Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To consider gender selection in Cyprus

213 replies

Dreamalittledream7 · 02/02/2015 12:03

I am currently pregnant with #4, 22 weeks and it's a little boy. This will be our third boy, we do have a daughter but we where hoping baby would be a girl and our family would be complete.
I hate the thought that my girl experience was ruined by PND and that I barely remember it, I want another little girl to love and bring up, I also hate the thought of my daughter never having a sister to play with.

Would it be mad to go and do this to get a girl? My husband is a bit shocked by my suggestion but he's being supportive.

OP posts:
IHeartChristmasMoomies · 02/02/2015 12:20

YABU.

DropYourSword · 02/02/2015 12:22

I don't want to sound mean here, but I think that's a horrible thing to do. You should want to have a baby because you want a child, regardless of whether it's male or female.

FightOrFlight · 02/02/2015 12:23

YABU as you already have a daughter so your family is complete in terms of both genders

Greencurtain · 02/02/2015 12:24

I am a girl, I have 3 brothers. Perfectly happy with that, am not deprived by not having a sister! Also having a boy baby is exactly the same as having a girl baby for the first 1-2 years. (I have both). You haven't missed out on the girl experience. The experience is ongoing and honestly I would embrace what you have now, it sounds wonderful. Try to take a step back and think a bit more logically.

BolshierAyraStark · 02/02/2015 12:26

What dropyoursword said.

YABVU Hmm

Original poster
Dreamalittledream7 · 02/02/2015 12:27

Thanks, I'm guessing I am being unreasonable. I think part of this is being told at 16 weeks that it was a girl then at 20 finding out it's actually a boy.

Of course we will love him just as much as we love all of them, we just suddenly seem to have lost our plan of only 4 and starting to think 5 is do able.

OP posts:
Pantone363 · 02/02/2015 12:27

You do realise all you A&E actually getting is a set of genitals?

She might be a raging tomboy

Original poster
Dreamalittledream7 · 02/02/2015 12:28

We've always not minded what we are having we tried for them because we wanted another child, girl or boy. It's the first time I've ever wanted to choose the gender - I feel really guilty.

OP posts:
Meechimoo · 02/02/2015 12:28

I'm watching someone go through ivf so they can have their first and last baby and they care not a jot where baby has a penis or a vagina, so YABVU.

ilovechristmas1 · 02/02/2015 12:28

you sound very selfish and self absorbed

of course YABU

BaronessBomburst · 02/02/2015 12:29

You want to replace the daughter you have with one who'll be a better experience? Shock
Because that's basically what you've just said.

kewtogetin · 02/02/2015 12:29

So basically the baby that you're currently carrying isn't 'enough' (simply by virtue of being a boy) to complete your family? Nice.
YABU, VVU.

LadyLuck10 · 02/02/2015 12:29

Yabu and what an awful thought. It's almost cruel to even think of wishing this for your child. You have no idea how lucky you are to be having no4, there are people desperate for a baby, any baby!

Onceuponatimetherewas · 02/02/2015 12:30

That's an awful lot of children! Girls can play with boys - doesn't your daughter play with her brothers at the moment? If you have a 5th, there'll be quite an age difference anyway?

Original poster
Dreamalittledream7 · 02/02/2015 12:30

No, it's come across all horrible.

I love all 4 of them, I would just love one more girl.

OP posts:
Theas18 · 02/02/2015 12:31

Maybe you need to look into counselling around the fact that your daughters tiny baby hood was "spoiled" by your depression.

Having another girl and a fantastic time after wont " fix" it, if anything surely It'll make your existing daughter feel very much 2nd best and what ever you do to cover it she'll get the message.

MrsBungle · 02/02/2015 12:31

I can't help but feel sorry for the baby boy you are carrying since you are so disappointed he's not a girl. Maybe you should wait until he's here and reassess if you want another baby.

Original poster
Dreamalittledream7 · 02/02/2015 12:33

But I'm not disappointed, I can't wait to meet him! I would just like to definitely have another girl next year.

OP posts:
CarlaVeloso · 02/02/2015 12:33

How does the experience differ? Confused

I have a 1 year old DD. So far the experience feels exactly the same as raising her older brother did.

Fabulassie · 02/02/2015 12:33

If I understand what you're saying, you're asking if you should abort your current pregnancy so that you can try again for a girl. HOPING that it is a girl and HOPING that this time you won't suffer PND.

YABVVVVU.

It's OK to feel disappointment when learning a baby's sex. I think many of us have been there. But for most of us it passes and few of us could imagine a life without our exact particular children.

CarlaVeloso · 02/02/2015 12:33

Also, girls do not need sisters.

I would have gladly put mine up for adoption.

partialderivative · 02/02/2015 12:34

Am I reading this correctly?

I feel so sorry for the son you are carrying now, it sounds like he is a disappointment to you. He will be in the way while you ttc again with a girl, and she will then get all the love while 3rd son learns to accept his status in your family.

Original poster
Dreamalittledream7 · 02/02/2015 12:34

Wtf? I never said I want to abort my baby!!!!!

OP posts:
Silentelf · 02/02/2015 12:34

There's a reason we don't offer gender selection here in the UK (except in the case of genetic disease that would affect a certain sex) - it's completely unethical.

CarlaVeloso · 02/02/2015 12:35

If I understand what you're saying, you're asking if you should abort your current pregnancy so that you can try again for a girl. HOPING that it is a girl and HOPING that this time you won't suffer PND.

No she's not!