To think that the parents of the birthday child cover the cost of a birthday treat?

[Rantymop]

Ds has been invited to a classmates birthday, consisting of cinema trip and pizza afterwards.

Confined that ds would be going, and today I recieved an email asking for £30 to cover the part of his cinema ticket, dinner and transport to the venue.

Ds has had a couple of the cinema/pizza type birthdays and I have always covered all costs for all the children invited.

It's a bit odd, right?

[Rantymop]

Have no idea about the family tbh, kids are young secondary age so I've only ever met them to say a flying hi to if i've dropped ds over.

[grocklebox]

You'd be out of your tiny to pay them that, don't encourage such crazy people!

[VinoTime]

The only expense you should have for a birthday party is the card, gift and possible transport costs to get your DC there.

How very odd

It seems awfully expensive for what it is. A child's cinema ticket is what, on average around £5-6? And a child's pizza, desert and a drink another £8 maybe? They usually do a kiddies meal offer of main, pudding and drink round about where I am for under a fiver

[CiderwithBuda]

Just because you have said yes doesn't mean you can't change your mind. £30 is a lot of money to pay to attend a birthday treat.

I would imagine quite a few people would be re-thinking their acceptance!

[Kitsmummy]

Seriously, you have to decline now, don't worry about the fact you've already said yes, they need to be made aware that they're taking the piss!

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

Funny how she gets confirmation first THEN stings YOU with the cost!

Pffft

[NewEraNewMindset]

Just write a polite email to say that unfortunately DS will have to decline the invitation as when you accepted you didn't realise there would be a cost beyond a birthday present. Hoping birthday boy has a lovely time, kind regards etc etc.

[Viviennemary]

I think it's a cheek. Don't encourage people. But I suppose it's a shame if your DS wants to go. If people can afford build a bear and the like then fine, if they can't then they have a small party or sleepover at home.

[ConcreteElephant]

The thing is, I have already said he would go.

This isn't a thing at all, you said he would go when it was a regular birthday invitation. Now it's a different beast, and a very cheeky one at that.

I'd decline at this point, I really would - £30 is craziness, you'll be sent a gift list next.

[raltheraffe]

Just out of interest I would email back and ask for a breakdown of the costs.

[rollonthesummer]

Reply with...I'm sorry, I hadn't appreciated we would be expected to pay to attend your child's birthday treat. I am afraid I will have to decline after all.

What does your DC say?

[Marylou2]

How odd! Never heard anything like it. You pay for your childrens parties and they pay for theirs.Thems the rules.

[TeaForTara]

The thing is, I have already said he would go

You're allowed to change your mind. If you want you can say, "Sorry, didn't realise you weren't funding it, and I can't afford that now, so he won't be coming" but you're perfectly in your rights to just say "He can't come after all" and give no explanation.

They are really taking the p; I've never heard of this.

[OvertiredandConfused]

I'd say no now too - you could always say that DS has already spent / used his allowance for going out this month!

[LegoCaltrops]

Tell them the truth, you can't afford it & if they'd said upfront it would cost a whopping £30 you'd have declined straightaway. Be polite & they can't really complain.

[MeMyselfAnd1]

Frankly, just send a message back and say you would have liked to be told about the contribution when you received the invitation, or...

Just say that you have already got a present for him so they can count that as the contribution to the party, or...

Being the mean person I am, I would have a word with my child about how rude, cheap bastards the parents of that child are. I would tell him that I don't want him to go to the party so... If he wants to spend the 30 pounds himself instead of going to the party, he is welcome to do it.

[spamanderson]

:o my kids absolutely wouldn't be going! That's just unreasonable to expect guests to contribute anything. I suppose they'll be expecting gifts for the birthday child too? I can't afford to do parties for my kids, so we don't do them, we have a family gathering then do a special day out as a family. You absolutely aren't being unreasonable at all.

[Kitsmummy]

Ask for back payment of all your son's parties that their DS has attended ,

[KatieKaye]

What a nerve!
Go with Rollons suggestion.

[woodychip]

Just explain you have never heard of having to pay to attend a birthday party and so will have to decline. What do the other parents say?! This is cheeky beyond belief!

[CleanLinesSharpEdges]

Tell her to fuck off.

Alternatively, if you feel you can't back out now, tell her you'll meet them at the cinema and pay for DS ticket yourself, then you'll pick him up from the pizza place and pay for only what he's had.

She's trying to make a profit out of her child's birthday celebrations. Scandalous!

[Summerisle1]

Yes, you did say your ds could go but that was on the perfectly reasonable basis that a party invitation would usually come without the requirement to lay out £30. If the cost factor had been clearly set out in the original invitation then I suspect you would have declined at the outset.

[fuzzpig]

That's awful. I can't afford big parties for my DCs but whatever we do, we pay for! Hopefully doing theatre and dinner this year for will-be-8yo, I'd love to take a few of her friends but it'll likely be one.

[rollonthesummer]

You absolutely must decline-you can't let these people get away with such cheeky behaviour. It sounds like they want the guests' parents to cover the cost of the birthday girl and them for a nice meal out. They are total piss-takers!

[TakeMeUpTheNorthMountain]

Tell her no. Dont be embarrassed, just say you dont have it. If se gets snarky or starts bad mouthing you, just say "Hey, Ididnt have the cash, but clearly neither did you if you are asking every parent for 30 quid a head"!

What can she do if you say no?