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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you do this...

132 replies

LokiBear · 21/09/2014 18:13

Do you buy your other children presents on the birthday child's birthday? Genuinely interested because my parents didn't but it seems that many of the family's, whom I met at baby groups when I had dd, do.

OP posts:
seasavage · 21/09/2014 18:49

Maybe it is a Midlands thing. Exh and his parents are midlanders?

ShadowStar · 21/09/2014 18:49

We've given the unbirthday sibling a party bag at the birthday sibling's birthday party if that counts as a present.

Otherwise, no.

FlossingTheCrevices · 21/09/2014 18:49

Twins, so yes. I wouldn't if siblings born on different days/years. That's weird.

youbethemummylion · 21/09/2014 18:50

Nope they need to learn their birthday is about them other peoples birthdays are not. They get to come on the birthday trip and eat cake they don't need more than that.

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall · 21/09/2014 18:51

No, but I have thought about it, only because DD1 was born on christmas day so of course DS and DD2 get presents on her birthday. I never actually got round to it though.

We do try to make sure DD1 has some special time just for her round her birthday instead.

Its DD2's birthday tomorrow and as far as I can tell DS and DD2 are happy for her, but not upset that they are not getting anything.

carcharodoncarcharias · 21/09/2014 18:52

There's only 15 months between my DDs. When they were very small, we'd give the non-birthday DD a little something (and I do mean little), but it had stopped by the time the oldest was 5.

HairyPotter · 21/09/2014 18:52

We do. A very small token gift usually. I don't think it spoils the specialness of the day at all. It's just a nice way of including both of them.

I take an unbirthday present to my friends dcs as well. Usually a comic or sweets.

icclemunchy · 21/09/2014 18:53

Only once have I done this and to was for my brother & sister.

We didn't see them until around 10 days after my sisters birthday and my little bro is autistic (they 5& nearly 3 so far younger) although he coped well with her birthday I thought it was a bit mean to expect him to understand travelling 3hours to get here and his sister get a present but not him. So I got him some stickers.

As a general rule though no we don't and I won't allow people to do it when our no2 arrives

Mabelface · 21/09/2014 18:54

I absolutely don't and never have done. Mind you, three of mine have the same birthday anyway. Grin

todayisnottheday · 21/09/2014 18:55

Nope, exh tried it once for our dd when it was older dds birthday (so his sdd) he was very quickly educated on the benefits of learning to be pleased for someone else. I agree that everyone makes their choice for their family but this one leaves me disproportionately cold for some reason Confused

storytopper · 21/09/2014 18:56

There is just 18 months between my two DSs so I did when they were very small - something inexpensive for the non-birthday boy.

I stopped it the year that DS1 said "when it is DS2's birthday, can I get...."

I can't remember what he asked for but I realised that I was encouraging greed by continuing this practice.

KatnissEvermean · 21/09/2014 18:56

I don't agree with it. Birthdays are special for the birthday child.

My parents were separated and my dad used to get my younger brother a present on my birthday; one year I got a sand art kit and he got a bike.

Nonie241419 · 21/09/2014 18:56

No, but my MIL thinks I'm really mean for not doing so.

thobblywighs · 21/09/2014 18:57

No. Never. They get to share in the birthday treats, cake etc. Plus, being close in age, they usually end up playing with each other's presents anyway within a few days. Neither ever seem particularly bothered that it isn't their day.

fixyourgardengate · 21/09/2014 18:59

I don't, but my Mum did a little bag for ds (2) for dd's 1st birthday this year. A colouring book, some crayons and a toy tractor I think. He still took every single present off her.....

hels71 · 21/09/2014 18:59

We never did as children. My DD is an only so not an issue, but no-one I Know does this. The only time is, as someone else mentioned, when a new sibling is actually born, then I usually get a present for the new baby and a little something for the siblings so they don't feel left out....but never on birthdays other than this.

Flipflops7 · 21/09/2014 19:17

I had never heard of this before MN either. It's good for kids to know when something is about them and when it isn't.

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 21/09/2014 19:23

I've seen it before and I have bought a small token present fora 15yo boy as an only child all those years, got a surprise baby sister. But no, I don't think its a mainstream normal thing.

Having said that one of my friends is Quaker and although she does do birthdays and Christmas, nothing in their house is individual - so when I buy a present for a birthday it is the family present there is no ownership in her world

ILovePud · 21/09/2014 19:24

Did it one year when we'd wanted our older two to each have some sporting equipment they could use together but realised we'd set a costly precedent so did it for all birthdays that year and then backpedalled. Birthdays are expensive enough as it is.

Gruntfuttock · 21/09/2014 19:25

I only have one (now adult) child, but I certainly wouldn't do it.

PureMorning · 21/09/2014 19:27

No its not their special day.

Purplepoodle · 21/09/2014 19:30

Grandparents always bring a little something for my two not having a birthday. I encourage my children to share their new toys but it's helps if the non birthday children has some new colouring pencils or a little car to play with but all mine are under 5 so it's a bit hard to explain the concept of them not getting anything or not being the first to play with their siblings new toys. I'm sure as they get older we won't need a small something for non birthday children.

Delphiniumsblue · 21/09/2014 19:34

No - every child should have their own special day.

TeenAndTween · 21/09/2014 19:36

We did (well GPs did) when DD2 was aged up to 4 or 5. Just something very small, not wrapped up. But it kept her away from her big sister's presents and gave her something to occupy herself with.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 21/09/2014 19:36

Yes, a token. I only have two children, if I had more I probably wouldn't. But I mostly do so because my mum did the same when I was little and I remember enjoying it!

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