To think that the parents of the birthday child cover the cost of a birthday treat?

[Rantymop]

Ds has been invited to a classmates birthday, consisting of cinema trip and pizza afterwards.

Confined that ds would be going, and today I recieved an email asking for £30 to cover the part of his cinema ticket, dinner and transport to the venue.

Ds has had a couple of the cinema/pizza type birthdays and I have always covered all costs for all the children invited.

It's a bit odd, right?

[confuddledDOTcom]

A few people have commented on the "transport" cost which got me too because they're going anyway but the one point no one mentioned is why are they asking for the money as a set cost up front? Even if she had reasonably arranged it, they should be taking their own money and paying for themselves. I hate bills being split equally in most circumstances (although if I'm out with my parents we split it equally so that the children are shared between us, just with my parents though, we don't for going out with friends or wider family) but this annoys me more because they're deciding what the cost is going to be in advance. What if they spend less? Will there be a refund?

Agree with the others about paintballing, you do have to watch the cost. The men in my group go airsofting regularly and it's the one thing they comment on is the price difference, they buy a massive tub of pellets for £5 that will last for a few day games and a weekend away.

[carlsonrichards]

Transport costs just ridiculous. Feel sorry for the kid his ma is still chancing her arm.

[HelpMeGetOutOfHere]

Totally off topic but if paintball party is delta force, you'll probably need a shed load of extra cash!

We took ds2 and 11 mates paid for a package and h spent an additional £300 on the day plus most boys brought £10-20 extra as well. They allocated a very small amount if paintballs per game out of your package.

Admittedly h could have spent less but then the boys would have used all the paintballs within the first few minutes of each game and then been bored.

[carlsonrichards]

Sounds like she is after a quick buck.

[Vikingbiker]

Yes I expect teens often pay their way however parents need to be upfront if they want monetary contributions.

[fluffymouse]

I've read the thread and am outstanded by her cheek.

Waiting for an update.

[TheLeftovermonster]

I have a 14 year old DS and, like others have said, they do 'outings' where everyone pays their own way and no presents are expected. Last time DS was asked by his friend to bring £20 for cinema and food afterwards. No present or card needed, DS said.
For DS's birthday it's the same every year - he takes 3 friends to Thorpe Park, we pay (2 for 1 deal) and drive them, they get their own food. Some of the kids did ask if they should pay for their ticket, but we said no because it will complicate things - we can't have some paying and some not, what if parents can't or won't, etc. But it seems teens paying for themselves is not uncommon. The weird thing here is the mum asking for the money.

[Only1scoop]

Whoops sorry wrong thread

[Only1scoop]

I found watching the 'wounded' Alik talking in his baby voice at the end pretty grim also....

[CariadsDarling]

I do understand how what the lads mum has done isn't really on. Honest :)

[Changingnames32]

I feel sorry for the party boy.

[tess73]

You've done the right thing
FWIW it does cost about £30 if you were say in Kingston Odeon - a ticket, a drink, some popcorn followed by Pizza Express.
it doesn't have to cost that much but it could easily.

the only time i ever accept money offered is if it is during half term and i say we are going to see x at the cinema would anyone like to come. if they don't offer to pay i don't worry about it but most do and in those instances i do accept. no way for a birthday.

i can see in secondary when the kids arrange between themselves to have a birthday day out then everyone pays for themselves but that is the kids arranging it NOT the parents and it is very clear from the outset that it is just a get together really. certainly wouldn't expect much in the way of a present too.

[Ohmygrood]

Yes £30 unbudgetted is a lot. Especially if your ds's birthday is coming up.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

Pffffft. I've got a spare £30 and I still wouldnt pay in those circumstances.

[Vikingbiker]

Cari £30 is a lot of money. And actually it would probably be more like £40 after buying a gift for the child. That would be half my food money gone for the week.

[Only1scoop]

[Celticlass2]

cariadsdarling Are you the grabby parent??

[Only1scoop]

Op if parent sent an invite saying "I've booked cinema etc etc" I wouldn't expect them to be looking for the costs unless they were upfront.

Her poor ds

Hope she has the sense to inform the next sets of parents about 'entrance fees' upfront.

[Rantymop]

I don't have £30 to spend on a cinema trip on a few days notice. It's not a case of it not being worth the hassle and awkwardness, I've had to shell out hundreds on renewing house and car insurance this month, with ds own birthday coming up, I simply can't afford for him to go out this weekend.

If she had said she wanted money in the origional email, I would have had to decline.

[CariadsDarling]

Was not paying the 30 pound really worth this?

[sanfairyanne]

yes - suggest your ds organise a pizza/movie night another time for him

[GooseberryJam]

That's a shame, and I suspect she hasn't been. I wonder how many will actually go. Maybe you could suggest to your DS that he gets his friend over for a sleepover or something to try and compensate for it all afterwards. They can eat pizza you have got in from the supermarket...

[Rantymop]

Ds came home and told me that his friend has invited other children from school to replace the ones who have dropped out.

Ds said he felt really bad for him today.

I really hope his mother has been upfront about costs to the new children.

[alongslogg]

Hope you got a good package for your paintballing! If it's were I think you are going. Make sure when they give you the the paintballs not to fill the hopper full! They will tell you to but then you find the kids get trigger happy and after the first couple of games their isn't any balls left and you then have to buy more at an extortionate price! They only need half a filling container per game. It is a wonderful birthday treat tho. can imagine you are paying perhaps more the £30 ahead

[KoalaDownUnder]

Oooh, how weird! And rude! And totally awkward!!!

I don't think it's polite to invite someone to a child's or teen's birthday celebration and ask them to pay at all, really. Even less so if you only tell them the cost after they accept.

Poor kid. :(