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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

give it to me straight - am I entitled over inheritance or are my parents selfish

447 replies

twoopsie · 14/12/2014 12:13

To cut a long story short. My parents are very well off,dad is on a final salary pension and mum draws a state pension. They have a 5 bed Edwardian house in the south east, 2 buy to let flats owned outright, and from my dads side they inherited the family farm that is let out to four different people / businesses.

They have an income after tax of 8k a month and spend money stupidly. Dad bought a Mercedes purely to drive to the golf course as the clubs won't fit in the ferrari. 4 exotic holidays a year. Spend more on an extension than my whole house cost.

Anyway good for them but they have told me that they don't intend to leave me anything as they have earnt everything and want me to do the same. Firstly they haven't earnt everything as they inherited , mum has had state pension for more years than she worked and dad got to retire early on a final salary pension. They happy take extras like the free bus pass so the car won't get scratched in town and talk about using the winter fuel allowance to buy wine and claim theyve worked for this and are entitled to them.

Aibu to at least expect them to pass on what they were lucky enough to inherit?

OP posts:
tigermoll · 14/12/2014 12:16

Unfortunately, you don't have a right to inherit from your parents. It is their money to piss away or give to a donkey sanctuary or whatever they want.

However, you WNBU to hoot with laughter every time they talk about having 'earned' that money - every time they say it, point out that they inherited their wealth and are also on benefits (state pension and winter fuel allowance). Make it a 'joke' but don't let them get away with it.

fairyfuckwings · 14/12/2014 12:17

Actually yeah I think your parents are selfish. I predict we'll be in the minority though!

Original poster
twoopsie · 14/12/2014 12:17

Just to add I didn't get anything from dgp, was all left to parents and I assumed my time would come.

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 14/12/2014 12:18

You can contest their will after they're dead should you so wish.

Don't bother having this argument with them.

madsadbad · 14/12/2014 12:19

Of course you are being unreasonable, to be truthful I work hard now so I will hopefully be in a place to support family members etc, however if they had the attitude that they were entitled I would not be bothered.

PamDooveOrangeJoof · 14/12/2014 12:20

If they don't intend to leave it to you, what do they indeed to do with it? If try own properties outright they will have to go somewhere?

lapetitesiren · 14/12/2014 12:20

Seems odd. Did you upset them? Are they just winding you up? You are entitled to nothing but why would someone not want to do something nice for their child?

Original poster
twoopsie · 14/12/2014 12:20

Thanks fairy I know we will be on our own on this, but nice to know one person sees it that way

OP posts:
ReginaBlitz · 14/12/2014 12:21

wow its like you are wishing them dead already. Wait till they peg it and hope for the best i say.

Polyethyl · 14/12/2014 12:21

Yes they are selfish. What you earnt you can spend but what tou inherited you should pass on (assuming care costs covered).

However there are some weirdly antagonistic mumsnetters who will give you grief for daring to think about the possibility of inheriting your fair share.

HollyJollyXmas · 14/12/2014 12:21

They sound very tight fisted, but unfortunately its not a 'right' to inherit.

Squeegle · 14/12/2014 12:22

How is your relationship with them generally? Is that connected with this at all? It seems unusually mean to me, but I wonder if there is more to this than what you've mentioned so far...

NewEraNewMindset · 14/12/2014 12:22

I don't really understand why you wouldn't want to help your children. But I wonder if they want you to believe they won't be including you in their will because they don't want you to start slacking career wise knowing a huge chunk of money is heading your way down the line.

Windywenceslas · 14/12/2014 12:22

You don't have a right to an inheritance, if they want to spend their wealth that's their business. It is a bit selfish not to want to leave anything behind for their children, but that's their call.

whattheseithakasmean · 14/12/2014 12:25

I would contest that will if I were you, for sure. I live in Scotland where parents can't disinherit their children. All children are entitled to inherit the movable estate, so you won't get the houses but you would get any savings or investments - seems much fairer to me.

Suzannewithaplan · 14/12/2014 12:26

seems a bit mean of them

mrsfuzzy · 14/12/2014 12:27

you could contest a will, but i think unless you are dependant on your parents financially in some way i wouldn't hold my breath. they are lucky to have their wealth, my kids won't have a pot to pee in when dh and i fall off the perch, we aren't prepared to live frugally so the kids can have a couple of grand each, we're going to use equality release on our home for income. my d grandfather died with £2,000 in his wardorobe and very little in the fridge, but that's how it was back then. noone is entitled.

ArgyMargy · 14/12/2014 12:28

YANBU. They seem massively selfish to me. They have been very lucky to have been born at the right time to benefit from the property market etc. This will never be the case again, so you would never be able to do what they have done.

However, the bright side is that you will never be beholden to them! You never have to worry about upsetting them and they will never be able to blackmail you with the threat of disinheritance. And money is not everything.

TheBogQueen · 14/12/2014 12:31

I think they are being very selfish. DP and I are working to ensure our children have at least a little bit oh money coming to them to help them out.

MissPronounced · 14/12/2014 12:31

They're not mutually exclusive! You do sound entitled and they sound selfish. They of course have a right to be as selfish as they wish, but on a personal level I can understand why you're a bit pissed off. Sounds like they haven't really considered the fact that you might find it hurtful, and not just because of missing out on the money.

FrontForward · 14/12/2014 12:31

I think it's entitled to expect to inherit ...but I think your parents attitude stinks. It would upset me. I want my DC to inherit. I want them to be comfortable, to be able to have more time with their DC rather than nose to grindstone as I am. Why would a I not want to give them that? It's that attitude that would hurt me

Riverland · 14/12/2014 12:32

Not sure twoopsie. Think about it seriously. If they left you that Ferrari on the Friday, it'd be scratched by the Monday, wouldn't it, hun?
And let's face it, do you really know a 5 iron from an 8, when it comes to golf?
Wouldnt it be better if the cat protection league got a look in? Be fair and think of all the kittens!

Trickydecision · 14/12/2014 12:33

YANBU. I can't understand parents who do not want to help their children when they can well afford it. They are selfish and yes, you are bloody entitled to expect an inheritance from them.

Joins Fairy on the naughty step.

TheBogQueen · 14/12/2014 12:33

I just want my children to be able to afford a home. Or at least be in a position to help them afford it.

mrsfuzzy · 14/12/2014 12:33

nice call argy, i had an ex fiance who because his mum did't like me threatened to disinherit him, guess who got dumped !!! last i heard he's living as a lodger in a house, the bitch had died and left it to his brother, me ? i went on to marry, be happy and have kids.