My gob is well and truly smacked - AIBU to think this is the grabbiest thing ever?

[WhatTheActualFuckIsThis]

I received an event invite via Facebook recently, along with roughly 100 other people. No event is actually taking place, it's described as 'virtual'.

It's from a couple who have decided never to get married or have children. They go on to explain they've enjoyed celebrating their friends' big occasions over the years and they consider their recent building work to their house to be the equivalent. A gift list has been attached. There is nothing on the gift list worth less than £30, apart from the option to send a voucher starting from £1.

I should mention that I've never met this couple before. I don't consider them to be friends or even acquaintances. The people invited are mostly from the same tight-knit internet community that has drifted apart in recent years. I've never had so much as a PM or a private conversation with either of them.

I am not alone in my 'WTAF?' moment and a friend who was also invited to the 'event' described it as the exact opposite of when you're invited to a wedding and people say they value presence over presents.

So... I throw it open to you, Mumsnet. Am I being unreasonable in thinking this is the grabbiest thing ever?

yes, just post a pic of a cocktail shaker.

Ha ha ha. I almost admire their bluntness.

Oops should have refreshed...

i have friends in that scenario too, and none of them have ever sent me a gift list out of the blue.

Oh please send them a virtual gift!!! And not even a very good one.

Yanbu I don't know what to say.

Yes I remember the Sex and the City episode. Didn't someone steal her Manolos at a baby shower or something at someone's shoes off house and she sends a gift list to celebrate "Me" with the shoes as the only thing on it, given that she's spent thousands over the years on peoples weddings, christenings, baby showers etc. Something like that

I'm actually sad about the whole thing. It's changed my opinion of them drastically.

I might send a virtual gift.

If its a virtual party, send them a virtual gift. Email a photo of a tin of Brasso for their brass bloody neck!

Clearly the only appropriate gift for a non-wedding, non-party give-us-stuff invitation is an oxfam goat. That way someone they'll never meet gets something in honour of them trying to fleece all the people they've ever encountered in incredibly tangential ways.

I do kind of see their point. It's a bit like when you are a non smoker and the other people in the office get cigarette breaks. You start wondering when you get to go for a ten minute stroll outside 3 times a day.

But that is not to say that I agree with them. Not in the slightest. It seems very odd given that they aren't even actual physical friends.

Excellent idea, CW

I can see the point just about, if I put my glasses on and squint really really hard to see it in the distance.

I have no idea what to say. That is unbelievable. How do they not realise?????????

Send a virtual gift? Post a picture of pound coins on their FB? The event is only virtual after all.

Ah, great minds think alike!

Have they been watching sex and the city?

Send a photo gift of a pile of bricks

Must be a joke, surely?

Please, please send them www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped/gardeners/manure-OU8018ML. I feel it expresses exactly what you'd want to say in response to the invitation.

It is interesting as so far nobody has bought anything from the gift list.

I'm not debating the 'It's odd that you've never actually met them' because I do have very good internet friends myself that I've not met yet. I just think this couple in particular have got this spectacularly wrong. Sure, hold a celebration if you like, about anything you like, but actually hold it. Don't just call it virtual and expect people to buy you things.

Send them this?

Send them your best wishes.

Buy yourself a gift voucher. Send picture. Spend voucher. On yourself.

So basically they just want everybody they know to send them a present, not feed nor water them or spend any money whatsover.. just send them a present?

Oddness right there

Post them a virtual present.. it's asking for it.