to nap my dd 3 weeks in her own room? DH thinks im mad

[Soleurmange]

hi dh thinks im potty - ill admit i am following she who must not be named for the routine, which includes putting dd 3 weeks in her own room with the door shut and lights out for day time naps. at night she is in with us.

i think its better for her sleep and means that i can do things in our room during the day - dh thinks its a SIDS risk and ive lost the plot. who is bu? thank you!

What does he want you to do? Sit with her?

I would think you a little distant yes

I think that is rediculous! I have a 16week old and won't put her in her room for naps! What will you do when she is older and go for days out. My lo will nap wherever she falls asleep weather it in her basket downstairs on her play mat on the floor on in my arms!
3wo is too young for a routine!

I can't see how it makes any difference where she naps, surely she would be on her own anyway?

Oh you are def being unreasonable your sh is the sane one!

ok... but is it it a SIDS risk would you say? that seems to be the main reason why he objects.

Don't you want to cuddle her occasionally, or do things around her?! She's 3 weeks old, give her a cuddle for gawd sake!!

you're quite right.
if your DH is so worried he can go sit with DD while she snoozes.
lets see how long he lasts........

YABVU.

Step away from those joyless over controlling pills, now!

Happy New Year!

What's wrong with letting her nap in the room you are in? Or a room you are near by? I had DS in sight for all his naps when he was a new-born and I still managed to rest / get chores done.

I don't understand why it needs to be in "her" room and with the door closed?

Errrr, all mine napped in their cots in their rooms from a few weeks old, they are now 4, 8 and 9 and don't seem to have suffered for it! lol.

They also slept fine in the buggy / pram when we were out or car?

Not sure what the issue is here?

I think a big part of this is where/how your dd sleeps best. My ds napped literally on me until he was 10 months! But at night he was in his own room very early on, as he settled much better and I knew he was more comfortable in there. He liked his cot and wouldn't settle in the Moses basket.

Your dh is obviously right re sids risk as per current advice, but also all babies/parents are different so I would look to what seems to make your daughter happiest and most relaxed. As long as your following other advice re temp and coverings etc then I think you should be allowed to interpret advice in the best way that works for your family.

That being said, if dd does prefer to nap in her room, I wouldn't shut the door. But that's just me.

It is a SIDS risk, people think the guidelines only refer to nighttime but they mean all sleep.

I personally wouldn't want a baby who will only nap in a quiet dark room, that seems very restrictive. Also, how is she going to figure out the difference between day and night if she always sleeps in the dark? I thought napping in a light(ish) room helped them realise this wasn't big sleep time.

I don't like the sound of it! I'm with your DH on this one. She's a bit small for all this surely??

My 2 week old is currently napping in her basket in the living room, where we are all sitting and I'm managing to potter around doing jobs like putting the washing on. I would never want to shut away such a young baby where I can't keep an eye on her, or pick her up for a snuggle when she stirs. So I think YABU.

Own room and door closed seems too risky for me to be honest. How would you know if she has breathing difficulties? I know that sounds paranoid but at that age I know I wanted DS whee I could see him most of the time.

thanks all for responses - hoggle hoggle, that's really helpful. she does see more relaxed for sleeping in her own room, i think - ive not noticed the same kind of overtiredness i saw with DS 1 becuase i was basically waking him up all day. I am following all advice re temperature and coverings, so that makes me feel more confident. maybe the door shut is a bit much! fwiw, i do appreciate what posters are saying about routine and madness - but i had a very tough time last time with DS 1, involving horrendous sleep associations and hours of feeding and this is really working for us. think it depends what kind of baby you get : )

Cant think of many things I'd be less likely to do than follow CLB and I wouldn't leave such a little baby shut in a dark room to sleep - they are only portable for a short time so in my mind its best to make the most of it!

I'm with your DH.

My main worry was posseting while lying flat after feeds, how would you hear a child choking on their vomit

This would have worried me as I was terrified by SIDS! By 3 weeks my DD was a Velcro baby anyway....I do second the opinion that it's good if babies can get used to napping in noisy environments. I know at our nursery they sometimes have problems with babies that are not used to noise when they start at 6/9 months.
BUT despite all that you've got to do what feels right for you and your baby.

Yabvu. It's a sids risk. The baby needs to stay in your room until at least six months old.

The carbon dioxide you exhale stimulates the babies breathing and helps prevent cot death.

Newlywed...mine were in a routine of sorts by 3 weeks. So it's not 'too young' for everyone.

Mine was different though. Daytime is for being downstairs, nighttime is for bed was my motto.

From a couple of weeks, mine would be downstairs from 7 (ish...dependent on waking time) to 8pm. 8pm was bedtime and we'd go upstairs, and didn't come down until morning. Whether they were awake or asleep. As they got older I did the 'minimal stimulation' thing at night too.

Both of mine were earlyish to sleep through (6 weeks for ds1, 14 weeks for ds2). And whilst I do accept there's an element of luck - I do attribute some of their excellent sleeping habits (then and now) to a good routine from the off.