Why do some people say 'I don't like children'?

[lottieandmia]

And what is the reason? I ask this because my dad didn't like children, he still doesn't and yet he actively decided to become a parent. And then he never had any time for me. I think this is wrong, personally.

When I hear people say they don't like children I find this a bit odd, because generally I find that I warm to other people's children as well as my own and I have a lot of patience I think.

I also would never date a man who said he didn't like children. AIBU?

I feel the same about people who will make a blanket statement about not liking any vast group of something.
It seems such a short sighted thing to say.
I can understand people saying they don't like badly behaved children, they don't want to be a parent, they worked in to all female offices and didn't like it, they are scared of dogs or they can't stand the people on Geordie Shore
To condense that down into I don't like children/Women/Animals/Geordies seems particularly narrow minded.
I have found that most people who make statements along those lines are not really people I want to spend much time with.

I joined because although it was intended to be for parents there are a lot of subjects in the chat area that have nothing to do with kids at all. Many other sites/people on the t'interweb talk about Mumsnet being of interest. Relationships, Weightloss, Mental health aren't issues that only effect parents so I think that's why so many childless people sign up & go on to skip threads relating to children/pregnancy.

I understand, truffles. I don't feel any emotion when presented with a baby, and often wonder why I am expected to somehow know what to do because I am female. I'm finding that attitude is less common these days, though.

Some of my friends' kids are great, and I have great fun with them. Others I just don't click with. Same as any other group of people, then.

Annoying phone. I'm not sure why anyone would have children if they actively dislike all children.

I know someone who says she 'doesn't like children' in response to some parents who ask why she hosts only adult only evenings and days. It's actually not that she doesn't like kids and if someone outside this friendship group asked her (like us at work) she'd say she just really doesn't like these kids. The parents in question are so precious about their spoilt children that they just let them do what they want, sadly all the people within the friendship group don't want to rock the boat so instead of being honest about the PITA parenting when out my friend opts for 'i don't like kids'.

i used to not like children because i hadn't spent much time with them.as an adult and the child i know best was me and it was a brat

I just find it odd that people who don't like children would end up on a parenting website in the first place.

I wound up here by searching for some advice on my child's fussy eating habits. I searched that on Google and went through the hits it came back with. MN seemed like a safe bet, being a parenting website.

If I searched for fussy eater and it offered me a website on football I wouldn't bother with that website, regardless of whether fussy eating was mentioned on there because I'd think 'hmm, that's a website about football, there's a good chance that website might be about football and I don't really like football'.

That's what I don't get. How have people who actively state that they don't like children wound up here to begin with? Surely if you don't like something you'd rather avoid a website with a philosophy of being about that thing? And what kind of advice are you going to get on a parenting website from someone who doesn't like children?

I'm not talking about people who don't have children (I know plenty of those on here) but to actively dislike children yet join a website dedicated to parenting? The mind truly boggles.

I love mine, not keen on other peoples, I find them irritating but I do like dogs!

I've cross-posted with a few people there. Just to point out again, I'm only talking about people who dislike children. It seems a very odd choice to me.

I used to love all children.

I had five of my own.

I don't really like other people's children now! but I do like my own.

I love my own children, I have five, I can't say that I'm that fond of other people's though. My youngest is eleven and I have noticed that as I get older I like children less and less.

I have 2 DC of my own who I like (most of the time anyway!) but I don't particularly like children in general. In fact, screaming, shouting, badly behaved ones I actively dislike. I should add I equally dislike screaming, shouting badly behaved adults so it's not some child-related prejudice!

Until I had DC of my own if I walked into a shop/pub/restaurant where there was a screaming/crying infant I would leave immediately, because the sheer noise irritated the hell out of me.

I am an only child and grew up in a very quiet house. Children's noise/noise in general (but somehow worse with children because they tend to be quite loud) is something I still find difficult to tolerate.

That said I do also like babies, up to about 6-7 months, when they're just little bundles that will happily be cuddled and squished. Not so good once they get older and wriggly (and noisier!).

I don't like children, but that for me came with age. I have 2 DC's, 16 and 21. Love them both to bits but by the time they reached 9/10 I realised that I'd lost patience for small children.

I'm 40 now, still in the realms of one last child I suppose but the thought horrifies me. I don't have the patience for them, really don't like them and although I occasionally look after a friends child when she goes I'm very much 'ahhhhhhh thank god thats over'.

Then again I find most people irritating. I've said to DH for years my ambition in life is to build a hermitage and bugger everyone

Before I had kids I would get off a bus and walk rather than listen to a child yelling, nowadays I glare and look judgey!

I reckon when a lot of people say this they really mean 'I'm not very interested in children' - from a female pov I think it comes from it being expected of you to have an emotional response to babies/children in general, even when you're not remotely involved and are no relation - e.g. being expected to go all cooey and emotional when someone's brought a baby to a gathering, or something. And then following up with intrusive questions about whether or not you plan to reproduce.

Personally I really don't like being expected to feel or respond a certain way purely because of my gender - the assumption annoys me, so I might have said something like this once or twice. In short: I'm sure it's just general arsiness, not an expression of sociopathy.

I would be interested to know how many of the people who 'don't like children' would classify themselves as introverted.

I'm introverted and for as long as I can remember I have hated the way that you have to sort of take the lead with babies/toddlers. I can remember as a kid being expected to coo over the neighbours baby dgd who was plonked on my lap and feeling horribly exposed and not up to scratch. I knew I was supposed to make noises and jiggle her about but it felt incredibly unnatural. I also struggle with the noise and intensity and whereas adults tend to pick up on where your boundaries are, toddlers don't so much and I find that quite hard. I don't like dogs much either but I like cats and I think that is because they don't expect anything in the way of conversation.

It's not no much that I don't like children, but that I don't have any tolerance for or patience with them.

I also find it easier to say "I don't like children" than "Just because I have a child does not mean I want to spend the next hour interacting with yours while everyone else leaves me to get on with it."

TheCage, I always knew I didn't want children and I think a big part of that is my extreme introversion. I just couldn't be engaging with someone all day long. The kids I get on with are the quiet ones who like reading and digging and exploring on their own, like I did. But seems like these days you're not allowed to leave children to amuse themselves

I just couldn't be engaging with someone all day long

I am currently hiding in my bedroom. Introverted ds1 is in his room reading. The others are trashing the house, loudly and ostentatiously. I have spent time with them but I need to punctuate it with some time on my own. I admit I'm glad they are at the age where I don't have to be with them every minute.

I love my dd with a ferocity unlike anything I have ever felt before.

Other people's kids... Nah, not so much.

I have found there is often a direct correlation between how much I like the parents and how much I like their children. My best friends child is very sweet and lovely to me, whereas my annoying neighbour's child is... well, annoying!

I've been teaching for 7 years and absolutely love the kids I teach; they're hilarious and enthusiastic and wonderful!

I could never have any of my own though - I like peace and quiet in the evenings and am a bit anti social at times. I do get stressed when out and about when I see children not being properly supervised, causing havoc in pubs/shops, etc.

Sometimes, when I feel a bit down about how child/family-central society seems to be, I look on those forums where child free people chat. They are AWFUL though - women with children are "vile breeders" and "stupid moos" etc. and quite frankly the posters seem more than a little fucked up.

I like a lot of children, but I like children in groups far, far less than I have ever done since having my own DC. I'm shocked, really, at how gratuitously spiteful they can be. I'm willing to accept that if I knew them within their family setting I'd like quite a number of them, but that's not how I know them. I know them in a context that seems to bring out their vile worst.

I think the 'I don't like children' line is just a shortcut to signal that you're not generally very interested in spending time with or talking about children. I don't think it means you don't want children of your own, or that you literally don't like any children at all.

I've certainly said it before, but it doesn't mean I run away screaming from all children or definitively don't want any of my own (though the jury is still out there tbh )

You sound like my MIL. She thinks that women have only been put on this earth to have children and nurture them. She thinks all babies are beautiful.

We aren't all like you. I love DD to bits, but in general I don't particularly enjoy being around children. They are hard work and intrusive, and quite frankly not very interesting to me. I don't think all babies are beautiful either. Some are and some aren't - just like people. I am just not maternal at all. I would absolutely hate to work with children.

When I was told it was unlikely I would ever get pregnant I wasn't particularly bothered. I thought that feeling desperate and disappointed my entire adult life would be rather pointless and destructive, so I just got on with it and saw it as an opportunity to do things I might not be able to do if I had had children.

Before DD was born we deliberately went on holiday to places that weren't child friendly, ate in restaurants that weren't child friendly and visited places that weren't child orientated.

I unexpectedly got pregnant at 41 and everything changed when DD was born. Now that she is a teenager she doesn't like babies and small children and hates it when I express an interest in my friends children.

I can't understand why people think all adults have to like children.

Totally agree Bunbaker.

I agree with what riverboat1 said