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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL had a bit of a meltdown about my pregnancy

214 replies

FernGullysWoollyPully · 14/03/2015 11:54

We announced it to our extended family and friends. Our parents already knew. Everyone's happy. Its supposed to be lovely....

SIL has had a meltdown.

Back story: Some time in January she was telling me that she and BIL (dh's brother) had big plans for this year. New more expensive house, new more expensive car etc they can be a bit flash and show offy from time to time, they never seem to be secure in what they have and are always 'keeping up' but that's another story.

Anyway, one of the new 'plans' was for another child, which would be their 4th (their youngest isn't 1 yet) now she's having a pop about the fact that I knew that she wanted another and I planned to do this, and we could have let them know before announcing it so it didn't come as such a shock and she could have processed it better...Hmm

Fwiw we didn't do this on purpose, we wanted another and had stopped the pill to start ttc, I just assumed it would take longer.

Aibu to be completely Shock by this?? I feel like I'm justifying! I'm an adult ffs!

OP posts:
Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 15/03/2015 13:44

We saw her today. It was awkward. Especially for pil. She even huffed about the fact that we were there (as in at my in laws house first) and we bought flowers for MIL when she only did cards.

I waited until all the adults were in one room then asked her if she was having a laugh with the text. Utterly disgraced her in front of everyone. Feel a bit guilty now. Never seen my bil look so angry, he told her to "get in the fucking car and we'll discuss this later" she looked like this Blush

OP posts:
M00nUnit · 15/03/2015 13:46

I wouldn't be able to ignore that text if I were you. She may now be thinking she's "put you in your place" and that you haven't replied you're now feeling guilty about for the perceived wrong you've committed. I would use one of the suggested replies above, and definitely point out how shocked you are that she sees getting a new niece or nephew as something she has to "get over".

"...and congratulations and all that" - what a self-absorbed witch!Angry

M00nUnit · 15/03/2015 13:48

Nice work OP, glad you pulled her up on it! And congrats on your pregnancy.

MrsKoala · 15/03/2015 13:55

oh well done op.

What did you say to bring it up? and was she defensive or embarrassed?

Bunbaker · 15/03/2015 13:56

Brilliant!

How does she get on with your PIL?

Psycobabble · 15/03/2015 13:58

So your supposed to plan your cd around when she has hers lol

She sounds a nightmare !

Psycobabble · 15/03/2015 13:58

Dc

cingolimama · 15/03/2015 13:58

We want details! Please OP.

Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 15/03/2015 14:02

I just waited for a gap in the conversation when everyone was quiet...
Me: so sil, you know that text you sent? Was it just for shits and giggles or were you being serious with your lunacy?
Bil: what text?
Me: ohhh didn't you know? Sil thought she'd text her congratulations on the baby. Didn't you sil? Only I was a bit confused about how to take it, I'll read it shall I?

So I read it out.

She looked like this Blush and funnily enough was very quiet. Bil was very apologetic. Turns out he didn't know after all.

OP posts:
Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 15/03/2015 14:03

Pil usually get on ok with her. She can be a bit rude to them at times but they mostly take it on the chin.

I feel a bit pleased with myself Grin

OP posts:
Hissy · 15/03/2015 14:03

Oh you beauty! You played an absolute blinder!

Well done!

Congratulations!

karinmaria · 15/03/2015 14:06

Well done OP! She needed to be pulled up on this.

natwebb79 · 15/03/2015 14:07

Yeeeesss! Grin

M00nUnit · 15/03/2015 14:12

Hope she apologised too?

Bunbaker · 15/03/2015 14:14

I wish I'd been a fly on the wall!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/03/2015 14:15
Grin
RussellHowardsWonkyEye · 15/03/2015 14:16

That's spectacular, well done on outing her in front of the family! Need to know what you said though. And any repercussions.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 15/03/2015 14:27

Well played OP, well played!

What did the rest of the family say?

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 15/03/2015 14:29

Best response ever!!

CupidStuntSurvivor · 15/03/2015 14:29

(She will hate you forever know...But will certainly behave herself I'm future!)

CupidStuntSurvivor · 15/03/2015 14:31

*now Blush

Sazzle41 · 15/03/2015 14:33

So she sees life as a competition and needs attention/the spotlight. But having 3 children already surely a 4th wouldnt be greeted liked the second coming anyway by people? Or have i missed something? Strange to seemingly have it all already but still be so insecure and needy . Is something else going on underneath this?

Edenviolet · 15/03/2015 14:33

Your sil sounds mental. I too was expecting to open this thread and see that she had fertility problems or had suffered a loss but clearly not.

I'm in a different but similar position although am on the other end of it to you op.
My dsis has been a thorn in my side regarding me ttc (she snooped round my house, found appt letters re IVF and told our whole family and family friends, we had been keeping it a secret) and now she has decided to tell everyone that she will be trying for dc ASAP and making grand plans and has asked DM for the cot she had promised to me (it was ours when we were dc and DM kept it). I was upset as we are really struggling whilst dsis is making plans, talking about when she's pg she will have a big baby shower etc. I was gutted about the cot but dh said to DM to give it to dsis and it didn't matter, of course dsis was ultra smug about it.
Dh has told me if the ivf is a success he will make a cot himself and that it will be beautiful and to let dsis think she's 'won'

KatieKaye · 15/03/2015 14:42

Well played indeed.

Whatever may or may not have been going on in her private life there is never any justification for that text.

Whenever friends told me they were pregnant, I smiled and told them how happy I was for them. Totally truthfully. And then went home and wept because I could not have a baby. And nobody ever knew how I felt. I never told anyone the true situation until my ex walked out.

And I was happy for my pregnant friends, but sad for myself at the same time. The hurt I felt was terrible, but it was nothing to do with my friends being pregnant, it was because I wasn't pregnant. If that makes sense.

Anyway, well done on confronting her openly about her dreadful behaviour. SIL was really bitchy and controlling and deserved to be called out over her actions. Now it I all the open I hope she will learn something and start to behave like an adult. At the very least she will think twice before trying to mess with you because she knows you won't put up with it.

ConfusedInBath · 15/03/2015 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.