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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL had a bit of a meltdown about my pregnancy

214 replies

FernGullysWoollyPully · 14/03/2015 11:54

We announced it to our extended family and friends. Our parents already knew. Everyone's happy. Its supposed to be lovely....

SIL has had a meltdown.

Back story: Some time in January she was telling me that she and BIL (dh's brother) had big plans for this year. New more expensive house, new more expensive car etc they can be a bit flash and show offy from time to time, they never seem to be secure in what they have and are always 'keeping up' but that's another story.

Anyway, one of the new 'plans' was for another child, which would be their 4th (their youngest isn't 1 yet) now she's having a pop about the fact that I knew that she wanted another and I planned to do this, and we could have let them know before announcing it so it didn't come as such a shock and she could have processed it better...Hmm

Fwiw we didn't do this on purpose, we wanted another and had stopped the pill to start ttc, I just assumed it would take longer.

Aibu to be completely Shock by this?? I feel like I'm justifying! I'm an adult ffs!

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 15/03/2015 14:49

That is brilliant OP. My sister is older than me so thinks she should be first and the best with everything. Well I got better grades at school, got a better degree, got what she thought was a better job (I think she has a better career than me), got married before her, had DC before her AND DH earns more than her and her DH combined. Btw these are all things she pointed out to me!

All of this has made her into a nasty person who is just negative around me. I was fine with her calling her 2nd the same name as my son (you could imagine the response of I put that on AIBU!) but I drew the line and cut her off when she said my kids were clearly not as bright as her kids because I married someone who hadn't been to university.

For some people they can't be happy for others. My sister is def one of those and I just walked away. It saddens me greatly but my goodness, no one needs the constant put downs. I hope your BIL is able to talk some sense into her.

Congrats on the pregnancy. May you have no morning sickness, an easy birth, a healthy child and no more stupid talk from your SIL!

Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 15/03/2015 14:50

russellhowards I let her squirm while bil apologised profusely.
He told her to get in the fucking car. And bundled the kids out. I told him I had no idea what was going on with them but I was there for them think he was genuinely mortified.
Dh looked a bit like this Shock the whole time I was talking.

OP posts:
Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 15/03/2015 14:50

And thank you everyone for the congratulations Flowers

OP posts:
Lweji · 15/03/2015 14:52

Hats off to you. Grin

Want2bSupermum · 15/03/2015 14:54

Fern - you are a star! You handled this like a pro and this should nip any future negativity in the bud. I really hope she doesn't do the comparison thing. It drove me around the bend.

CrystalCove · 15/03/2015 14:55

Well done, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. These type of people can think they can say and do what they like, and reading a lot of threads here they can because others enable their ridiculous behaviour for various reasons.

Cocolepew · 15/03/2015 14:56
Grin
Dontunderstand01 · 15/03/2015 15:02

Fern, kudos! I think tackling her head on was completely the right thing to do. In fact,I am going to do just that with someone I know. It is so easy to let people get away with shitty behaviour for fear of 'rocking the boat'.

SaucyJack · 15/03/2015 15:02

Ahahahaha!!!

I might nominate you for GQ's woman of the year award meself.

Bunbaker · 15/03/2015 15:05

I'll second that.

SylvaniansAtEase · 15/03/2015 15:10

Don't feel guilty. I reckon you've probably saved yourselves YEARS of this kind of shit, endless niggles, annoyances and twattiness that would eventually affect relationships in the family.

She won't pull this shit again with you. And after that, she might actually think twice before acting like a brat to PIL too. And she'll be a LOT more careful to keep herself in check at family gatherings, which will end up being good for the kids too.

She has no comeback except to apologise - and BIL deserves a bloody big apology for that attempt to undermine him with his parents and his brother's family.

She's in the shit big time and it will hopefully teach her a big lesson.

Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 15/03/2015 15:12

SaucyJack you just made my day Grin

OP posts:
AllThatGlistens · 15/03/2015 15:18

Fern you absolute beauty!

What a blinder Grin bravo!

Phoenixashes · 15/03/2015 15:28

fern

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

She sounds like a spoilt brat and this has suitably put her in her place.....I bet she was mortified she probably didn't expect to be outed

Grin
MrsKoala · 15/03/2015 16:00

But what did she expect? Really? i mean would anyone really expect someone not to push back on that kind of childish shit? She's lucky you handled it the way you did - you could have done a lot worse.

MrsKoala · 15/03/2015 16:01

Please update on the flowers/letter of apology she is forced to send you get.

Pooseyfrumpture · 15/03/2015 16:13

Brilliant. That was better than any of the suggestions on here Grin

miniavenger · 15/03/2015 16:13

You did well to tackle this head on OP, she would only have got worse from now if you'd tried to ignore it.

Spadequeen · 15/03/2015 16:15

Well done for calling her out on it. These people get away with this shit because people don't like confrontation or don't like to make a scene, well she created this scene and why shouldn't everyone know what she said.

I get that we do some things for family harmony but fuck that in this situation.

Iloveonionchutney · 15/03/2015 16:31

I'd have loved to have been a fly on that wall! What did pil say?
Well done on calling her out on it.

Damnautocorrect · 15/03/2015 16:46

Hahahaha
Fucking brilliant.
Handled superbly

londonrach · 15/03/2015 16:49

Fern you a legend! Can you sort my sil out please!

AlternativeTentacles · 15/03/2015 16:49

You are a dude OP. Fab.

LindyHemming · 15/03/2015 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thewomaninwhite · 15/03/2015 20:08

Class!