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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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My gob is well and truly smacked - AIBU to think this is the grabbiest thing ever?

214 replies

WhatTheActualFuckIsThis · 20/05/2014 21:02

I received an event invite via Facebook recently, along with roughly 100 other people. No event is actually taking place, it's described as 'virtual'.

It's from a couple who have decided never to get married or have children. They go on to explain they've enjoyed celebrating their friends' big occasions over the years and they consider their recent building work to their house to be the equivalent. A gift list has been attached. There is nothing on the gift list worth less than £30, apart from the option to send a voucher starting from £1.

I should mention that I've never met this couple before. I don't consider them to be friends or even acquaintances. The people invited are mostly from the same tight-knit internet community that has drifted apart in recent years. I've never had so much as a PM or a private conversation with either of them.

I am not alone in my 'WTAF?' moment and a friend who was also invited to the 'event' described it as the exact opposite of when you're invited to a wedding and people say they value presence over presents.

So... I throw it open to you, Mumsnet. Am I being unreasonable in thinking this is the grabbiest thing ever?

OP posts:
Ioethe · 21/05/2014 11:29

Send them a brick.

Ioethe · 21/05/2014 11:29

Oops, didn't see Whatisaweekend's comment!

WanderingAway · 21/05/2014 11:41

I dont think that it would out you are there seems to be a few mumsnetters who got the same invite.

You need to send something. Maybe a virtual bottle of wine. Or a picture of a empty bottle of wine. The one you drank to celebrate the non event.

winkywinkybumbum · 21/05/2014 14:50

Any smelly soap on the list??

phantomnamechanger · 21/05/2014 14:51

OP, do report back on the grabby-zilla mega strop when they realise NO ONE has sent them anything (real) at all.

SURELY they are having a laugh? I mean WHO is so lacking in social awareness that they even thought it was doable?

ScarlettlovesRhett · 21/05/2014 15:08

Please post the gift list - I am intrigued!

Fillybuster · 21/05/2014 15:24

[intrigued]

vladthedisorganised · 21/05/2014 16:43

Does the gift list rhyme?

"For years now we have lived in sin,
We have the towels, kitchen bin,
The napkins, china and the glass -
But to get wed? We can't be arsed.
We'll celebrate our unwed state
By getting presents from our mates.
But in these modern times of gloom -
It's not enough! We must consume!
More presents we are sure to get
From strangers on the Internet.
We'll sure you'll have a happy glow
From spending fifty quid or so
On people you have never seen.
Come on - cough up now! Don't be mean!"

hoppingmad · 21/05/2014 16:57

Grin Vlad - that's really rather good

Fillybuster · 21/05/2014 17:05

That's excellent Vlad

OP...can't you post it on their FB page? Please?!

TheHouseatWhoCorner · 21/05/2014 17:10

The thing is, I'm trying to imagine the virtual party.
What happens at 8pm, are they showered and dressed up?
Will they watch TV with twiglets or will they put some music on and chitchat?
Will they stay up until 11 or will one of them go get into their PJs at 9ish like they do every other Saturday night? Then put a wash on before going to bed with kindle?
How does one behave at your own virtual party?

bensam · 21/05/2014 17:18

So how much are you giving them OP? :-D

fridgepants · 21/05/2014 17:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 21/05/2014 17:30

I'm only surprised it's not become more widespread - maybe it will now??? Grin

As others have said, surely he only answer is a "virtual gift"

phantomnamechanger · 21/05/2014 18:42

vlad that's brill Grin Grin

Boaby · 21/05/2014 19:30

Someone I used to work with set up one of these pages asking for 'only a few pounds from each of you' to fund her partners birthday present from her...a trip to Monaco. No one was to tell the partner as she wanted it to be a surprise (ie she wanted him to think she had paid for it) she didn't get anything from anyone and was really arsey about it.

I do wonder about folk.

Ps show us the gift list!

NatashaBee · 21/05/2014 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

minecrap · 21/05/2014 19:53

I'm wondering who you are now...I'm part of this very same online community and got the same invitation.

I have met her a couple of times and interact with her on Facebook occasionally. I think this is so very grabby - really changed my opinion of her. I think maybe she's a bit 'head-in-the-sand' about a few things though. Never really got the impression she lives in the real world in terms of finances.

somewheresomehow · 21/05/2014 19:58

Vlad thats a brill rhyme Grin

chrome100 · 21/05/2014 20:02

Please post the link to the event here

phantomnamechanger · 21/05/2014 20:02

wow at all these MNers who are members of the same group, but please stop coming on here teasing us like this - please just tell us what the group is so we can all join the bun fight and get the much sought after invitation to her wonderful soo-pah virtual party, we will be honoured, we will be falling over each other to order the pressies xx

KatieKaye · 21/05/2014 20:05

Oh, I think you should enter into the spirit of things and send them a poem. One that doesn't rhyme or scan, of course, seeing as how they aren't having a wedding or a party or doing anything except ask for money.

Or maybe just post this to their wall:

stravagante · 21/05/2014 20:07

Oh dear. I am a lurker but I recognised this invite...

l think it is really poorly thought out rather than grabby per se. As in they want to show off the work done etc but have been peculiarly graceless about doing it.

Mind you, someone said it was WoW and that is not how I know the people...

TheCraicDealer · 21/05/2014 20:24

For god's sake, PUT US OUT OF OUR MISERY.

One of you screenshot it and paint out names/pictures and post it. There's five of you- take a hit for team guys, come on. Remember which online community hasn't set up a gift list for an imaginary event.

jedishelly1 · 21/05/2014 20:30

A suggestion, perhaps?

25.media.tumblr.com/294ec2b30f9167c80979074d20d1a90c/tumblr_mi8598jCmV1r6vjcjo1_500.gif

Gobsmacked by their brazeness!