To ask if you do this...

[LokiBear]

Do you buy your other children presents on the birthday child's birthday? Genuinely interested because my parents didn't but it seems that many of the family's, whom I met at baby groups when I had dd, do.

[DoJo]

needaholidaynow
I agree, but I think the point still stands that a once yearly tradition is unlikely to mean that a child is never exposed to jealousy or that children will never learn that it's not all about them as some posters have suggested.

[DrElizabethPlimpton]

I think I should get a present on DS's birthday. I did the hard work after all.

[DoJo]

children have to learn that it's not always all about them

But surely they do, when it's their birthday and their sibling gets a present too? I don't really understand the ire that it seems to inspire in people (only one child myself so completely undecided as to whether I would do it or not), but I am surprised that people believe that what happens on one day a year will make that much difference to the way a child turns out in the long run.

[INickedAName]

Oops, just noticed original OP is Septemer.

[INickedAName]

It was my dn 1st bday not too long ago, when we turned up there were two piles of gifts, one for bday girl and another for her sister. I felt a bit shit and awkward but wasn't planning on buying another gift, didn't know it was expected, I can't afford it and would have said so if I was asked, it didn't go down well, it's DN1 bday a few weeks after anyway, again I'm expected to buy both dn1 and dn2 a gift. I'm not, and I know it will be turned into me being a bitch treating dd1 differently as she isn't bils, which is absolutely not true, I love her to bits and am very affectionate with her and think of the same as any other DNS.etc, in fact giving her extra gifts would be treating her differently, we just can't afford to do it, and don't think we should have been told to either. If BIL and SIL want to that as a tradition then that's up to them.

Dh likes to keep the peace but I told him if we did that for all DNS then that's 21 bday gifts instead of 9, dh saw my point then, I'd love to spoil the all rotten but don't have the money, this year is vvvv tight. My time and cuddles are free though, they have unlimited amounts of that.

[18yearstooold]

No, my MIL does though and it drives me up the wall -I asked her to stop so she just did it behind my back instead

It was only ever something small but that was not the point, it's not their birthday!

[Nancy66]

never. it really irritates me when people do this. Learning to share and understand that other children get presents and have birthdays and it's not all about them is an important part of growing up.

[WalkWithTheLonelyOnes]

I never saw my nan very often but when I did she would always bring small gift. Usually the freebie make up testers she got with her expensive face creams for me and a massive bag of coins for my sister. So when she came down for birthdays se would still bring them.

So on my birthdays my sister gets a huge bag of coins and on my sister's birthday I'd get a bag of miniature makeup bits.

[NancyRaygun]

ummm I do! I buy one small gift for the other sibling on birthdays. Just something for them to unwrap too. Mine are only little so I might not continue it but I just though it was nice. I also buy for the siblings of close friends DC who are having a birthday (if that makes sense), but literally a token thing like a Peppa colouring book or something.

[SarahLDixon00]

I wouldn't do that. I usually give gift only to my child who is celebrating her/his birthday.

[Bambambini]

No

[NoodleOodle]

I only had one DC so it didn't come up but, no I wouldn't do unbirthday presents.

My family didn't do it with me and my siblings. I'm not bothered by what other families do though and knew families who did when I was growing up.

[LoonytoadQuack]

No. It's ridiculous.

[Ludways]

No, it's not their special day. They get their own days, end of.

[YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually]

I posted this on another thread but it seems quite apt, so....

I can beat the madness of buying someone else a gift on your birthday (wtf?!)

I dropped into conversation with my mum that it was almost a year to the day since we got our cat, and she replied.....

"Oh I remembered, I've got her a present but I haven't wrapped it up yet

I love my mum.

[middlings]

Funnily enough I was having this conversation with DM and DMIL this weekend as it was DD2's first birthday. They were both very pleased to hear we wouldn't be doing this. I think it's important for the DDs to learn that there are days that are special for other people. DD1 (who is only 2.4) was a lovely big sister yesterday. Handed over her present with aplomb, sang happy birthday, told everyone we met it was her sister's birthday. we had one episode of envy but she found a solution by going and finding DD2's favourite ball and giving it to her which meant DD2 dropped the present with which DD1 wanted to play!

I have a colleague who does it, and I think it's odd TBH.

You stick to your guns OP.

[cherrybombxo]

I'd find it strange - each child also gets their own birthday so they don't need to gatecrash their sibling's day!

[hazeyjane]

I also just have to add, they are generous and never jealous of each other's gift (well ds is a bit, but he doesn't quite get that he doesn't own everything!) and the dd's will often give their brother a gift of theirs to open and help each other open presents.

[hazeyjane]

We do, and I didn't realise it was such a big deal! The other 2 always get a small 'non birthday' present, usually something really little that the birthday child gets too. They always really love the bit where they all get to open their non birthday gift!

[ithoughtofitfirst]

I have wondered about this... i only have the 1 dc atm so i don't know but i really don't think i would. Say if you all go for a nice meal or to the cinema then the sibling would have a nice day by default right?! I don't think my parents did it either. It's not really the done thing here i don't think i know anyone who does it.

[RabbitSaysWoof]

I think I totally get where your coming from surfsup that a chunk of your childhood revolved around preventing your sister crying, now shes still a brat because she never actually got around to developing that side of herself that could make her happy for others is that right?

[MrsEames]

I have never, EVER heard of this! No, I don't it's not their birthday, why would they get a present on someone elses birthday!?