To think that the parents of the birthday child cover the cost of a birthday treat?

[Rantymop]

Ds has been invited to a classmates birthday, consisting of cinema trip and pizza afterwards.

Confined that ds would be going, and today I recieved an email asking for £30 to cover the part of his cinema ticket, dinner and transport to the venue.

Ds has had a couple of the cinema/pizza type birthdays and I have always covered all costs for all the children invited.

It's a bit odd, right?

I would have send a text along the lines of, that you were very sorry that you have to decline as you did not realise you woukd be paying for the day,so cannot afford it sorry!

At 13 mine would have organised their own party. If it was cinema or mc d after . We would provide lifts and maybe another mum would drive some . The kids organise all themselves and would certainly bring their own funds. All do this for own birthdays and would expect to pay for themselves. I have maybe stumped up 30 and said to buy popcorn or mc flurries etc. the kids at that age didn't bother too much with gifts. however if it was an organised party I would pay for everything. It does sound like the mother has got too involved . I would decline .

It's not us much that there is a cost, it's that it wasn't in the official invite.

I was very surprised when a friend was telling me a mutual acquaintance was getting cross with her 16 year old DD for not wanting to ask her friends for a tenner towards her birthday meal.

Friend pointed out it isn't usual to ask for money so she grudgingly decided she would use club card vouchers. I thought thinking about a tenner was bad enough but this takes it to a whole new level .

For Gods sake, bloody teenagers and texts.

It appears that other parents have got in from work, checked thier emails and thought 'fuck that' as two of ds friends have text him to say they are no longer going to the lads birthday as thier parents have said no.

Now I feel so sorry for the boy, his birthday will be ruined.

Why didn't she just say it up front that she wanted money? It's short notice too, she sent an invite email three weeks ago and the party is this Saturday.

I would have been happy to have taken ds to the cinema, paid for his entry and then come and picked him up after the film.

Don't back down now !

Stunned. That's terrible. Well done for declining. I'm intrigued to see what happens next!

Was going to ask if you knew the other parents and what were their reactions.

£30 is steep - where I live (Dublin) it's probably be about €20ish for cinema and pizza - not including cinema goods

Well, maybe they will learn from this!!

I agree with a pp. It sounds like it was a casual thing and then the mum got involved. So kids all excited going out off their own bat but mum wants to make sure they all have enough money?

Straws. Grasping.

You know, I was so happy when ds left primary, it was such a relief to have left all this crap and angst behind, or so I thought!

Well tbh Ranty the other cancellations aren't surprising. Poor kid but his mum should have been upfront re the costs and £30 was taking the piss.

I don't know the other parents at all.

Wow, that's cheeky. If they can't afford to cover the cost of the planned party, then IMHO they should scale it down. Movies in the living room with pizzas from the supermarket and microwave popcorn would only work out a few quid per head.

I'd be surprised if any of the others go tbh. How unbelievably cheeky. A straight "no"if it was me, with a simple explanation of "I'm sorry I know I said Ds could go but that was before I realized that I had would have to pay for him". I hope she's not going to set a precedent ffs.

With primary aged children the "party" cost always seems to be covered by the children

Really?!

I don't think the costs are that extortionate. Assume pizza costs £10-15 if including drinks and not based on kiddie menu (which my 10yo rolls eyes at). Cinema £7 plus popcorn/icecream? That's not the point though. It was out of order for the parent to invite your son without making it clear there was a cost. Paying to attend a 13yo's birthday treat is not usual. I wouldn't think twice about pulling out.

Wow that is well cheaky!

Don't feel bad about declining, they moved the goal posts.

"Oh, sorry, I hadn't realised you would want the children invited to pay £30 to attend your DCs birthday party. Unfortunately i havn't got £30 spare in the budget this month so we'll have to decline. Hope you all have a lovely time."

just say you can't afford it and pull out. seriously cheeky

So you say.... 'funnily enough it is £30 per head for my son's paintballing party too. Did I forget to mention it when you confirmed? Anyway, that makes us quits then lol'.

Oh my goodness! This is new levels of cheeky!

Is she on glue?

Pizzazilla?
Partyzilla?
Cheapzilla?

When mine got to secondary school ( a naice mc one) it seemed to be the norm for kids to pay for themselves but
they arranged it themselves and the parents were never involved (except as lifts). There were no invites as such.

I must admit I was a bit at first. Perhaps the parents aren't aware of how it is done and they might be embarrassed now.

Good God, that is unbelievable. I couldn't imagine inviting children to a party and expecting them to pay for the privilege. It's even worse that they have e-mailed this rather than ask to your face. How embarrassing for all the invitees and their parents. I imagine you won't be the only one declining...I am speechless!