To sincerely hope motherhood is not the best thing I will ever do?

[purplebiro]

I'm 12 weeks pregnant, recently announced on FB and an old school friend commented "congrats - it's the best thing you'll ever do". AIBU to really want to reply "I sincerely fucking hope not"?

I know she was trying to be nice and I am delighted about the pregnancy but I am also highly intelligent, ambitious and hard working - if the best thing I'm ever going to do is with my womb, I might as well give up now. AND I doubt anyone would ever say that to a man.

Creating another human life. Rubbish in the scheme of things really when you think about it eh?

There's a bit more to it than just shooting a baby out of your vagina, OP. I understand there are books you can read about the next stage.

Of course it's the best thing you'll ever do! You will understand in time.

I had a similar comment on facebook when we announced we were expecting and I was a bit uncomfortable with the tone of it on a public forum as it seemed to suggest that if you failed to reproduce, you had failed in life. We took some time to conceive and other close family and friends have had issues with starting a family when they have dearly wanted to and so that set me on edge a bit but I chalked it up to me reading too much into it. I wouldn't respond - it was meant innocently enough.

YABU.

I have a 2.1in a science subject and a professional qualification. We've visited some amazing places, tried lots of different activities and learnt new skills. Being a parent is by far the best and hardest thing I have ever done. DH got a first class degree when DD1 was 20 months old. He's currently studying for a MA in a subject he is passionate about (and wishes he's started at 18, not 38). He often says having children is the best thing he has ever done (and lots of people told him so when I was pregnant).

If something as emotionally, mentally and physically demanding as having children wasn't the best thing I'd ever done I would be very disappointed.

I would think you quite odd if you considered anything you achieved professionally more worthwhile than raising your own child.

Lots of people say it to men too. Because they're talking about raising a child not being pregnant.

Currently pregnant myself and hand on heart hope this isn't the best thing I ever do, feel dreadful! However rather hope I do a good job of raising my child.

I am intelligent ambitious and hard working but being a mother is by far more rewarding than slogging away making someone else profit any day of week. You can really compare the two.

Definitely the best thing I've ever done.

Although I do have other achievements in my life too.

Can I just cheerily say that I think that both DH and I - six degrees, two very fun and intense careers and two wee ones between us - do indeed probably agree that yes it's the best thing we've ever done. Sorry, this is going to sound very patronising - but come back to this in a year and you'll get it.

Bloody hell OP what I would give to be 12 weeks pregnant and bitching on here about a well meaning friend writing a sweet message to you.

Honestly, I have no words bar offensive ones.

Yes, come and re-read this when your baby is 18 - you'll know what she means then.

I think you've made the mistake of thinking that being a parent stops at the birth. Raising a happy nurtured child is the best thing ( and one of the hardest) I've ever accomplished in my life. I'm plenty accomplished in other areas too but any personal or professional achievement doesn't come close to how proud I am that I try to do my best every day with my child. My husband feels the same by the way.

I've been having a professional crisis lately and am 16 weeks pregnant - this thread (bar the first post ) has cheered me up and heartened me greatly :)

Does she mean 'best' as in 'most worthwhile achievement' or 'best' as in 'most enjoyable and fulfilling to experience'?

You come across as very touchy op. Are you always so sensitive?

You do realise it's just a thing that people say?

People are generally thrilled to hear of a pregnancy, especially a first time mum and some tend to be emphatic in their words.

You just seem very bristly!

I'm a dentist - I worked very hard to get my degree and work very hard in my chosen profession.
However my DS is the hardest thing I have ever done and the best.
No one's gravestone ever said "very good caring dentist". "Beloved wife and mother" is what I want on mine.

For most people it will be the best thing they have ever done, not for people gifted in science or something academic though.

Come back and tell us how you feel after you hold your baby for the first time.

You might be surprised.

YANBU - I also don't rate parenting as an achievement. I think it's a responsibility and obligation to be a good parent if you choose to have children but I don't think of it as my personal achievement.

But I think your Facebook friend probably just meant it's the best decision you'll ever make.

I am intelligent (Oxbridge 1st blah, blah, blah), ambitious and hardworking. I have a successful and well paid career. Having children is the best thing I have ever done by some margin (although suspect I would be regarded as more successful in my career than in my parenting!)

I have to agree with Castlemilk - you may well feel differently after you have your baby. I know that sounds patronising, but before I had my DD I couldn't understand why people said having DC was the best thing they'd ever done.

Now I can categorically state that yes, she is the best thing I've ever done. She is the light of my life and I can't imagine how I got on without her. And I am the main breadwinner, with a job with a lot of responsibility, stress and status. I am still ambitious but having her has completely changed my outlook on life.

But I do hate cheesy Facebook posts/comments like this so I can understand why you'd be irritated.

Raising my 2 dd's and seeing them growing into wonderful human beings is the best thing I've ever done and I can't wait to start it all again. I consider myself to be a successful person, I have a great life, but having children was and always will be the best thing I've done in my life. You'll understand in a few years what your friend and everyone on this post is talking about.

Look very few of us get to be Nobel prize winners and change the course of science or history by our actions so the one thing that is left behind when we are gone is our children. While you can still be ambitious and take pride in doing your job well for a lot of people the most permanent mark on this world we make is through the children we give life to .

Petallic do you have children?