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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL had a bit of a meltdown about my pregnancy

214 replies

FernGullysWoollyPully · 14/03/2015 11:54

We announced it to our extended family and friends. Our parents already knew. Everyone's happy. Its supposed to be lovely....

SIL has had a meltdown.

Back story: Some time in January she was telling me that she and BIL (dh's brother) had big plans for this year. New more expensive house, new more expensive car etc they can be a bit flash and show offy from time to time, they never seem to be secure in what they have and are always 'keeping up' but that's another story.

Anyway, one of the new 'plans' was for another child, which would be their 4th (their youngest isn't 1 yet) now she's having a pop about the fact that I knew that she wanted another and I planned to do this, and we could have let them know before announcing it so it didn't come as such a shock and she could have processed it better...Hmm

Fwiw we didn't do this on purpose, we wanted another and had stopped the pill to start ttc, I just assumed it would take longer.

Aibu to be completely Shock by this?? I feel like I'm justifying! I'm an adult ffs!

OP posts:
thewomaninwhite · 14/03/2015 17:13

Congratulations! Grin

Bizarre and this is coming from someone who finds pregnancy announcements hard after losing a DD. Utterly crazy text!

Charlotte3333 · 14/03/2015 17:16

Congratulations. And yay for upsetting the lunatic in the process. As a pp said, it would be (slightly more) understandable if she'd experienced fertility issues but after 3 of your own, surely you're just happy for other people's wonderful news?

People are barmy, genuinely mad. Don't may her any attention over this; if she sees children as a race to compete over it's probably fortunate she's not yet announcing her next pregnancy.

AndHarry · 14/03/2015 17:23

Ignore, it will drive her crazy. I had almost exactly the same thing from my SIL, who had a tantrum because apparently I was having a girl to take all the attention away from her DD Confused

Flowergirlmum · 14/03/2015 17:25

My sil got engaged at our wedding and dh's family then spent the evening drinking champagne and celebrating the engagement AT OUR ACTUAL WEDDING!

When we had our first daughter (and in laws first grandchild) she was heard to say "don't worry dad, we'll make sure we have a boy" (they were adopting).

CalicoBlue · 14/03/2015 17:40

She sounds bonkers and completely self obsessed. I would ignore her.

My Sis is a bit like this. She had a mc in her first marriage, but was long divorced when I got married. When I got pg with my first DC, a few months after my wedding, she did not like it at all. She went crying to my mother who then called me, told me that sis was upset about my pg and I was to be sensitive and not mention it to her or talk about it around her. So I kept away from her during my pg. She then had another meltdown when I had DS and I did not ask her to be god mother, she would not come to the christening or see DS or talk to me for over a year. Bonkers!

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 14/03/2015 17:55

These replies are genius! (Especially the real time sex texts!)

Congratulations! And the memory of this thread is certainly enough to get you through several years of bonkers SIL behaviour!

FishWithABicycle · 14/03/2015 17:56

How about "wow. Do you mean you expected us to let you know every time we had unprotected sex? Or were we supposed to get your permission before trying at all? Because I don't remember agreeing to you being in charge of our personal lives to that level of detail."

Viviennemary · 14/03/2015 17:58

She sounds total nuts and self centred. I could understand it if she had been ttc for years but this isn't the case. Just totally ignore it and say I've no idea what your problem is.

TheSultanofPing · 14/03/2015 18:31

YANBU.
Some people just like to make everything about themselves.

velourvoyageur · 14/03/2015 19:10

Maybe she's really taken an emotional hit at the news and trying to justify it by telling herself she feels angry with you. I know if I'm upset with someone, even if they haven't done anything wrong, I try to convince myself I'm allowed to feel they have done something to me. The key is in recognising and rejecting that though.

miniavenger · 14/03/2015 19:11

Does she usually make everything about her? I thought SIL had lost a baby or been having troubles ttc given that she was upset but this, this is beyond pathetic or her.

TheAnswerIsYes · 15/03/2015 11:35

A simple reply would be best. Perhaps

"Bitch, are you on glue?".

PunkrockerGirl · 15/03/2015 11:41

Congratulations OP Flowers

Sil sounds unhinged.

Iloveonionchutney · 15/03/2015 11:48

Similar to flowergirlmum I actually helped one of our ushers plan his proposal at our wedding reception (unfortunately they split up before our wedding but I was looking forward to it). She has some serious issues.
Did you tell pil after?

MarshaBrady · 15/03/2015 11:53

I think you could have a least let us know before planning another baby - haha at this line. Bonkers as conkers

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 15/03/2015 11:55

Even if she had fertility issues she's being a tit, tell her to do one with her self indulgence

Lweji · 15/03/2015 12:01

"you're so funny, SIL, you should go to Edinburgh Festival Fringe."

"I'm also planning on winning the lottery this year, make sure you don't"

bigfam · 15/03/2015 12:05

I'm going to hazard a guess that not one person has said you're being unreasonable, and if they have its probably ur sil!!! Lol
Congrats

Ludways · 15/03/2015 12:08

Apparently I had a boy and a girl simply to lord it over SIL because she had two girls and her dh wanted a boy. What the actual fuck!?

MyCrazyLife · 15/03/2015 12:28

Will probably get flamed here but I'm prepared to so I can take this opportunity to sort myself out!

I'm pretty similar to some of these horrific SILs on here. I do usually try to keep it in and act happy for people, but for some reason I'm insanely jealous when people announce their pregnancies - and I conceived my 3 quickly! I feel awful after reading this thread, but why the fuck am I so insecure about this?! Uh oh... I've even derailed this thread to be about me Grin

Lweji · 15/03/2015 12:38

We can't control how we feel, but we can control how we act.

LoveVintage · 15/03/2015 12:45

Ignore. You would be pissing against the wind trying to make her see sense. If you say anything it will inflame things and you will be made out to be the bad one.

Or - text back and tell her to fuck right off to the far side of fuck.

Congratulations.

MyCrazyLife · 15/03/2015 12:49

Thanks, Lweji. I was relieved that both my SILs had boys last month in case they had "better" girls than me, wtf?! Will definitely take your advice onboard...

MyCrazyLife · 15/03/2015 12:52

Tbf my mother was far worse which is obviously where I've got it from! E.g. she adored our pet cat until we got a dog, then the cat just pissed her off and she adored the dog instead. So I always have a slight fear of people out doing me, and me being forgotten.

ClumsyNinja · 15/03/2015 13:23

Text her back 'would you like a creme egg with that?'