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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL had a bit of a meltdown about my pregnancy

214 replies

FernGullysWoollyPully · 14/03/2015 11:54

We announced it to our extended family and friends. Our parents already knew. Everyone's happy. Its supposed to be lovely....

SIL has had a meltdown.

Back story: Some time in January she was telling me that she and BIL (dh's brother) had big plans for this year. New more expensive house, new more expensive car etc they can be a bit flash and show offy from time to time, they never seem to be secure in what they have and are always 'keeping up' but that's another story.

Anyway, one of the new 'plans' was for another child, which would be their 4th (their youngest isn't 1 yet) now she's having a pop about the fact that I knew that she wanted another and I planned to do this, and we could have let them know before announcing it so it didn't come as such a shock and she could have processed it better...Hmm

Fwiw we didn't do this on purpose, we wanted another and had stopped the pill to start ttc, I just assumed it would take longer.

Aibu to be completely Shock by this?? I feel like I'm justifying! I'm an adult ffs!

OP posts:
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 15/03/2015 21:23

How could she have a baby this year, I'm not a math magician or a fertility expert, but generally there isn't enough time for her to conceive plus have a baby by December.

LemonYellowSun · 15/03/2015 21:46

What on earth is there for her to get over????! This is ridiculous

AliceLidlLovesWindlePoons · 15/03/2015 21:52

Well done OP.

But people like this have a way of wriggling out of things.

Prepare for a big turn around that makes this all your fault.

Lweji · 15/03/2015 22:38

there isn't enough time for her to conceive plus have a baby by December.

There is. Just.

mrsgoon · 15/03/2015 23:18

OMG you are amazing! Utterly fearless.

OP will you hire yourself out to sort out other people's lunatic family members? my SIL and MIL

AliceLidlLovesWindlePoons · 15/03/2015 23:26

She might have just managed another baby by the end of the year, but perhaps she was just planning that this year would be the Year Of The Pregnancy (filled with many baby shower type events) and next year would be Year of the Birth.

She doesn't sound the type to squash all her glory into just the one year.

OP is the fucking car he told her to get into the new car, or are they yet to upgrade? Perhaps to the cunting car?

You realise that she has to have twins now, just to upstage you and save face?

Strokethefurrywall · 16/03/2015 00:04

I very rarely get involved in bum lickery on mumsnet but I think I am in love with you OP - please keep us posted on the next round of events as I'm sure there will be!
I love it when a bitch gets their comeuppance!!

PivotPIVOT · 16/03/2015 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrianButterfield · 16/03/2015 21:58

My SIL and I have DSes of roughly the same age - so it's not surprising that we started thinking of DC2 around the same time. In fact, when she announced her pregnancy, I was also pregnant - though by a matter of days.

When we announced I was pregnant, BIL COUNTED OUT LOUD the number of weeks between announcements, so he could make the point he assumed we'd intentionally conceived after finding out they were expecting. Luckily everyone else hates him, and couldn't care less whether we'd done it on purpose or not. But what a nob.

liquidstateisonthemulled · 16/03/2015 22:15

OP - legend. Grin Although I feel personally you sorted this too early. I havent finished my mug of tea or bar of chocolate yet! Do keep us updated, as your SIL sounds like a right loony.

Waiting I am shocked your DSis is still playing up. Your DHs handmade cot will be super fabulous I am sure Smile

SuperFlyHigh · 17/03/2015 09:54

Brian do people actually do this?! (obviously they do) - your BIL what a complete and utter arse... no wonder everyone else hates him!

Sandbrook · 17/03/2015 10:21

FERN YOU HAVE JUST WON THE INTERNET

I cannot read anymore aibus now. The disappointment will be too much to bear

Rosie29 · 17/03/2015 10:30

Oohhhh....please update when she sends an apologetic text, or, if she has the balls, brings round a bunch of flowers to say sorry.!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 17/03/2015 10:55

Brian, did no one actually point out that you already conceived before the announcement?

What a dickhead.

TurquoiseDress · 17/03/2015 11:00

I thought there'd be a back story about SIL having fertility issues, or previous pregnancy losses.

She sounds like a competitive nutter.

Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 17/03/2015 11:02

Hi all! Thank you for the lovely comments!

I still havent heard anything. If I don't by tomorrow, I'm going to text her. Make her squirm a little bit more Grin

OP posts:
rembrandtsrockchick · 17/03/2015 11:26

Why would you want to make her squirm "a little bit more". You have made your point, the woman is embarrassed, her husband is angry with her and she probably feels like a fool.

Leave it alone now or you will lose the moral high ground. You can afford to be forgiving.

FishWithABicycle · 17/03/2015 11:30

Really? I wouldn't. There's no need to turn this into a feud. She's been put straight by her DH. You should maintain a dignified silence now, and focus on your forthcoming happy event, not take delight in rolling about in the muck of this unfortunate brain-error on sil's part. Maybe you won't get the apology you deserve but if she doesn't reiterate her self-centred demands then just be civil when you see her and forget about her past idiocy. Her children and yours are cousins, it behoves you to keep the family harmonious when possible, not keep a drama going for fun.

Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 17/03/2015 11:30

Ha! Quite obviously damned if I do and damned if I don't eh rembrandtsrockchick?!

OP posts:
Libitina · 17/03/2015 11:31

Leave it alone now or you will lose the moral high ground. You can afford to be forgiving.

I agree with the above, let it go. Be the better person. You've won this battle.

Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 17/03/2015 11:31

Now I have to keep it harmonious Fish?

OP posts:
muminhants · 17/03/2015 11:34

Yes - you've had your revenge - sounds like it was served very very cool!

Now move on :)

Original poster
FernGullysWoollyPully · 17/03/2015 11:39

Ok, I admit I can see your point but an apology would at least make me feel as if she had acknowledged that she's in the wrong with this. Otherwise it's kind of like her behaviour has been allowed? Even though I shamed her, it will be forgotten about?

OP posts:
redshoeblueshoe · 17/03/2015 11:49

Fern I think your due an apology but I doubt you'll get it. Have these instead Wine Flowers

DecaffTastesWeird · 17/03/2015 11:51

*Yes - you've had your revenge - sounds like it was served very very cool!

Now move on Smile*

^^ this

I don't think you need to seek an apology OP. She might offer one, but think you should definitely move on for now or you will definitely lose the moral high ground. Let it be forgotten about. You've had your win. Now leave it.