To consider gender selection in Cyprus

[Dreamalittledream7]

I am currently pregnant with #4, 22 weeks and it's a little boy. This will be our third boy, we do have a daughter but we where hoping baby would be a girl and our family would be complete.
I hate the thought that my girl experience was ruined by PND and that I barely remember it, I want another little girl to love and bring up, I also hate the thought of my daughter never having a sister to play with.

Would it be mad to go and do this to get a girl? My husband is a bit shocked by my suggestion but he's being supportive.

Gender selection is a dangerous thing, in a world where the vast majority want boys. I wouldn't do it, on principle, and I was someone who very strongly wanted girls rather than boys (sorry).

of course op is not being offensive. Gender selection exists. mn exists for all parents not just those having a hard time conceiving. The op is not responsible for anyone else's fertility issues, and the thread title is clear enough that if people feel they will be offended by it they don't have to read it.

If people are that offended/sensitive over a thread title then perhaps they have no business being on public internet forums where any title could pop up at any time.

Carla yep, always happens when you see families having a child with the intention of them being a 'gift' for another sibling. The kids end up hating each other, you can try and make things happen but you can't control the outcome.

YABU. you should just be grateful that you have ANY DC, let alone 4.
Ths post has made me very, very angry.
You don't know how lucky you are.

OP, you have a right to your feelings. To the poster who made to ridiculous comment about sister's not being close because of age disparity...my sister and I are 8 years apart, she is my closest confidant.

Mrs, I totally get that, and I am someone who is very live and let live, and happy to be so.

However, some posts are just ill-advised, in my opinion. And I see I'm really not alone on this. I've also stated several times that I don't think being offensive was OPs intention.

What I found bizarre and offensive was OP decrying termination as inhumane and something she couldn't do, whilst discussing gender selection. And I think that other posters have been confused by her starting a thread on gender selection whilst pregnant with a child of the other sex (hence much anger saying she wishes to terminate etc which she clearly did not say!)

MN is a free posting board, but I believe we can be considerate in what we post, and where we post it

Whenever i see a thread title about gender disappointment you can almost 100% guarantee that its somebody having a boy but wanting a girl. Its very rare somebody is "devestated*" because they are having a girl.

*A term often used although i realise OP didn't say that

Are little girls better than little boys or something?

I read it as abortion due to the child being a boy is inhumane. Which it is.
People really do love to cheerfully stick the knife in on here at times don't they? There are some answers here that are just plain spiteful.
The OP has stated several times that she would never abort her baby (and whoever read that in the OP needs glasses), that she loves all of her children but is considering the gender selection process for the next baby.
OP I would see how you feel after this pregnancy is done, you may decide that you don't want to go through it again or feel like you're 'done' completely. Good luck to you though and ignore the majority of the posts on here, some people use AIBU as a place to kick people for the fun of it..

In lots of MN eyes boys are inferior because they grow up to be men and obviously every woman needs a daughter to have that special relationship with as a woman eg to go shopping with, and be the No1 Gran because that's so much better than being a MIL to a woman. Pathetic.

In lots of MN eyes boys are inferior because they grow up to be men and obviously every woman needs a daughter to have that special relationship with as a woman eg to go shopping with

Which is silly really. I haven't spoke to my mother for months, not all women grow up to be best friends with their mothers.

I don't think it's wrong to select ivf for gender. Better than massive families where they have kept going to get the opposite sex to what they have. Personally I would rather let people select if it's that important to them rather than them keep on having children. 6k would be cheap compared with the cost of bringing up extra children.

But sounds like this is a rare view on here.

OP, sounds like you are in shock finding out it is going to be a boy. Wait until he's born and see how you feel after he's out of the baby stage. Good luck with it all.

Whenever i see a thread title about gender disappointment you can almost 100% guarantee that its somebody having a boy but wanting a girl. Its very rare somebody is "devestated" because they are having a girl.

*A term often used although i realise OP didn't say that

Are little girls better than little boys or something?*

I have wondered about this too. My (uninformed and baseless) thought is that women think they will find it easier to relate to and bond with another woman. Obviously not true of all women who want girls...

I understand where the OP is coming from. I conceived at a clinic and it is very unlikely I will have a second child. And while I love my DD fiercely, would fight dragons for her every step of the way, and looked forward to having a DD ever since I found out she was a girl, there was a tiny portion of me that was sad i won't ever have a boy. Which is absurd and entirely connected to the hormonal maelstrom of pregnancy.

Congratulations on the pregnancy OP & good luck either way if you do go for a 5th!

of course it's inhumane to have a termination because of gender. Although op never actually suggested she was planning to have one. But given that in certain cultures late terminations are actually carried out because of the "wrong" gender, which do people on here think are preferable really? A termination at 22 weeks where the baby could almost be viable, looks like a baby, is formed like a baby and only has to develop? ? or an IVF cycle where embrio's are discarded? Because there is a difference.

I know someone who had genetic selection in order to have a baby which did not carry his genetic condition. They had to undergo five cycles of IVF in order to end up with embrio's which could be implanted. That's a lot of embrio's to have had to destroy, but I'm sure that even in the case of disability, the destruction of embrio's would be far more preferable than late terminations until they'd ended up with a child who did not carry the condition.

What would you do if you got pnd with your hypothetical baby daughter and missed it all again I get you had your ideal family in mind and you will love your new baby son but it isn't a great idea to try and block out your pnd with a replacement girl it a bit of a sqew wiff ideal. Gender selection creeps me out personal ly we are supposed to have the gender we are given ,

I would hide this thread OP, you will be skinned.

And while I love my DD fiercely, would fight dragons for her every step of the way, and looked forward to having a DD ever since I found out she was a girl, there was a tiny portion of me that was sad i won't ever have a boy

But the OP already HAS a girl as well as her boys so it's not the same as your situation Karma. You have one girl, OP has one girl and three boys.

I agree op sounds immature from her posts. If asked I would have liked a girl for my second, but he is a boy. And he is wonderful and I wouldn't change it. I certainly wouldn't have another child even if I could guarantee a girl, because I have two beautiful boys and with our lives we would not as a couple, be able to give enough time to all put children if we had another. You sound like you will ignore this one and get on with the process of having a girl as soon as you can. Your poor poor boy. Ergh. I feel so angry for him.

IVF for gender selection is a big thing to do though, if it is the same process and probability of success.

There is another method where they do sorting, if I can possibly bring that up.