Friend walked out of restaurant without paying

[GermanHouseCat]

NC for this. Long time MNetter, been on the site for years. Promise!

I went out last night with a friend and his brother and girlfriend. The friend lives abroad and is back for a few days so it was a nice chance to see him.

They had already eaten when I arrived (an independent gastro bar with table service) and then together we had a round of drinks before planning to move on to another bar.

We asked for the bill, which included the total of the food/drinks they had before I arrived and then the one round of drinks we had together.

When it arrived, friend said "let's just walk out, shall we?" Before I could even fathom what he meant, his DB and GF had agreed and they stood up and walked out.

I was completely and had to make a split second decision about what to do. The bill was large and I couldn't afford to pay it all - nor felt morally at the time that I should - I put the money on the table for my drink and left feeling mortified.

I am usually very assertive but I was just so shocked I didn't know how to handle it. I'm ashamed to admit it but I didn't call them up on it (they were all so cool about doing it) so en route to the next bar I feigned illness and came home.

It can't be a money thing, DF and his GF both have very good jobs, the brother is working.

AIBU to be absolutely mortified at being part of this? I feel that they have implicated me in this and any repercussions. Should I have paid the lot? Should I call the bar and give them DF's details?

"I'm surprised at the level of disbelief over people intentionally doing this sort of thing."

Why? I don't know anyone who would do this. I am not dishonest and neither are my friends and family.

If you are so surprised it makes me want to question what sort of people you associate with.

I can believe that someone would do this.Either as a dare /thrill or because they cant afford the meal . But What im struggling with is someone with a good income doing this and including their innocent friend.

Surely even someone with the smallest of wits would think that maybe they would be caught or at least challenged by the staff and that the innocent party would be included.

Even more horrible if that friend has a job that demands a squeaky clean criminal record on a monthly basis. What a potential price to pay for a quiet drink with an old friend.

I hope they get arrested, it's theft.

I'm still waiting for them to call me back. I suppose it's a busy Thursday night in the bar.

There is absolutely no way that the bill was secretly paid. I didn't leave the table, they were still finishing their food when I arrived and the bill had the full amount on.

I am flicking between and

I would say it is the end of the friendship. If it is done for a thrill or a kick they are pathetic. I would have nothing more to do with them, telling them it was theft and you are disgusted.

I once accidentally left my local (soon not to be, we were moving 100 miles away the following day) after running up a huge food and drinks tab. I was pissed.

Went back and paid the next day when I'd realised. Also has to shame-facedly return a bar stool a drunken friend in attendance had liberated as a "moving present" that we'd woken up to discover still in our flat.

Think they were glad we were moving.

But to walk out deliberately is awful. As someone said above, the waiting staff for that table may be held responsible and have their (probably not generous) wages docked. Also, it's just a fundamentally shitty thing to do to steal when you have no reason to do so. A starving person robbing a loaf of bread I could forgive, but a bunch of wealthy people refusing to pay for their meal for a laugh (or something)?! Very strange. I wouldn't want to keep company with habitual thieves either, OP.

I don't think insinuating that the OP will have police knocking her door down is helpful - people clearly think the police have far more time than they do. Possible restaurant won't contact the police or very little will be done.

She paid for what she had consumed - you don't take the rap for something you haven't done because the guilty ones can't be found etc.

My ex boss once (very drunk) at end of meal walked out but before that gathered up tablecloth with all the bits like crumbs, glasses, plates etc up like father xmas and walked out with it all. She shamelessly returned everything (all plates etc were washed up by her) the next time and left huge tip and apologies. They were very kind to her and said they thought she'd return.

what ops so called friends have done is awful. Their poor server might be forced to pay for the meals. Op they not friends I'd drop them.

It is not like the police will be pursing a charge of Joint Enterprise.

You've clearly not heard of 'joint enterprise' then NellyNoodle

Why not? Pantone in her post references a restaurant local to her where police used CCTV footage to arrest a group who had dined and dashed. Clearly the police do sometimes take action. OP might as well cover herself by formally reporting (and distancing herself) this incident

What utter shits.
As others have said, this kind of situation gives you a chance to see your friends' true attitude.
Genuinely interested to see what the restaurant say.

Ring back OP

hmc, yep! I'd be phoning restaurant to distance myself from the non payers.

I follow our local police FB page, everyday there are "do you recognise these people" posts, mostly shoplifters/pickpockets. The restaurant one was a group of four people who did the same as OPs "friends". CCTV close ups of all of them .

I used to work in a pub which charged the serving staff for customer walk outs.

Several people have already mentioned it, but it is not a victimless crime. My friend used to work for Ask pizza and they also made their servers out of their wages if anyone made off without paying.

I would not be contacting the bar/reporting them though, I think it might make things more complicated and you already paid for yours, so morally you are in the clear.

I would not associate with those people again. What they did was theft and they could have got you in trouble. They sound immature and immoral.

I think you should point out to your "friends" that their free meal was paid for by a waiter/waitress on minimum wage. Hope that makes them feel good about themselves. I would definitely report them to the restaurant.

Bunbaker I associate with average people in the real world.
I don't know quite what is being insinuated here about my acquaintances.Perhaps you'd care to clarify?

I don't need to personally know people who do this to acknowledge that this sort of thing does go on.
I see something other than an Enid Blyton world out there and I make no apology for it.

What a really rotten position to put you in! what if the staff had thought you were part of their scam and stopped you on the way out and called the police???? friends like that are not needed.

Well, I wouldn't be going out with them again. Are they the sort of friends you never hear from until they are gohng to visit the area and need a place to
stay?

I once worked at a restaurant where the server payed for walkouts out of their salary (And not at cost price, either. Full price!) I had a walkout once party of four. (BASTARDS!!!!) And a colleague also. In his case, one of the party came back an hour later and begged forgiveness, offered to pay. She was like you. Mortified afterwards.

There was another thread recently about wearing things once and returning them. An astonishingly large number of posters thought this was fine. I wonder how many of them think this is fine, too?

When they phone back, give the names and addresses of these 'friends' why the fuck should you be out of pocket for their little bit of 'fun' frankly I am shocked at the mumsnetters who are saying you should fork up the cash!?