My gob is well and truly smacked - AIBU to think this is the grabbiest thing ever?

[WhatTheActualFuckIsThis]

I received an event invite via Facebook recently, along with roughly 100 other people. No event is actually taking place, it's described as 'virtual'.

It's from a couple who have decided never to get married or have children. They go on to explain they've enjoyed celebrating their friends' big occasions over the years and they consider their recent building work to their house to be the equivalent. A gift list has been attached. There is nothing on the gift list worth less than £30, apart from the option to send a voucher starting from £1.

I should mention that I've never met this couple before. I don't consider them to be friends or even acquaintances. The people invited are mostly from the same tight-knit internet community that has drifted apart in recent years. I've never had so much as a PM or a private conversation with either of them.

I am not alone in my 'WTAF?' moment and a friend who was also invited to the 'event' described it as the exact opposite of when you're invited to a wedding and people say they value presence over presents.

So... I throw it open to you, Mumsnet. Am I being unreasonable in thinking this is the grabbiest thing ever?

Surely someone needs to ask if they're on glue...

flightywoman - I said the same thing as your first para up thread. It just doesn't make sense does it?

I can't even list all the things that are wrong with this. The implication that they only attended their friends' celebrations to get gifts in return, inviting people to a virtual "event" so they don't even get to attend a party but are expected to give gifts anyway, inviting people they don't even know in real life, expecting strangers and friends to fund their home renovation, it goes on and on. It is their choice not to have a wedding or children and their choice to renovate a home, they shouldn't expect anyone else to pay for those choices. They probably have more disposable income than their friends with children anyway! I would personally block them and forget about them, they are BVU.

Send them a painting of 2 flying pigs by email, greeting should be, enjoy your virtual presence

But they're not even having a virtual party, are they This would make sense if you were all in a MMOG, they threw an online event and you gave them virtual gifts (even if they cost real money, it wouldn't be much and it might be fun.) But this is bonkers! On the basis of no physical investment whatever by them, be it time & effort, catering or gifts, they think you'll be happy to contribute a physical gift to their physical lives? They really have missed the point, haven't they?

I loved the virtual flowers website Sounds perfect!
I also like the idea of gifting them a link to this thread

How can you be 'friends' with people you have never met and don't know? Have you ever seen the tv show Catfish Untold?! Your 'friends' could be on it

Sounds like they just want to furnish their new building. I would send a virtual gift aswell or a book on manners and etiquette

It's a crazy world we live in!

But is this non-event going to be child-free or not?

If its a virtual party, send them a virtual gift. Email a photo of a tin of Brasso for their brass bloody neck!

Made me burst out laughing!

This is hilarious! I'm assuming that all of the rest of you are having pm-d WTAF conversations behind their backs?

But is this non-event going to be child-free or not?

Good question. It does sound like a bad case of virtual-non-bride-zilla-itis! Perhaps virtual non-guests should double-check whether they'll be given virtual food at the non-event, and if there'll be a virtual free non-bar?

Why not just make a "Go Fund Me" page? At least then they'd be upfront about it and what the money would be used for.

Send them a biscuit. Rich tea. Lovingly wrapped.

The thing is a few years from now they may end up having kids and getting married. It happens. A lot!

I tried to think of something useful. I did for reals. It's just, all I can see scrolling on through my brain is 'what kind of fuckery is this now?' with a few 'cheeky bastards' intermingled for good measure.

Flabber, sometimes it is really ghasted.

Definitely ask if thry are on glue, virtual or otherwise

Suggest they get married.

See what the dress code is before you decide.

I have no issue with people being friends with someone they've never met. If you cast your mind back to before the Internet that was the point of pen pals. I do think it requires some direct contact, if sounds like these people are OP's online acquaintances, rather than friends.

Is it a child free virtual wedding? If so you have your get-out right there. You have no virtual friends or relatives who can have your virtual children that day.

"Your extraordinarily grabby initiative has inspired me to give to a charity organisation instead. Thank you. Enjoy my non-presence at your non-event."

A RL friend of ours decided that she was never going to find anyone to get married to so was going to throw a really big birthday party for a special birthday - she wanted to have those that she would have invited to a wedding there and wanted people to understand it was her 'celebration' which she wanted to share - which made more people make more effort to get there and it was a lovely, real occasion. Plenty of and .

I also have various non-MN internet friends - and managed to get invited to a wedding where I had not ever met any one before apart from online. It was still a RL event though!

This option - madness. I would definitely send a 'virtual' gift, preferably one that you can share with all the other invitees... like a picture of some champagne and glasses or something

You could find a picture of whatever they're after, post into the group 'Is this ok? ' then when they reply ie 'yes, that's great' just say 'ok, there you go then'. Or maybe written a touch more eloquently than I've managed.

Then again if it went along those lines they'd probably sit in waiting for the post man. Then again, does that not make it all the better. Ensuing conversation along the lines of "You're gift hasn't arrived", "Of course it hasn't, it was virtual!"

This is brilliant. OP please send them the pic of a tin of Brasso "for their brass neck", please!

Are they even real?? Maybe it's the virtual marriage of two avatars

You do all realise I can't use any of the suggestions on the thread, in case it outs me? I would love to because they're all brilliant.

Someone has declined as they're attending another virtual event at the same time, followed by a wink smily like this .

Am I the only one dying to know what sort of items are on the list? Gwan OP - what sort of thing are the grabby monstrosities after?

I would post a brick to them and conveniently forget to put the stamps on!!