To ask if you do this...

[LokiBear]

Do you buy your other children presents on the birthday child's birthday? Genuinely interested because my parents didn't but it seems that many of the family's, whom I met at baby groups when I had dd, do.

It was my dn 1st bday not too long ago, when we turned up there were two piles of gifts, one for bday girl and another for her sister. I felt a bit shit and awkward but wasn't planning on buying another gift, didn't know it was expected, I can't afford it and would have said so if I was asked, it didn't go down well, it's DN1 bday a few weeks after anyway, again I'm expected to buy both dn1 and dn2 a gift. I'm not, and I know it will be turned into me being a bitch treating dd1 differently as she isn't bils, which is absolutely not true, I love her to bits and am very affectionate with her and think of the same as any other DNS.etc, in fact giving her extra gifts would be treating her differently, we just can't afford to do it, and don't think we should have been told to either. If BIL and SIL want to that as a tradition then that's up to them.

Dh likes to keep the peace but I told him if we did that for all DNS then that's 21 bday gifts instead of 9, dh saw my point then, I'd love to spoil the all rotten but don't have the money, this year is vvvv tight. My time and cuddles are free though, they have unlimited amounts of that.

Oops, just noticed original OP is Septemer.

children have to learn that it's not always all about them

But surely they do, when it's their birthday and their sibling gets a present too? I don't really understand the ire that it seems to inspire in people (only one child myself so completely undecided as to whether I would do it or not), but I am surprised that people believe that what happens on one day a year will make that much difference to the way a child turns out in the long run.

I think I should get a present on DS's birthday. I did the hard work after all.

needaholidaynow
I agree, but I think the point still stands that a once yearly tradition is unlikely to mean that a child is never exposed to jealousy or that children will never learn that it's not all about them as some posters have suggested.