to be angry at the fact women MUST NOT BE FAT

[MagicMojito]

I'm just so pissed off with the double standards!

I went into primark and there is a whole wall dedicated to "hide your fat" type underware
and I dont just mean Spanx and the like, there were corset type tops, underware leggings to stop the wobble as you walk, a "no more back fat" vest - I shit you not, that's what it said on the label!! Rows and rows of the same type of fat hiding underware in all different styles and colours.

In comparison the men's underware department consisted of three rails, boxer shorts, briefs, socks and vests . Its the same in most shops now (although I was pretty shocked and impressed with such a vast range of products of this style)

In summer all over the tv/magazines its advertising how to get a great bikini body, fab abs, summer holiday slim down etc.

Winter its the little black dress diet for the office Xmas party!! -AIMED ONLY AT WOMEN

Aibu to just think FUCK OFF ALREADY?!
I realise this is nothing new BTW. I just had a realisation that things are only gonna get worse and I feel sad that this is the message that my dds are going to get brought up around

There's a lot of people on here with too much time on their hands.

Funlovin I'm pretty lithe.

that's a nice post Branston. And I'm glad you enjoy your life. So do I - and I reject the need to do something about my "back fat".

What I have noticed is that most of these so called slim you down stuff - shapewear -does not go up to a big size and often starts at an 8 or 10. Ok you can probably be an 8 but have a bit of a pot belly too...but....

I did used to buy those knickers supposed to hold you in. Yeah, they slide down my jelly belly.Great result. Also a lot of the stuff is so hard to put on, I am sweating before I manage it. I have decided not to bother now as I still have a belly showing either way.

Another thing - you can't go out on the pull and wear that stuff!!!!

...and a lot of people with too much fat on their hands...

Come on. Come on. You head it up, I'll nod it in.

Shape wear, does what it says on the tin

This is true. But they are very squashy.

I had to whip my Big Squeezy Knickers off after a couple of hours. Cos my intestines were complaining in the manner you'd expect if I'd wrapped a couple of boa constricters around them.

Going commando was the only option.

I now understand why women were fainting left, right and centre back in the corseted day though. Pretty sure I had cut off a sitnificant degree of blood supply to various, quite important bits of me and breathing wasn't as easy as it normally is.

I'm not entirely sure that squashed insides are a good idea.

I wouldn't mind, but they only had in them in a size larger than I am. God only knows how tight the right size would have been.

I m renaming it "fuck I can barely breath and my colon is protesting wildly" ware. In the name of the trade's description act. Or something.

And some people with too much fat in their heads where their brains should be

branston I (and I bet many overweight people) would love your relationship with food. I really, really would.
But not everyone is in a place in their life where they can reach that. You say yourself it took a terribly sad event to kick start you.
Those people who haven't reached that point don't need this continual shaming.
It shames me that I'm an intelligent woman who knows the risk to my health and look but it still isn't enough to kick start me into changing.

Quangle; I'm sure you don't :) Personally, I am a firm believer in people wearing what makes them confident and comfortable and if shape wear is part of that then I'm not bothered. If it isn't, I'm not bothered either!

My concern is more that obesity has been normalised, promoted even, and almost above criticism, and I don't see that as a good thing at all.

Aww, and you said I was an intellectual..

My issue is WHY there is such a market for it

Same reason as makeup, hair dye, cellulite cream etc etc ad infinitum is marketed at women. Because we are apparently unacceptable in our natural state and need to adjust every single part of our bodies (think about it: list your body parts from the top of your head down to your toes and see if you can find a single one that isn't the focus of at least one "beauty treatment/product") in order to be deemed ok.

Read The Beauty Myth.

We are morally obliged to ourselves to be fit and enjoy life?

Doesn't even make sense

Also, fat in brains is good, no?

""My issue is WHY there is such a market for it""

Because an hour glass figure, flat stomach (in other words a young woman's body) has always been put on a pedestal.

So it's what many want, but tough to maintain as we get older, post birth etc.

I certainly don't accept my changing body, but I don't know if this is because of social conditioning.

Is putting shape wear any worse than spending our leisure time and money exercising to change our shape (not for health).

Go to bed Maid.
You're boring me.

Good comeback.

And it kind of proves my point about the message being EVERYWHERE that women must be perfect/slim/bumpless and lumpless as you would never need to google the products available to women, whereas you have with men.

that doesn't make sense written down the way it does in my head. Anyway, I'm tired and getting more and more het up and confused with every post I write and I'm at risk of losing my argument through stupidity :) it just pisses me right off is all!

Cat, I honestly, honestly completely understand. Food used to dictate every moment of my life. I would restrict it massively and then binge eat. I know how difficult it is. It used to feel, to me, like some other force - like an alien took over my body and I would feel like a shark on a feeding frenzy!

Now, I just think (and I am 100% talking about me here, please, please don't be offended) - that I was spoilt, greedy and lazy. I had that willpower but I exercised not to use it because yummy food was nearby and I WANTED it. Oh my how I wanted it ... And I still do and sometimes I do succumb.

But, recognising this in myself - that fundamentally I am a greedy woman - has been important to me in changing. I do have the occasional blow out but it is occasional. Perhaps more significantly I attempt to reign myself in - I don't think "oh okay had a Mars bar at 10 o clock so might as well have a snickers, a picnic and a caramel too" I have a Mars bar and stop and honestly I never want to stop but I make myself because to do otherwise is gluttonous and I won't be a glutton.

When I was fat, I was still kind, generous, friendly, cheerful and sensible. But on top of those other qualities was another less attractive quality - greed. I've recognised this is not something to be proud of but it doesn't need making into a massive deal either. I just recognise I have a tendency to be greedy and lazy so take steps to ensure they don't take over my life.

Fanjo yes, I think we are.

Obesity, in it's extreme cases, renders people completely physically disabled - can't even MOVE. Obviously most people won't get to that stage but many of the people I go to in my capacity as volunteer are big, and their lives would be so much easier if they were not. You just never know what might happen or when.

But anyway, assuming you have people who love you and who care about you and even if you don't, I think we owe it to ourselves. That might sound garbled but my mum and dad gave up a lot for me and loved me and even though they're no longer alive it would break their hearts if I ended up obese and well - as I was last summer, huffing and puffing to get about, not wanting to walk or enjoy fresh air as it meant moving, eating and eating and eating.

I guess I just think there's more to life!

I think it's a super unhealthy attitude to demonise the eating of food so much Branston,

Eating loads of chocolate is not ideal but doesn't make someone an inferior person who should hate on themselves.

Seriously.

Eat well and be fit because you enjoy it.

Not because to be otherwise is shameful.

Ok you can probably be an 8 but have a bit of a pot belly too...but

I think I'm an 8 or a 10 (size 40 EU).

There's no but about it, you can have a bit of a pot belly at that size.

Especially if the baby you carried 14 years ago was a right heffalump.

Pretty sure he did something catastropic to my tummy muscles. Like spilt one of them in two or something.

Yup. Looks just like one them got broken into two bits vertically.

But then, I think women generally have a bit of a rounded tummy. All our intestine have to go somewhere.

Pus I think age has something to do with it. At 46 I look like my period is due any minute for a good hour or so after I've eaten. Slim I may be. That dos not mean I have "lovely lines" in unforgiving clothes.

However "lovely lines" in unforgiving big squishing knickers just isn't worth it. I need to breathe more than I need to look nicer.

It totally doesn't fanjo - I agree. But I don't think it's demonising food as much as allowing the word greed into our lexis. And I have noticed it's a word we avoid but in most cases,we get fat from eating too much which is greedy.

Someone can be greedy and absolutely, totally lovely. My darling Dad was slim but he was a greedy man! I used to dread going somewhere like the Harvester with him, with a salad buffet or an all you can eat banquet! There were reasons for it in his case: he was lovely but he was a skinflint his logic was he would get his money's worth, even if he got a bellyache as a result!

I suppose just like one of my friends who is a joy but so scatty and disorganised. It doesn't hurt us, although it's mildly annoying if we have to wait for her I suppose, but it leads to problems in her life that could be avoided. Same with obesity I guess. It's absolutely no skin off my nose or my business if somebody is obese but I can't pretend I don't believe their quality of life would be massively improved by weight loss.

Of course I would not dream of being so rude as to verbalise this but nonetheless, obesity, greed, laziness - they are qualities we should try to overcome, not 'accept' as 'well there are worse things.' There are. But I think we're all worth our health!

I am absolutely sick to death of the wealth of threads on here at the moment pearl-clutching over fatness.

It is not concern, it is concern trolling and gleeful wallowing in prejudices.

What Combine said is spot on.

I'm overweight and fat. I'm not ashamed. People try to make me feel bad about it but they can't. I look in the mirror and see a fat unhealthy body. That's a fact, I am fat and unhealthy. But there's no shame. I see a body that grew my baby and coped with all the problems pregnancy caused me (not weight related before anyone says so ). I see a body that bears the signs of emotional overeating to cope with depression and abuse but its the overeating bringing a little happiness that saved that body from suicide. I see a body that contains a happy, friendly, polite, kind, sometimes sarcastic person.

Other people will see a fat cow who can't control her eating, who eats because she is a pig. They'll treat me in a negative way before they've even spoken to me and often after. They feel superior because they aren't as big as me. But they have the problem and not me. I'll lose weight, slowly getting back to a healthy size, when I'm ready. I'll still be the same person. They'll always just be sad, judgement people who put size before personality and see size as a gauge of success.

I suppose it's good in a way that people are so vocal about fat people. It makes the dickheads easier to avoid before any time is invested.