or early 30s maybe. I'm 27 and have a 1 year old but now I'm not sure when to ttc no2. I also have no idea how many children I want! The thing is you can have all these plans but things don't always follow the plan so I'm just going to wait and see how I feel!

I'm surprised some people are saying under 30 is too young to have a baby! I don't feel like I missed out on anything. Me and my dh have been together since we were 18 we have had loads of fun over the last nearly 10 years and getting married and having our dd has been just as fun as the holidays and party's we went to when we were a bit younger!

Hmm. Is had DS when I was 36. He will be my only child as far as I can see as I am still too bloody knackered to contemplate another one. (He is 3 now). If I had had him younger there would probably have been more.

But that's just me. I am sure lots of women far older have far more energy and greater reserves than I. :)

I had my first at 34, my second at 38 ( 2 x MC in between) and I felt oce DS2 had arrived that I didn't want to be having babies at 40, even though I really wanted one more. Now I'm 58 and DS2 has 2 more years at uni to fund I think that was the right decision. I think having children in you mid to late 30's keeps you young but I've enjoyed the freedom of being an empty nester and once his studies are complete I'll have 6 more years with a decent income at work and hopefully the strength and energy to have fun myself on adventures we wouldn't be able to afford if we were fuding a third.

I don't think there is a cut off. My First DC was born when I was 32 and my last when I was 42. I could happily have gone on to have more.