To think that the parents of the birthday child cover the cost of a birthday treat?

[Rantymop]

Ds has been invited to a classmates birthday, consisting of cinema trip and pizza afterwards.

Confined that ds would be going, and today I recieved an email asking for £30 to cover the part of his cinema ticket, dinner and transport to the venue.

Ds has had a couple of the cinema/pizza type birthdays and I have always covered all costs for all the children invited.

It's a bit odd, right?

[jezzapaxmanslovechild]

My oldest is 17 and youngest is 11 -we have always paid for kids to attend their birthday treats - they are taking the piss!

[Frogme]

Sorry no one collected the money. They just pay for themselves. They don't do presents either unless for very best friends. The cost of the present nearly pays for the outing.

[cheesecakemom]

I thought it was a British thing? I've been invited to birthday dinners where I'm expected to pay for my own meal as well as being asked to be a bridesmaid then paying for my own dress!

Where I come from that doesn't happen. You host the party, you pay for everything, unless you are having a "bring and share" type barbecue!

[itiswhatitiswhatitis]

Well at least if others are turning it down you know they will get the message! I can believe the cost for tickets, popcorn and pizza but it's their choice to invite they cover it! The only thing I would think acceptable is to say that if kids want sweets/popcorn at the cinema please send some pocket money.

[Sister77]

Op could the email have been worded wrongly and meant the total cost is £30 rather than per child?
(Clutching at non existent straws).

[cheesecakemom]

Maryz like I say I wouldn't have been shocked particularly as I only have a toddler and all parties/ dinners I have gone to were grown up things I had to pay for myself in the UK. Where I'm from the host would pay for everything and it would be rude for you not to bring a gift.

[fourwoodenchairs]

Unbelievably cheeky.

I'm glad you've declined.

[Rantymop]

No crossed wires.

Original email said "hi, x would love x to come to the cinema and a pizza dinner afterwards for his birthday on x date.

I've booked tickets for Mockingjay at 4pm, the boys can be dropped at our house at 3.30 and we will take them there in both cars and drop them home on the way back.

Let me know asap if x can attend".

No mention of money, just "I have booked tickets", which I took to mean, I've paid for them already, my treat". That's the wording I've always used for similar treats for ds.

I confirmed the next day, three weeks ago.

Today I get an email saying "great, glad x can come, the charge for each child is £30 for ticket, food and transport cost, please send the cash with your child or you can write me a cheque or do a bank transfer, look forward to seeing x on sat".

[Bulbasaur]

Perhaps the parents aren't aware of how it is done and they might be embarrassed now.

I can't think of a single country where the guest pays for the invited activity. This rudeness transcends all cultures and economic backgrounds.

[Phoenixfrights]

Good god. They must be really desperate. Although they have two cars, which suggests....not. And asking you to do a balance transfer?! hahahahahhahahahaha. Unbelievable.

[Nanny0gg]

It's rude and I see the problem.

As they are young teens, are they planning on Pizza Express rather than Pizza Hut?

Poor lad. They're going to say something to him at school, aren't they?

[ENormaSnob]

The cheeky scrounging twats.

[Phoenixfrights]

If they're taking their own cars, what's the 'transport cost' all about?! Do they mean the small amount of petrol they will use, or the parking maybe? Anyway, who cares: beyond cheeky and they can get stuffed.

[Rantymop]

Ds and his friends are a nice bunch. I doubt they would say anything nasty, but I have read ds the riot act and said that if he's sn arse to the boy over it, there will be conspsequences, it's not the boys fault.

I assumed Pizza Hut as there is one right next door to the cinema on the complex.

[KatieKaye]

That email is beyond cheeky!
Do they hae form for this sort of thing?

I do feel sorry for the birthday boy though, having parents like that

[woodychip]

I would love to know the cost breakdown. If it were me, I would ask to know the breakdown cost and see what comes back. Then you could maybe offer to meet at the cinema and pay the actual cost yourself instead of their inflated prices!

[Summerisle1]

You are right, OP, no crossed wires there. This was clearly an invitation of the sort that assumes that the costs have been covered since no mention of cost was made. Had there been a charge then this should have been included in the original email.

[Rantymop]

Sorry, typing on phone in the dark while putting baby to bed!

[Selinasupreme]

That is a lot of money isnt it? I would pay if I knew the family were hard up or if they lay it on the line they want DC to come but haven't got much money but it's not really the done thing. I would weigh up weather it will cause upset if you don't pay and your child doesn't go.

[Northumberlandlass]

Bank transfer!!

This is really cheeky. I do feel for the lad though.

[Summerisle1]

If you haven't got the money to host a party that involves cinema tickets, pizza dinners and the transport to get to it all then you scale down the party. Nobody expects hard-up parents to lay on unaffordable parties but equally, nobody expects to get a demand for money when they've accepted an invitation that made no mention of costs.

[PowderMum]

OP the only thing I can add is as you DS gets older he may be expected to pay for birthday outings. My eldest DD is 18 (still at school) this year and to celebrate birthdays her group of friends generally go out for a meal and they all pay for themselves. This is organised themselves. In previous years the parents of the the birthday child has always paid. DD2 is 15 and her birthday treats are at the changing point.

[Summerisle1]

Agree PowderMum but once they get to the age when they are all contributing to the cost of party outings they are invariably organising them themselves. I can't imagine a circumstance when I'd have sent an invitation out on behalf of older teenagers. So yes, what's custom and practice for younger dcs will change but then so will the means of arranging outings.

[Bunbaker]

"Prices:

Cineworld child ticket £1.60
Pizza hut child's party £3.99 per head (unlimited salad, main and drink)"

Our local Cineworld child prices aren't that cheap. Our local small cinema isn't that cheap either. I don't of any cinema that charges £1.60 a ticket, even for the pensioner's specials in town.