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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend walked out of restaurant without paying

456 replies

GermanHouseCat · 31/07/2014 20:13

NC for this. Long time MNetter, been on the site for years. Promise!

I went out last night with a friend and his brother and girlfriend. The friend lives abroad and is back for a few days so it was a nice chance to see him.

They had already eaten when I arrived (an independent gastro bar with table service) and then together we had a round of drinks before planning to move on to another bar.

We asked for the bill, which included the total of the food/drinks they had before I arrived and then the one round of drinks we had together.

When it arrived, friend said "let's just walk out, shall we?" Before I could even fathom what he meant, his DB and GF had agreed and they stood up and walked out.

I was completely Shock Shock and had to make a split second decision about what to do. The bill was large and I couldn't afford to pay it all - nor felt morally at the time that I should - I put the money on the table for my drink and left feeling mortified.

I am usually very assertive but I was just so shocked I didn't know how to handle it. I'm ashamed to admit it but I didn't call them up on it (they were all so cool about doing it) so en route to the next bar I feigned illness and came home.

It can't be a money thing, DF and his GF both have very good jobs, the brother is working.

AIBU to be absolutely mortified at being part of this? I feel that they have implicated me in this and any repercussions. Should I have paid the lot? Should I call the bar and give them DF's details?

OP posts:
Original poster
GermanHouseCat · 31/07/2014 20:50

To make things worse I have a job where I have to be squeaky clean. We are criminal record checked every month.

I am going to call the bar now. What should I say? Should I call the police too?

OP posts:
SorryForTheTypos · 31/07/2014 20:51

I've been sorely tempted to do this - when I've been waiting AGES to pay my bill and have been ignored, but you'd never actually do it would you?

I definitely wouldn't go anywhere with them again.

Icimoi · 31/07/2014 20:53

Are you telling them why you're dropping them? Or asked them to pay so you don't have to go to the police?

Passmethecrisps · 31/07/2014 20:55

Just call the bar - leave them to call the police.

What a shitty situation.

I don't carry a credit card and at certain times of the month there is no way I would have the cash to cover a meal for 4 people (was it 4?). They put you in a terrible position and are clearly total arseholes

ObfusKate · 31/07/2014 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BreadForBrains · 31/07/2014 21:00

Just call and explain exactly what happened. That you only had a drink, they scarpered, you paid foe what you had but didn't pay their share.
Do you have an address/phone number for the brother?

ColdTeaAgain · 31/07/2014 21:03

Just give the bar their details and explain you paid for your drink. Up to them if they want to contact police about it.

They sound like the kind of people you really don't need in your life, they probably think it was just a laugh and doesn't effect anyone. Arrogant twats.

phantomnamechanger · 31/07/2014 21:07

are they decent enough people for there not to be any nasty repercussions if you "drop them in it" - will they try to make out it was some innocent mistake or tell people you dropped them in it?

phantomnamechanger · 31/07/2014 21:08

sorry if that's not clear, I'm just assuming anyone that low must be a really horrible nasty person with no redeeming features, so why would you be friends in the first place.

Original poster
GermanHouseCat · 31/07/2014 21:13

Called them, waiting for the manager to call back.

OP posts:
Gruntfuttock · 31/07/2014 21:15

ThatBloodyWoman "I wouldn't tell on them, just wouldn't eat out with them again."

Why wouldn't you tell on them?

matildasquareded · 31/07/2014 21:17

Yeah, I just plain couldn't afford to pay for dinner for four, credit card or no credit card.

I like to think I'd have shouted, "Hey, pay for your food!" but honestly I'd have been so astonished I'd have wandered out of the restaurant too, like, "What? Were they joking?"

A couple of male colleagues did this to me and some other female co-workers. We were having a big lunch for our department, everyone ordering their own food at a restaurant. I was at a table with two women from my dept. Two guys from another department shared our table, had a nice chat with us over lunch, then got up and headed out the door just after we got the bill.

I caught their eyes as they walked away and said, "Hey, the company isn't paying, we're all paying for our own dishes."

THEY KEPT WALKING!

One of my co-workers just got out her purse and took out more cash. The other bellowed, "HELLO, WE'RE NOT PAYING FOR YOUR FOOD."

We went and spoke to their boss afterwards.

These were people we worked with. What morons.

hmc · 31/07/2014 21:18

Well done GermanHouseCat

Original poster
GermanHouseCat · 31/07/2014 21:21

matilda Shock

What did their manager say?!

This kind of thing is a gift in disguise really - in one moment you see a snapshot of someone's real character.

OP posts:
littlewhitebag · 31/07/2014 21:22

Well done OP for doing the right thing. Your friends are complete and utter shits and need to know they can't get away with doing this.

Rainbunny · 31/07/2014 21:23

OP - will you see them before they leave? I would talk directly to them and ask them to make it right before they leave. I'm sure they'll laugh it off but at least you have let them know your opinion and given them a chance to do the right thing.

If I was on facebook with them I'd be tempted to write a post detailing what happened, I wouldn't mention names of course... But that would be passive aggressive so I know I wouldn't do it of course. I'd be very tempted though.

ThatBloodyWoman · 31/07/2014 21:24

Because I'd rather discuss it with them, because, at least once, they were friends Grunt.

EthicalPickle · 31/07/2014 21:28

GoodLuck GermamHouseCat I'm waiting nervously for an update. Smile

Nessalina · 31/07/2014 21:28

I can't believe people really do that! They must have done it before and got away with it or they'd never have been so slick about it. What tossers to put you in that situation! You're right to speak to the restaurant, you'll only dwell on it otherwise!

cerealqueen · 31/07/2014 21:32

I think I would have asked them to rectify the situation by paying and if they said no, then called the restaurant/police.

The fact they left you in the restaurant last and potentially with the blame means they are not your friends.

ILickPicnMix · 31/07/2014 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chesterberry · 31/07/2014 21:35

I imagine they can force you with the threat of arrest, ILickPicnMix; either you name the other people or you take the blame yourself.

ShadowFall · 31/07/2014 21:36

Good luck with the restaurant.

Ringing them is definitely the right thing to do, especially if you need to be squeaky clean for work.

I'm shocked that they had the cheek to not only do that, but to drag you into it as well.

trufflehunterthebadger · 31/07/2014 21:38

it's called Dine and Dash

Actually it's called making off without payment and is part of the theft act

ThatBloodyWoman · 31/07/2014 21:40

They couldn't force you to tell -they could be people you know by first name only, after all.

It would be up to you to show you had a separate order, which you paid for.Which may be hard.

I suspect they might arrest you and take you down the nick while they investigated.

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