Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL had a bit of a meltdown about my pregnancy

214 replies

FernGullysWoollyPully · 14/03/2015 11:54

We announced it to our extended family and friends. Our parents already knew. Everyone's happy. Its supposed to be lovely....

SIL has had a meltdown.

Back story: Some time in January she was telling me that she and BIL (dh's brother) had big plans for this year. New more expensive house, new more expensive car etc they can be a bit flash and show offy from time to time, they never seem to be secure in what they have and are always 'keeping up' but that's another story.

Anyway, one of the new 'plans' was for another child, which would be their 4th (their youngest isn't 1 yet) now she's having a pop about the fact that I knew that she wanted another and I planned to do this, and we could have let them know before announcing it so it didn't come as such a shock and she could have processed it better...Hmm

Fwiw we didn't do this on purpose, we wanted another and had stopped the pill to start ttc, I just assumed it would take longer.

Aibu to be completely Shock by this?? I feel like I'm justifying! I'm an adult ffs!

OP posts:
Apatite1 · 14/03/2015 13:39

Following which, I'd ignore her completely for the rest of my life. Then again, I don't give a fuck about family harmony, I only interact with the ones I like!

Stinkylinky · 14/03/2015 13:43

YANBU, SIL sounds like a loon!

I don't get people who live their life like it's a competion, too much like hard work for me! As long as I'm happy, that's all that I need.

Congratulations on your pregnancy Smile

ClockwiseCat · 14/03/2015 13:45

She is barmy! Another one who never says 'direct her to this thread' but it might give her a reality check.

Sparklingbrook · 14/03/2015 13:46

This is hilarious. I would be telling BIL all about it. A phone call to him checking his DW is ok?
Then ask to borrow all their newborn stuff.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 14/03/2015 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Groovee · 14/03/2015 13:53

A SIL like that was why I went no contact for 5 years. I keep contact to a minimum these days and we meet up about 4 times a year. It works for us but she thought that she had the right to everything while we were to be dragging along behind.

SIL will never be happy in her life until she sorts herself out.

Thesuperswimmingdolphin · 14/03/2015 13:54

We announced our third pregnancy when we saw our family for bil's wedding. Did anybody melt down or complain about 'thunder stealing'? No of course they didn't because they are all normal, balanced, secure people who can be pleased about one thing whilst also being pleased about another. SIL's reaction is out of order and I know why people are saying ignore but actually I would be inclined to blow up at her. You'd be doing her a favour really. What next?

SaucyJack · 14/03/2015 13:56

Have you got any idea what she was going to call her DC4 so you can use that for your new baby.

May as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb I say Wink

Sparklingbrook · 14/03/2015 13:56

I wonder if SIL will be even more miffed depending on the sex of your baby. Sad

Nomama · 14/03/2015 14:04

Saucy... OP only has to say she is considering the name..

"We just adoooooooooooooooore the name SillySIL'sChoice, it is so cute and goes so well with our cat/dog/parrot's name Smile"

That'd ruin it all ways Grin

MrsKoala · 14/03/2015 14:04

'sil i think there is something wrong with your phone - when you sent your 'congratulations' message, some self absorbed crazy shit came thru instead'

or

'sil, i think a twat has stolen your phone and is texting crazy messages that make you look like a cunt'

CupidStuntSurvivor · 14/03/2015 14:05

"SIL, let's pretend you're not under the impression that DH and I have to clear our family plans with you. Any further messages like that and we're going to have a serious falling out. If you've got something on your mind that we're not aware of, I'm here to talk it through, but I'm not a punching bag and I won't allow you to treat me like one."

Side note...yes, on the face of it, it looks like she's just being a twat. But I'd always assume behaviour like this has been triggered by something. She may well have had a recent miscarriage. Put your foot down but do try talking to her as well.

Boreoff456 · 14/03/2015 14:48

I would just reply 'lol, you will feel very silly about that text when you sober up!'

Strokethefurrywall · 14/03/2015 15:56

I never understand those that say to ignores this kind of behavior for the sake of family harmony - fuck that!!

I would take a selection of the best responses here and text an amalgamation of them all back to her. Who the fuck does she think she is?
Please let us know how you respond... I love when knobbers like this get a tongue lashing by return. The only thing that will stop this type of self absorbed behavior is calling her on it.

Waitingonasunnyday · 14/03/2015 16:02

I'd set my phone to make a loud DING while visiting PIL so you can read it live 'oh just got a text from SIL, oh isn't that nice she's congratulating us.. Oh hang on... Oh has someone stolen her phone... Oh
My goodness...' Etc Wink

BrieAndChilli · 14/03/2015 16:18

My sister announced she was pregnant with her first. That week I found out I was pregnant with dc3. I did delayed telling my side of the family for a while so I didn't take the shine off her but when I did she was happy and our 2 have 6 weeks between them and are the best of friends.

flora717 · 14/03/2015 16:33

I've had a family member (unknowingly) announce their pregnancy the days after I miscarried. I sent a text of congratulations and just avoided a minor family get together so she could get all the lovely comments without anyone feeling curtailed. Really. WhatEver her reason. It's not good enough to be so entitled!

QTPie · 14/03/2015 16:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

CunningCat · 14/03/2015 16:45

How sad that she can't be happy for you. Is she a narc by any chance?

MisterDobalina · 14/03/2015 16:47

Has anyone suggested replying with "who is this?" yet?

MaryWestmacott · 14/03/2015 16:51

I think I'd be tempted to text back something like:

"I'm very surprised and saddened that getting a new neice or nephew is something you need to 'get over'."

Don't join in with the mentality that it's a competition or that you've stolen thunder. Be baffled that she's upset, don't be tempted to talk about why you didn't tell her - which suggests you sort of see that you being pregnant can be seen as a problem for her/the family.

If there's any reference to SIL & BIL planning a baby in 2015, look excited and say "yes, I really hope they do, wouldn't it be lovely to have cousins so close in age? It'll be lovely when they grow up." Don't entertain any suggestion this is anythig other than a lovely thing for everyone.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 14/03/2015 16:51

There's no monopoly on news/plans is there? Yanbu. I would ignore her though, don't add to the drama.

ouryve · 14/03/2015 16:54

The only reply I could even be arsed to send to that is " are you for real?" OK, so there might be others, but they tend to include walnuts and tight orifices and would be somewhat inflammatory.

mrsgoon · 14/03/2015 17:08

I'm freshly out of hospital after an op and I've nearly split my stitches laughing at PP's responses to OP's loon of a SIL. Grin

BrowersBlues · 14/03/2015 17:12

I have just read your original post and can honestly say that I have finally heard it all. Just unbelieveable!! Congratualtions, that's great news.

Swipe left for the next trending thread