To sincerely hope motherhood is not the best thing I will ever do?

[purplebiro]

I'm 12 weeks pregnant, recently announced on FB and an old school friend commented "congrats - it's the best thing you'll ever do". AIBU to really want to reply "I sincerely fucking hope not"?

I know she was trying to be nice and I am delighted about the pregnancy but I am also highly intelligent, ambitious and hard working - if the best thing I'm ever going to do is with my womb, I might as well give up now. AND I doubt anyone would ever say that to a man.

I would imagine this may offend highly intelligent, ambitious and hard working SAHMs, OP.

Agree with NotSaying, but would also say with all due respect that you have no idea how you're going to feel when you've had the baby. I don't think anything can prepare you for the emotional impact.

Umm, I think I might say it to a man. Maybe that's wrong too?

I don't think having a child is really comparable to anything you may or may not achieve in your working life. Even if it was, for me kids would still trump that. Maybe that's not the same for everyone.

Are you worried that people are going to see you as "just a mum" now?

I'm pretty sure dp would rate having our dds as the best thing we've ever done.

Have dc doesn't exclude you from doing all manner of other things but it's often pretty life changing!

Motherhood isn't just something you do with your womb. How odd. You do realise you'll actually have to parent your child once it's born?

Well, I think if you can only pick one thing to do very well in your life, the successful raising to adulthood of another human being has to be on the list

I am trying to ignore the fact that it is so twee and sickly and look to the meaning. having children is extremely rewarding and in terms of the human race, probably the single most important thing any human can do

It may not be the best thing you will ever do, but it should be the thing where you always try to do your best.

I wouldn't read too much into it, it sounds like she was just saying it's great to have kids, lots of fun and very rewarding.

is this your first? should I be careful what I say about the rest of it?

Look at it this way - there is no job in the world you'd be prepared to give your life for. For your child, you would.

it should be the most rewarding thing you ever do..the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world

I personally think it is the best thing you could do to have children but you should also have other ambitions in life.

And what do you think will be the best thing you'll ever do? Become rich? Famous?

I can't imagine what can be a better achievement than raise a human being.

I certainly hope that being a mum is the best thing I'll ever do, because it's certainly much harder work than my senior level, high flying career....

Purplebiro When I let it be known that I was going to be a father a colleague, male and my senior in every sense, congratulated me and said Make a good job of it, Andrew, whatever you achieve in your day-job it's the most important thing you'll ever do - and he was right.

And that was thirty years ago.

I pity your children.....

Congratulations. I hope it will be one of the best things you will ever do. I would say that to a man too. And to any person, whether intelligent, thick as mince, ambitious, laid back, hard-working or lazy. Doing things with your womb is cool and doesn't mean you need to give up doing things with your brain and heart and will. In fact you and anyone else involved in the parenting will need to use all those things to bring up the little fucker as well as do all the other best stuff you want to do and deal with all the shit life throws at you.

Motherhood is the best thing ive ever done. It doesnt negate all my other past or future acheivements.

But I am happy to say (as I am sure.most parents are) that having kids is fucking hard the best thing theyve ever done.

And in any event OP much love, good luck, and come and tell us when your little miracle is born, and give him/her a kiss from cyber-uncle Andrew!

I suspect you will feel different when your child is born. Out of interest what is it you planuto do that you think will be better?

It was the best thing we ever did OP
However, it has never stopped us from doing anything we wanted or needed to do.
I think there are times when you have to compromise, but being a parent gives you a new mindset anyway and the compromises aren't resented. Not in our case anyway.
I do think people say this to men as well, I know several friends and colleagues said this to my dh.

I agree with most - despite lots of achievements in our careers, I consider the way we've raised our children to be the most important thing we've done - massively challenging yet hugely rewarding long term 'work'.

I bet, by the time your baby is a year, max, you will understand exactly what your friend meant.

Ha, I know what you mean, and a year ago I would have said exactly the same. But today, while feeding my baby, I disagree- I can't justify it, but there is.

But I think it is still a dickish thing to say to someone. It's ok for me to think it, but rude for someone to think it of me.

Its also the best thing I've ever done too.

(And so will your baby's father.)

Heels99 Perhaps being a grandparent is even better - I am still waiting to find out - because you can hand them back!

"I know she was trying to be nice"

End of story. Next!