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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you do this...

132 replies

LokiBear · 21/09/2014 18:13

Do you buy your other children presents on the birthday child's birthday? Genuinely interested because my parents didn't but it seems that many of the family's, whom I met at baby groups when I had dd, do.

OP posts:
Funkytown · 21/09/2014 18:15

No way only the child who was born on the day

Chottie · 21/09/2014 18:15

No, I never did. Birthdays were always a special day just for the birthday child.

MiddletonPink · 21/09/2014 18:18

No.

It wouldn't make a birthday special.

iwantgin · 21/09/2014 18:20

Well I only have the one DC -but I wouldn't.
I grew up with one Dsis and one Db- and the birthday was that person's day. Not anyone else's.

I don't see why anyone would buy all the DC a gift for their sibling's birthdays.

It's good to learn that not every occasion is a day for a gift for you. some days it is for other people.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 21/09/2014 18:22

No. Its good for kids to see others getting something and not them every now and again.

Privilegeismine · 21/09/2014 18:23

I do. My DM always did. Now I have 4 DC I'm starting to regret starting it!
Its DD1s 11th birthday tomorrow and I've bought the others an expand-a-ball, so nothing huge!

HighwayDragon · 21/09/2014 18:23

No, I only give gifts to siblings when I'm giving a 'new baby' gift, usually a big brother/sister top as it can be hard for a sibling when the baby is so new, never on birthdays though

redexpat · 21/09/2014 18:24

wasnt ever given a resent but allowed to take a friend to big birthday parties.

sticklebrickstickle · 21/09/2014 18:25

I only have one DD but I wouldn't do this - presents only for the person whose birthday it is! My family never did this with my siblings and I and I don't know anyone who does either. I've only heard of it through Mumsnet.

WooWooOwl · 21/09/2014 18:26

No. The non birthday child still gets the treat as we often go out for a celebratory meal and have cake etc, that's more than enough!

Essexgirlupnorth · 21/09/2014 18:26

I used to get a token present on my sisters birthday when I was younger

FixItUpChappie · 21/09/2014 18:29

No - my mum always advised that it's important to understand that some days are about giving to others not recieving. Besides the sibling gets cake, a party bag and enjoys the party so no need really.

Nancy66 · 21/09/2014 18:30

No way. it should be all about the child who has the birthday and, as Fixitup says, siblings get to enjoy cake, parties, games etc.

Nanny0gg · 21/09/2014 18:30

Never ever heard of this before I came on MN.

Strikes me as a really odd thing to do.

As others have said, do it when there's a new baby, but at no other time.

WorraLiberty · 21/09/2014 18:30

No

rockybalboa · 21/09/2014 18:30

Nope, we don't!

riverboat1 · 21/09/2014 18:33

I don't remember this happening when I was growing up. I always thought that's what party bags are for.

I have noticed today though that it is very common, at least here in France where I live. Not sure what I think about it really.

Original poster
LokiBear · 21/09/2014 18:38

Thanks for all of the replies. I'm not being judgemental - I'm firmly in the 'your family, your rules' camp. However, when I said that I wouldn't do this when I have number 2 my baby group friends looked at me like I had two heads and one said I'd change my mind once I had number 2. I feel like many of you about birthdays being special for the birthday child but felt like I was 'odd' during the conversation today.

OP posts:
ChippingInLatteLover · 21/09/2014 18:39

Nope. If they are small enough that they wont understand then the youngest is probably only one so they can open them together, older than 2 and it's time to start understand about this like 'not everything is about you!' :)

ChippingInLatteLover · 21/09/2014 18:40

Where do you like Loki?

Theas18 · 21/09/2014 18:42

Yes of course. Jokey /small sympathy presents are the order of the day eg shower gel deodorant bar of nice choc.

When they were small colouring book and pencils or a card game maybe .

Used to get little things when I was a kid. It just makes birthdays easier without making Thr birthday child less special- siblings aren't grabbing at their new stuff quite so willingly either.

LemonadeRayGun · 21/09/2014 18:45

Nope, never have never would. I never got presents on my sisters birthday. Birthdays are very important and special in our family and are for the birthday person only. I know it can be hard for other children to see their brother or sister getting lots of presents but I believe it is something they need to learn to deal with and be happy for the one getting the presents. There has never really been any problems, aside from the few times Dd has fried to "help" open her brothers presents but we have gently told her they are not hers. My children are generally happy to share their new toys with their siblings but we tell them they are their toys and that is their choice.

odyssey2001 · 21/09/2014 18:47

My parents did for my sister and I when we were young but as an adult I don't agree with it. It takes away the specialness of the person's birthday.

Original poster
LokiBear · 21/09/2014 18:47

I live in the Midlands.

OP posts:
seasavage · 21/09/2014 18:48

No. My pil do (and did with exh and his brother). I hate it. I really feel it detracts from making the day special and instead it's just about gifts and receiving.