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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL had a bit of a meltdown about my pregnancy

214 replies

FernGullysWoollyPully · 14/03/2015 11:54

We announced it to our extended family and friends. Our parents already knew. Everyone's happy. Its supposed to be lovely....

SIL has had a meltdown.

Back story: Some time in January she was telling me that she and BIL (dh's brother) had big plans for this year. New more expensive house, new more expensive car etc they can be a bit flash and show offy from time to time, they never seem to be secure in what they have and are always 'keeping up' but that's another story.

Anyway, one of the new 'plans' was for another child, which would be their 4th (their youngest isn't 1 yet) now she's having a pop about the fact that I knew that she wanted another and I planned to do this, and we could have let them know before announcing it so it didn't come as such a shock and she could have processed it better...Hmm

Fwiw we didn't do this on purpose, we wanted another and had stopped the pill to start ttc, I just assumed it would take longer.

Aibu to be completely Shock by this?? I feel like I'm justifying! I'm an adult ffs!

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 14/03/2015 11:56

She sounds like a nightmare. Having children isn't a competition.

DisappointedOne · 14/03/2015 11:56

No you're not BU. Not even a tiny bit.

paxtecum · 14/03/2015 11:57

SIL is a nutter.

RatOnnaStick · 14/03/2015 11:57

I'd be inclined to tell her to grow up, then move on and ignore her as you would a stroppy toddler.

Don't give her any more head space than that.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 14/03/2015 11:58

She's a tit.

Ignore her.

Congratulations by the way.

BubblesInMyBath · 14/03/2015 11:58

She's barmy. The only time I could understand this reaction is if she'd had fertility issues, been trying for ages etc (which clearly isn't the case)

Does she have some sort of personality disorder? Just seems so extreme

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 14/03/2015 11:58

Ridiculous, self-absorbed reaction. Unless there's a back story, she's being an idiot, YANBU.

Surfboredcat · 14/03/2015 11:59

Congratulations!
She's just annoyed you got in there first! and is a nutter

BlackeyedSusan · 14/03/2015 11:59

I was wondering if she had an understandable meltdown (eg: not able to conceive quickly, miscarriages, loss of a child etc) seems not.

itsbetterthanabox · 14/03/2015 12:00

How does it affect her if you are pregnant?

Finola1step · 14/03/2015 12:00

I opened this thread expecting to see an OP about a SIL who has been struggling to conceive, failed IVF etc. in which case I would have advised lots of empathy.

But that's not the case. Your SIL sees life as a competition. Always wanting that bit more. Ignore.

IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat · 14/03/2015 12:00

She sounds a delight! Ignore her - YANBU - it's nothing to do with her!

WindYourBobbinUp · 14/03/2015 12:00

She's being ridiculous. When I saw the thread title I thought she might've had fertility difficulties or pregnancy loss, but sounds like she's just jealous!

jelliebelly · 14/03/2015 12:01

YANBU she sounds like a spoilt brat / ignore ignore ignore would be my advice!

Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 14/03/2015 12:01

There's no back story. She has 3 dc already and no problems that I'm aware of.

OP posts:
SukieTuesday · 14/03/2015 12:02

I thought you were going to say she has fertility issues and has been TTC for several years. Just be grateful you aren't expecting a new car too Wink

WindYourBobbinUp · 14/03/2015 12:03

Some people hate it if they're not the centre of attention or if other people get attention, she sounds like one of those!

I hope you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy op

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 14/03/2015 12:05

Ignore her and pretend it hasn't happened.

Honestly that is exactly what I would do and just carry on as if the outburst never occurred.

Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 14/03/2015 12:07

I think that would just about push her over the edge Sukie Grin

Life is a competition to them. It's so pathetic to even explain it but We had our little dd 2 years ago, then we got engaged. When we announced the wedding date, she announced a pregnancy. We were talking about moving before we found out about this pregnancy, and she told me about the new year 'plan', I think it's all gotten bit too much for her now...lol

OP posts:
ilovemargaretatwood8931 · 14/03/2015 12:10

She's being absurd and childish. I thought when I read the title of your post that it might be related to your SIL having fertility issues / just miscarried. But no, just silliness.

SylvaniansAtEase · 14/03/2015 12:10

'In the interests of us not falling out in a very very serious way, I am going to ignore your utterly ridiculous outburst. I'm sure that when you calm down and realise that you've essentially just had a tantrum because another independent family haven't checked that it's ok with you to have a baby, you'll be glad that we're pretending this hasn't happened too. You should be utterly ashamed of yourself.'

BubblesInMyBath · 14/03/2015 12:11

You could have some fun and announce you now need a new car due to the baby...

JeanSeberg · 14/03/2015 12:11

I'd love winding her up in your shoes OP.

I'd constantly be leaving luxury holiday brochures lying around, referring to trips to the garage to pick a new sports car, asking her opinion on the holiday home in the Maldives you're thinking of buying...

AlternativeTentacles · 14/03/2015 12:15

How does 'having a pop at you' manifest itself and how did you respond?

I just can't imagine this - it is totally out of the box.

storytopper · 14/03/2015 12:16

Even if getting pregnant was something you could chose a date for, like a wedding, she has absolutely no right to expect to be consulted or told in advance. Conceiving a child is no-one's business except yours and your DH.

She is the centre of her own universe - crazy!

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