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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that the parents of the birthday child cover the cost of a birthday treat?

292 replies

Rantymop · 18/11/2014 17:30

Ds has been invited to a classmates birthday, consisting of cinema trip and pizza afterwards.

Confined that ds would be going, and today I recieved an email asking for £30 to cover the part of his cinema ticket, dinner and transport to the venue.

Ds has had a couple of the cinema/pizza type birthdays and I have always covered all costs for all the children invited.

It's a bit odd, right?

OP posts:
Rantymop · 18/11/2014 17:31

*confirmed

OP posts:
bluebeanie · 18/11/2014 17:32

Yes, I think it odd and steep at that...

Kitsmummy · 18/11/2014 17:32

Jeez, that is one of the cheekiest things I have heard of! And at £30 it sounds like they're hoping to make a profit too!

Enjorasdream · 18/11/2014 17:32

£30 for cinema and a pizza? Is there caviar and Wagyu beef on the pizza?

I8toys · 18/11/2014 17:32

Very odd - taking the piss. You don't pay to attend a birthday party - unless its Elton John's.

RufusTheReindeer · 18/11/2014 17:33

I think that's odd and expensive!!!

We might ask for help with transport or for parents to drop them off but cinema and food we would pay for

tallulah · 18/11/2014 17:33

Very odd. When I've hosted pizza and cinema trip parties I expect to pay for the pizza and the cinema ticket for the party guests, but the guests parents drop them off and pick them up (unless there are only 2 or 3 of them and they fit in the car).

Rantymop · 18/11/2014 17:33

I know, there are 5 children invited as well at £30 a pop.

OP posts:
MrsKitty · 18/11/2014 17:33

Very weird. Especially as I'd struggle to see how that'd cost much more than £20 anyway. Unless it's posh pizza and a limo!

FrozenAteMyDaughter · 18/11/2014 17:33

I think it's odd too OP but even if it wasn't £30 seems a bit steep for kids pizza and the cinema. How are they getting there? Limousine?

iwantavuvezela · 18/11/2014 17:33

I agree, the birthday is usually covered by the hosts. Perhaps you could send an email back asking for £x to cover cost of gift!

christinarossetti · 18/11/2014 17:34

This is one of those things that is only really on with close friends if you know they're a bit skint. It's definitely not the way classmate birthday parties are usually held.

30 quid is a lot of money - definitely ridiculous amount of ask other parents to contribute.

Canyouforgiveher · 18/11/2014 17:35

Perhaps you could send an email back asking for £x to cover cost of gift!

That's brilliant.

I think they'll make a profit out of the birthday at the rate they are going. Unless it was dc's best friend, I'd say no thanks to that invite.

WitchesGlove · 18/11/2014 17:35

That's very expensive.

Are the parents wealthy? or poor? Do you think they're actually honest people?

tell them about that groupon cinema offer- 5 tickets for £20!

BasketzatDawn · 18/11/2014 17:36

Wouldn't a tenner cover that? And you are not U as costs would normally be covered by birthday family. Chancers IMO.

Kitsmummy · 18/11/2014 17:36

Don't pay it Op, decline the invite, you can't let them get away with that!

ilovepowerhoop · 18/11/2014 17:36

I think I'd mail back to say that he is no longer going. No way is £30 reasonable.

WireCat · 18/11/2014 17:36

Good god. It's very rude and not the done thing. And £30. Wtf?

AnnieLobeseder · 18/11/2014 17:36

Weird and rude. When DD did a movie and dinner birthday, I limited her to 3 friends because that's all we could afford. It would never have occurred to me to ask parents to pay.

I'd write back explaining that there had been a misunderstanding and that DC wouldn't be able to attend after all.

2minsofyourtime · 18/11/2014 17:37

I reckon they are covering the cost of their own tickets which is why they asked for 30£. Really cheeky and expensive.

Rantymop · 18/11/2014 17:37

The thing is, I have already said he would go. But I have huge costs this month, insurances to renew and its ds birthday soon. I could really do without shelling out £30 plus the cost of a present right now.

Dh thinks it's cheeky beyond belief not to have said something at the time of invite (they are year 8, so the parents just sent an email in the first instance and no mention of payment then).

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 18/11/2014 17:38

yanbu - if I do this I invite a small number and pay - I wouldn't expect parents to pay for the privilege of their child attending my child's birthday trip!

NewEraNewMindset · 18/11/2014 17:38

Oh god please decline the invitation. I can't believe anyone thinks that charging for an invite after it has been accepted is good manners!! Could it be a cultural thing? If not then I certainly would not be paying £30 and taking a present along too. Crazy!!

MonstrousRatbag · 18/11/2014 17:38

That's just wrong. When my children have had those kinds of parties we've covered the cost. What next, passing a hat round to pay for the puppet show at an at-home party?

And frankly, if you are going to ask for the money, ask at the time the invitation is made, not later, so people know what it is they are saying yes to.

I8toys · 18/11/2014 17:38

I would just say you can't afford it - honesty best policy. The nerve of it.