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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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My gob is well and truly smacked - AIBU to think this is the grabbiest thing ever?

214 replies

WhatTheActualFuckIsThis · 20/05/2014 21:02

I received an event invite via Facebook recently, along with roughly 100 other people. No event is actually taking place, it's described as 'virtual'.

It's from a couple who have decided never to get married or have children. They go on to explain they've enjoyed celebrating their friends' big occasions over the years and they consider their recent building work to their house to be the equivalent. A gift list has been attached. There is nothing on the gift list worth less than £30, apart from the option to send a voucher starting from £1.

I should mention that I've never met this couple before. I don't consider them to be friends or even acquaintances. The people invited are mostly from the same tight-knit internet community that has drifted apart in recent years. I've never had so much as a PM or a private conversation with either of them.

I am not alone in my 'WTAF?' moment and a friend who was also invited to the 'event' described it as the exact opposite of when you're invited to a wedding and people say they value presence over presents.

So... I throw it open to you, Mumsnet. Am I being unreasonable in thinking this is the grabbiest thing ever?

OP posts:
spookyskeleton · 20/05/2014 21:03

Shock Shock Shock Shock just wow Shock Shock Shock

greenfolder · 20/05/2014 21:04

grabby or a joke?

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 20/05/2014 21:04

If you don't know them post

"Are you having a bubble?"

And let the mayhem commence

eddielizzard · 20/05/2014 21:04

yanbu. totally weird.

eddielizzard · 20/05/2014 21:04

is it a poem?

TidyDancer · 20/05/2014 21:05

Sounds like they've probably been victim to a fair few grabby brides and grooms over the years and they are fighting back!

They may also have been watching Sex And The City.

I sort of admire their cheek tbh.

LoveBomber · 20/05/2014 21:05

Nooooooo.

Surely it's a joke?

WhatTheActualFuckIsThis · 20/05/2014 21:07

Oh, it's not a joke. Someone posted on the event to ask if they'd understood - along the lines of 'So you're not having a party for everyone, but are you at least having a party?'. They replied saying they are not having a party because they've no space.

OP posts:
MagnaCharge · 20/05/2014 21:07

Hmm wow. And you have never even met them? How utterly bizarre.

Arky · 20/05/2014 21:07

It sounds like a joke.

MargotLovedTom · 20/05/2014 21:09

Why would you be invited to contribute if you don't even know them? Confused

It's not like they've forked out to come to your wedding/christenings/birthday parties/anything in the past. Hardly redressing the balance!

I think I'd reply saying that actually.

ILickPicnMix · 20/05/2014 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

headlesslambrini · 20/05/2014 21:09

Let me get this straight - you have been invited to a random couples 'virtual' non wedding and are expect to send a gift!!

Send them the same as they got you - nothing

Back2Two · 20/05/2014 21:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Leeds2 · 20/05/2014 21:10

I've heard everything now!

So, what are you sending OP?!

Hikonyan · 20/05/2014 21:10

I hope it's a joke because I do not want to believe it's possible for someone to be so rude.

eddielizzard · 20/05/2014 21:11

erm yeah, but generally you don't ask for presents from people you don't know. it's usually a quid pro quo scenario!

Obliviated · 20/05/2014 21:11

I would send a virtual present seeing as it's a virtual party Grin

MirandaGoshawk · 20/05/2014 21:11

Ha ha ha. Send a gift for their building work? Seriously?

YANBU. Grabbiest ever. At least have a massive party or barbecue and get everyone to bring booze the leftovers will keep them going for a while no space fro a party? Hire a hall!

Send them a 'virtual' gift! Grin

attheendoftheday · 20/05/2014 21:12

Are they holding a large party at their own expense while buying their friends dinner and providing entertainment? No? Well, it isn't really equivalent then.

divingoffthebalcony · 20/05/2014 21:13

Wow, I really have heard it all now. Bloody hell!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 20/05/2014 21:13

Awesome. Mumsnetters I'm having a solo party tonight. No need for cards, but gifts will be gratefully received (if purchased from the list).

RubyGoat · 20/05/2014 21:13

Can you see if they have had any replies? What do they say?

expatinscotland · 20/05/2014 21:14

Send them an empty envelope.

WhatTheActualFuckIsThis · 20/05/2014 21:14

I don't know if anyone here has ever been part of a special interest online community, but you do get to build up quite close relationships that develop into friendships, even if you never meet in real life. There's nothing wrong or unusual with that. I'm just saying that's not what's happened in my case with this couple. It's like a poster from Mumsnet has invited me because we've posted in the same section for a while, but never really talked.

OP posts: