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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What do you consider is a realistic age for having a last baby?

478 replies

GlitteringJasper · 21/03/2015 23:47

Purely based on your own personal opinion?

What age is the 'cut off' in your mind for someone having their final baby?

Really interested to hear views on this!

Am dithering!

OP posts:
SomethingOnce · 21/03/2015 23:48

Just do it Smile

GettingFiggyWithIt · 21/03/2015 23:48

42
Answer to life and the universe Wink

GettingFiggyWithIt · 21/03/2015 23:51

Seriously I was 41 nearly 42, my name is Figgy and I am bloody knackered.
I am sure there are some more patient less knackered mums of 42+ but in my head 42 +18 'coming of age' = 60 time for a sit down Wink

Charlotte3333 · 21/03/2015 23:52

Based on nothing more scientific than the glasses of wine I've consumed tonight, I'm going to say 40 is my cut off point.

Horses for courses and I'd never criticise a woman for choosing to have a baby post-40. I had my first at 24 (hideously young, was like a child and spent his first two years having more fun with his toys than he did) so when I'm 40 he'll be 16. I can't imagine a 16 year age gap. But yeah, that's my cut-off point. DH's cut off point was the minute he realised DS2 was a bellend. So it's a moot point for us.

Original poster
GlitteringJasper · 21/03/2015 23:52

figgy Grin. Are you pregnant or recently had a baby?

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 21/03/2015 23:55

42!

(great minds think alike?)

There are success stories beyind that IYSWIM, but I think it gets a lot less certain once into mid 40s (not that it's ever really certain, though)

BlackbirdOnTheWire · 21/03/2015 23:57

Depends on the individual and on how many/how old previous DC.

I'd say 45 in general, but if a woman had her first at 43, then 46 wouldn't be unreasonable.

An ancestor of mine is in local history books for having her last child - the 19th - at 52, in the early 1800s. Poor woman must have been so grateful for the menopause finally kicking in!

cece · 21/03/2015 23:57

I had my last one at 42 and yes I would say in hindsight that it was a bit old.

Ideally late 30's, although I would not judge anyone who has one in their 40's.

FluffyMcnuffy · 21/03/2015 23:57

Also 42!

Although id think twice when 40.

snowgirl1 · 21/03/2015 23:57

I used to think 40, now I think 44/45.

AlpacaMyBags · 21/03/2015 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slightlyglitterstained · 22/03/2015 00:01

It depends - if you've decided you want a number of children and you're trying to figure out whether you should be getting started soon in order to fit them in with reasonable age gaps, you're probably going to put the cutoff date rather sooner than you would if you've had your other children, and are trying to decide whether to go for one last baby...

ChwatFeechers · 22/03/2015 00:02

I believe 45 is the limit, in my head.

ouryve · 22/03/2015 00:03

Whenever they feel done with it - or nature decides for them.

JadziaSnax · 22/03/2015 00:03

40 was my own cut off point, DD was born when I was 39 Grin.

MilkThistle187 · 22/03/2015 00:04

40, I am 45 now and despite waves of broodiness I feel it's too late now.

NeedABumChange · 22/03/2015 00:04

39 for me, I would feel it selfish if I had children any older.

mrsruffallo · 22/03/2015 00:06

REalistically, 35.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 22/03/2015 00:06

It's such a personal thing. My sister had a baby at 41 and I definitely didn't think she was too old. I am now in my late thirties and personally, I feel too old to have another.

BlackbirdOnTheWire · 22/03/2015 00:08

Many of my friends/SILs didn't have their first till 40+...

I'm 39, 2 DC, younger than most of my DD's classmates' mums. The problem for me is financial - supporting children through university whilst reliant on a pension...

mrsruffallo · 22/03/2015 00:09

I have no intention of supporting my DC theough uni- they can do a part time job and get a student loan like everyone else.

GettingFiggyWithIt · 22/03/2015 00:11

Waves to OP. My last one is two this year and I will be all the fours 44. Grin
Truthfully I am knackered as I have been bf for over four years now so sleep deprived/disturbed for 1001 nights+ (also have a four year old so only had a small gap of 4 months when not bf).
I know of many older mums who do a grandjob, though, so don't let meput you off!

BlackbirdOnTheWire · 22/03/2015 00:12

Meant to say "younger than most of my DD's classmates' mums, many of whom have a newborn or are pregnant" - I don't feel too old, but I have started getting my life back...

ineedtogetthisout · 22/03/2015 00:17

For me personally I said 30. However here I am at 35 unexpectedly pregnant. I absolutely would not have any more after 35. Physically it's been very tough and I feel like an older mother this time around.

BlackbirdOnTheWire · 22/03/2015 00:17

You reckon there'll be student loans, mrsruffalo?

Sadly most economists are predicting (and can already demonstrate) increasing financial dependence on parents. I teach at university, my own experience suggests a much higher proportion of students studying locally and living at home.

I think it's prudent to assume we'll be responsible for DC till 21 rather than 18, at least. And if that's not necessary, DH and I will have a fantastic holiday Grin.