To think that the parents of the birthday child cover the cost of a birthday treat?

[Rantymop]

Ds has been invited to a classmates birthday, consisting of cinema trip and pizza afterwards.

Confined that ds would be going, and today I recieved an email asking for £30 to cover the part of his cinema ticket, dinner and transport to the venue.

Ds has had a couple of the cinema/pizza type birthdays and I have always covered all costs for all the children invited.

It's a bit odd, right?

My apologies. I have just googled and Sheffield Cineworld does movies for juniors at £1.35. I doubt that a 13 year old would want to see any junior movies on offer.

How embarrassing to ask for the money!

If you can't afford it, then I think its better to have invited all the kids over for a DVD evening and ordered a takeaway pizza.

I think that price might be the early weekend Saturday kids showings that a lot of cinemas do Bunbaker. It tends to be showings of slightly older films rather than new releases. All our local cimemas tend to do these showings

OP well done for making sure your ds doesn't give this lad a hard time. I feel really sorry for him

Marking my place, because I need to see how this one pans out. Ludicrous.

Once mine got into secondary, they would sit around talking about what to do. Then someone would suggest doing x,y and z. They would then agree and work out costs. I never got involved. It was an agreement between them all. Think the parents have heard about these types of parties and taken over, rather than letting him manage it himself.

I keep refreshing my email now

I have no idea if she will reply or not.

Ooh bank transfer opens up some possibilities - email back saying sadly you can't afford it yourself but you have, by a stroke of good luck, just been contacted by a Nigerian general who has ten million dollars which he needs to get out of the country and will give a million to the person who helps him. You have passed their bank details on to him and they can take the £30 out of the resulting $1m.

it's £6.75 for a teen ticket on Saturday for Mockingjay at our local Vue cinema.

You wouldn't get a 13 yr old kid's cinema ticket for £1.60 in London, nowhere near. Actually, I think that if they bought a cinema ticket, some popcorn, and adult-size pizzas plus drinks in pizza express, it would be easy to spend around £30 per head. But that's not the point. She implied it was a party invite, now she's asking you to pay.

TeaforTara I just woke the baby snorting with laughter at that!

For the sake of the boy who's birthday it is I would pay up. I just couldn't let him be humiliated because of it even if other kids have been warned not to make it an issue.

If she had said £30 in the first email, I would have said thanks but no, ds can't make it I'm afraid in the first place.

It's the fact that three weeks went by and she asks for money a few days before the event.

And if she has actually bought and paid for the relevant number of tickets they will probably get wasted now

But I would have told her to sod off as well, would never dream if asking people for money to come to my DCs party

Our local Vue its £8.90 a ticket and odeon is £6.50. Bog standard teen seats in London.

For the sake of the boy who's birthday it is I would pay up. I just couldn't let him be humiliated because of it even if other kids have been warned not to make it an issue.

Reeeeeally?! See I feel responsible for my children and any where I am in loco parentis, but otherwise I don't feel responsible for someone else's privileged child beyond societal norms and my legal duty.

I certainly don't care enough about someone else's child's feelings to give them £30 because they are unfortunate enough to have a couple of socially awkward parents who have made a faux pas.

Remarkable! Unbelievably cheeky

I would have paid regardless of the time frames involved. I couldn't let a child, even an older one, have to live the reality of his parents lack of social grace.

That email is unbelievable. Transport costs when they are using there own cars !

Just read the full thread...it is bloody cheeky! Really want you to get a reply to that email OP!

I strongly suspect that three weeks ago when they sent the invites out they fully intended on paying for it, but this week they have realised that they is no way that can afford it so have worked out that the petrol, cinema for 6 teens and two adults, plus pizzas, drinks and whatever else will cost around £150 so have sent out a last minute email asking for £30 per teen.

Parties for early teens round here tend to be halfway between what people have described above.

You get email no 1: which says date, time, proposed activity. Would also include if any money is needed eg please bring a bit of pocket money for buying a sandwich after the activity, or a packed lunch. Also 'we are going on the train so bring your railcard' which clues parents in to need for train fare. Usually says please don't bring a present too, so there is no extra cost.

You accept or decline on basis of email no 1.

Email no 2. confirms which train to meet for, gives contact mobile etc.

This seems to work well. If you can't afford then, you decline or send packed lunch. I think it is fine to ask for contribution if you are a) upfront about it b) keep it low eg £5.

I think early teens is time for making lots of new friends so I think it's great when parties are able to encompass a lot of people going along, esp for girls who otherwise get to cliquey and 'best friend' ish.

I am happy to contribute so my DD can go to activities which her friends. Luckily everyone round here is in same ish income bracket so no one is doing lavish stuff, everyone trying to make ends meet etc.