Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do some people say 'I don't like children'?

224 replies

lottieandmia · 16/08/2014 12:21

And what is the reason? I ask this because my dad didn't like children, he still doesn't and yet he actively decided to become a parent. And then he never had any time for me. I think this is wrong, personally.

When I hear people say they don't like children I find this a bit odd, because generally I find that I warm to other people's children as well as my own and I have a lot of patience I think.

I also would never date a man who said he didn't like children. AIBU?

OP posts:
insanityscratching · 16/08/2014 17:04

I say "I don't like children" in the main to avoid people foisting their children on me in social situations tbh. It's assumed that because I have had five children of my own then I must be some Earth Mother who would love to nurse their babies, amuse their toddlers, talk with their children when in fact I don't want to amuse their children when I don't have to amuse my own.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 16/08/2014 17:10

The whole Italian thing is a complete red herring. Italian children, generally, are indulged and spoiled to within an inch of their lives....until the point that they get a thump round the head. Parents routinely hit, teachers routinely hit. Teachers call kids stupid.

I dislike some kids the same as I dislike some adults. I find far far weirder the people who say "I love kids" unanimously. That is just bonkers.unless spoken by a miss world contestant in which case it's obligatory..

riverboat1 · 16/08/2014 17:13

I just wanted to say to OP that I'm sorry your dad wasn't there for you enough. That is horrible.

I think judging from the responses on this thread and my own experience us 'we don't like children' people are maybe not generally as extreme as your dad.

CynosJuno · 16/08/2014 17:35

I'm not particularly into children. I wouldn't say I hate or wish them any harm like Stratters sis. I don't like being around them maybe because I don't like mess, noise or mucky hands on my clothes. I like to do what I want, go out, go on holiday, eat, sleep when I want.

I knew from very early on that I didn't want any and luckily my husband is the same and I was sterilised in my early 30's. I could not be with a man who wanted children.

Not interested in baby bore mothers either who can only talk about their kids.Yawn.

trufflesnout · 16/08/2014 17:37

Yy cage I am an introvert too. I am v lucky that DD (still only small) is quiet and easy going. She will definitely be my only though. Can relate to what panda says too

FunLovinBunster · 16/08/2014 17:48

I don't like children much.
I don't like dogs.
I don't like horses.

lauriebear · 16/08/2014 17:53

with notso it's akin to I don't like women it's too sweeping to be true in every case and pretty thoughtless/unengaging with reality. /i dont enjoy the company of most people/children cats etc prob a more accurate descriptor for most.

SolidGoldBrass · 16/08/2014 18:02

I am far more unsettled by the sort of people who won't go anywhere without their children and insist on inflicting them on other people and go all catsbumfaced at any adult who actually wants to spend some time without the company of children. Generally these people have stunted imaginations as well as massive egos - they aren't interested in intellectual conversation or sophisticated entertainment (anything beyond the comprehension of a four year old) or even just a bit of peace and quiet. These are the fucknuggets who insist on bringing their noisy, wriggly toddler to someone else's wedding and simpering brightly round at everyone else while their offspring howls throughout the ceremony and does a massive, vile-smelling shit in its nappy that nearly gasses the other guests. They are the sort who take their kids to a museum or art gallery and allow them to poke and sneeze on and climb all over the exhibits, and get all arsy when challenged.

And whoever upthread said, adults who don't like children resent not being the centre of attention, well there are times when an adult is entitled to be the centre of attention eg when that adult is performing (music, theatre, dance, poetry) for an audience who have come to see the adult, not some random kids roaring and rampaging around the place.

Original poster
lottieandmia · 16/08/2014 18:04

I never saw any of the Italian kids I knew thumped around the head, personally Confused. I'm sure Italians are not perfect parents but they don't generally seem to have the attitude that children are a PITA.

The thing is that children grow up eventually into adults you can converse with. I guess mine are not all the whiny and I find them good company most of the time.

But really my issues is not with people not being good with or not liking kids but saying it. Why is there any need?

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmia · 16/08/2014 18:06

SGB - that sounds very bitter. Maybe people take their wriggly toddler to a wedding because otherwise they can't go - did you think of that??

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 16/08/2014 18:06

I'm not defined by my children,I don't like all children.sometimes other folk kids annoy me

Original poster
lottieandmia · 16/08/2014 18:07

And no I don't think women were all put on the earth to have babies Confused

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 16/08/2014 18:10

I think there is a difference between not liking children in the moment eg they are being incredibly irritating to fundamentally disliking them all.

The man I mentioned in my first post dislikes everyone under the age of 35 and is quite openly rude to children. Even ones who aren't being annoying.

SGB have you considers that those "fucknuggets" children were invited to the weddings you mention? You know, the weddings that aren't all about you? Hmm

scottishmummy · 16/08/2014 18:11

I actually agree with sgb post.in particular kids indulged at galleries,climbing exhibits

pandarific · 16/08/2014 18:12

Well, sometimes there is a need to say it - for example, when the talk in general is babies/kids/babies/kids and then people turn to you - at this point you say 'er, I'm not really a kid person/not really into kids' or similar to signify that really, you're not very interested in them - or in talking about them.

Original poster
lottieandmia · 16/08/2014 18:12

I'm quite surprised at the number of people on a parenting website who admit they don't like children. That's not a dig btw I'm genuinely surprised.

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 16/08/2014 18:12

I agree with the bit about children at galleries etc too.

Original poster
lottieandmia · 16/08/2014 18:13

Children are entitled to go to museums as much as anyone else and have been avoid for so you don't have any right to say they can't go. If they don't go they will never get used to them or appreciate them.

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmia · 16/08/2014 18:14

Paid for*

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmia · 16/08/2014 18:14

However, I don't let my children climb over stuff. Clearly that's the parenting that's an issue there.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 16/08/2014 18:19

No their not entitled to go to museum,they go on expectation good behaviour

Gingermum · 16/08/2014 18:21

I don't see the point in coming out with it. How on earth are you supposed to reply to: 'I don't like children.' It's a total 'look at meeeeee' conversation stopper. Strangely enough the only person I've ever met who did say that was standing next to me and my four year old daughter.

Even worse though are those twats who smirk and say: 'I like children. Couldn't eat a whole one though . . . oh ho ho ho.'

flyingtrue · 16/08/2014 18:22

I like most children that I know and certainly none I've randomly seen have pissed me off, if anything I've thought their parents were twatish- especially the dad who let his 'angel' pick up cans from the beans shelf and throw them in peoples direction. The kid was young, dad didn't bother to stop her, his fault and not hers at least while she's so young.

The only child I actively dislike is the one who bites for pleasure, just to hurt people. When he clamped jaws down on me and refused to let go he was very very surprised that my DN - 3 years younger- clocked him around the head to get him to stop. Love my DN, dislike the kid, hated the tetanus shot.

And my friend who 'dislikes kids' only says that to the parents who are really shit and useless, whose kids no one wants around because of how terrible the parental discipline has been.

Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon · 16/08/2014 18:31

I don't like horribly behaved children (more so their oblivious parents), I think most people who say they dislike children are just thinking of all the badly parented little shits that are allowed to run around restaurants yelling their heads off. It's easy to assume that all children are gormless, irritating creatures when the ones who insist on getting your attention always are. People love/hate children according to how the locals parent.

I always hated kids until I lived in France for a while and realised that not all children are awful, that properly parented ones can be delightful and charming. Many of the children were so lovely I became broody after years of being militantly child free.

toomuchtooold · 16/08/2014 18:31

I have a particular itchy dislike of people who say "I like older children, I just don't like little ones". Totally agree with the sentiment, but why do they think they are telling us anything? It seems to be worn as a badge of honour for some, marking them out from the common run of people and definitely marking them different to shudder mums, but actually most mums of toddlers I know are marking off the days till their kids go to school...