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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do some people say 'I don't like children'?

224 replies

lottieandmia · 16/08/2014 12:21

And what is the reason? I ask this because my dad didn't like children, he still doesn't and yet he actively decided to become a parent. And then he never had any time for me. I think this is wrong, personally.

When I hear people say they don't like children I find this a bit odd, because generally I find that I warm to other people's children as well as my own and I have a lot of patience I think.

I also would never date a man who said he didn't like children. AIBU?

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 16/08/2014 12:23

Yanbu

The only person I know who has said they don't like children, any of them, is a man. He is also the biggest wanker I have ever met. Fortunately no woman has been foolish enough to have a child with him so he remains childless.

Nanny0gg · 16/08/2014 12:24

In answer to your first question - because they don't.
It's that simple. You like them others don't.

Why such people then have children I really don't know. Hope over experience I expect.

VeryLittleGravitasIndeed · 16/08/2014 12:26

Why is it compulsory to like children? I don't like most children, although I do love my own DD.

I agree though that if you don't like any children it's not right to have one.

beccajoh · 16/08/2014 12:26

Do you like every adult you meet too? For the most part I don't like other people's children, with some exceptions of course. I find them a bit irritating. I like my own children, though. I like smaller children - babies and young toddlers.

Smilesandpiles · 16/08/2014 12:27

I don't like children.

Why? Because I've got two of the bloody things. Didn't bleddy learn the first time did I? Grin

ilovesooty · 16/08/2014 12:27

My sister chose to become a parent. She never warmed to other people's children. I'm not a parent. I warm to some children and not others. I honestly don't find babies very interesting but was close to my niece once she was old enough to communicate. I think making the sweeping generalisation that you don't like children is a bit strange.

Fabulous46 · 16/08/2014 12:28

I don't like other people's children but adore my own. I like mine even more now they're grown up.

500smiles · 16/08/2014 12:31

I worship / adore / love my children, they are my very favourite people on this earth.

I don't always like other people's children, I tolerate my DCs friends for their sake but I know some quite spirited children who are, quite frankly, a pita and I don't like them.

Meloria · 16/08/2014 12:32

They ask irritating questions, they're a lot of work, they take up a lot of time, you can't have a proper discussion with them most of the time, you have to do things they enjoy, they are dirty, they have shrill little voices...the list of reasons I don't like children is endless.

Fudgeface123 · 16/08/2014 12:33

I don't like children which is why I've chosen not to have any

ArabellaTarantella · 16/08/2014 12:35

YABU. I don't like children - especially other people's! I had one of my own and he was great.

A lot of people don't like children because the parents have brought them up to be spoiled, noisy, demanding brats.

Original poster
lottieandmia · 16/08/2014 12:35

I agree as much as anyone that children can be tiring but when people generally say they don't like children I find myself wondering if they are just emotionally a bit cold. It's like when people say they don't like animals. I think we might all have a private thought that our children or other people's are getting on our nerves but to say out loud, especially to people who have chIldren themselves seems odd to me iyswim. Recently someone who works all day with children told me they don't like them. And I thought that was very odd.

OP posts:
Notso · 16/08/2014 12:36

I think this is like the "I don't like women" thing.
It is daft to announce you dislike entire sections of the population.

Original poster
lottieandmia · 16/08/2014 12:37

I don't know any children who are brats. None at all - maybe I'm lucky? Whenever my kids have friends over I always think how lovely they are.

OP posts:
slackcabbage · 16/08/2014 12:39

YANBU

Agree op and Notso - people would look at you if you were mad if you pronounced "I don't like adults". It's a thoughtless comment (literally).

MrsDavidBowie · 16/08/2014 12:39

I'm not keen on small children. Noisy and needy. Avoid at all costs.
Prefer teenagers.

mommy2ash · 16/08/2014 12:39

I love my dd and even though I never thought it would I found being a mother came very naturally to me. in General I don't like other peoples children. I have zero patience

Thenapoleonofcrime · 16/08/2014 12:40

It's a 'thing' in the UK, to profess not to like children. I don't know why, I feel about it like I feel about the 'I don't like women' people, it's a bit of an odd thing to say. Of course I don't like every child but in general, children are just little adults and I don't hate all of them.

Many of the people who I know who say they don't like children but they love their own actually don't like being parents very much. This doesn't seem to be true of all, but if you really hate children's company/culture/everything about them, it seems to me unlikely that you'll love the experience of parenting/the company of your own. I'm not doubting they love them, but liking the lifestyle is something else and not everyone is into that (including those who say nothing on the matter).

I generally like most children though, and I mostly like the people I meet. I don't tend to have friends who hate great swathes of groups or experiences, we all just seem to not mind the types of people/children we encounter.

LokiBear · 16/08/2014 12:40

I never understand why anyone makes a blanket statement like that. As a parent I find it annoying when people say it to me. 'Oh you've got a kid? I don't like kids'. What am I supposed to say in response? I'd never be so rude as to say 'oh you will change your mind' and saying 'well I do' just seems like I'm going to get into an argument. Unless we are planning to have a child together, I really don't need to know if you like them or not!

Dolallytats · 16/08/2014 12:41

Maybe the question shouldn't be 'why do some people say they don't like children? (because they don't) but 'why do people who don't like children then go on to become parents? To that question I have no answer, nor do I understand why they do it.

Sorry your dad was one of those.

capant · 16/08/2014 12:41

I know a childless woman who says this. she spent her own childhood raising her many younger brothers and sisters. What she really means, is she doesn't like parenting. She did too much of it when she should have been being a child herself.

icanmakeyouicecream · 16/08/2014 12:41

YANBU.

Blanket statements like that are just cringey.

ilovesooty · 16/08/2014 12:42

I know quite a few children whose parents allow them to behave in such a way that the results make the children impossible to like.

slackcabbage · 16/08/2014 12:43

No two children are the same. Most I meet are delightful too!

I'm deeply suspicious of people who say "they don't like children" or any other section of society. It usually means they don't have the imagination, or simply can't be bothered, to look at the world from another person's point of view.

MsJupiter · 16/08/2014 12:46

I work with a lot of arty, bohemian people who mostly declare that they dislike children. It's kind of a badge of honour to show how different they are, disliking something universally thought of as cute and innocent and showing how far they are from bourgeois ideas of family. I think when I was younger I did similar, at least professing indifference to them, so I can see what they are doing quite clearly and quietly laugh at them, as I'm sure others did with me years ago.

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