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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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My gob is well and truly smacked - AIBU to think this is the grabbiest thing ever?

214 replies

WhatTheActualFuckIsThis · 20/05/2014 21:02

I received an event invite via Facebook recently, along with roughly 100 other people. No event is actually taking place, it's described as 'virtual'.

It's from a couple who have decided never to get married or have children. They go on to explain they've enjoyed celebrating their friends' big occasions over the years and they consider their recent building work to their house to be the equivalent. A gift list has been attached. There is nothing on the gift list worth less than £30, apart from the option to send a voucher starting from £1.

I should mention that I've never met this couple before. I don't consider them to be friends or even acquaintances. The people invited are mostly from the same tight-knit internet community that has drifted apart in recent years. I've never had so much as a PM or a private conversation with either of them.

I am not alone in my 'WTAF?' moment and a friend who was also invited to the 'event' described it as the exact opposite of when you're invited to a wedding and people say they value presence over presents.

So... I throw it open to you, Mumsnet. Am I being unreasonable in thinking this is the grabbiest thing ever?

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 20/05/2014 21:57

ye gods, you think you've heard it all and then this Shock
I think you should all conspire together and send the happy couple 100 photos of a toaster, with a luffly poem attached, natch

CuriosityCola · 20/05/2014 21:58

.

Fannydabbydozey · 20/05/2014 22:00

But have they asked for some money for their month long non-occasion holiday? And requested you attend the virtual party in virtual fancy dress? If not they are not being grabby enough, surely...

Grin
Pimpf · 20/05/2014 22:01

This is brilliant!!!!!

flightywoman · 20/05/2014 22:07

Dear havingapartycouple...

I read your invitation
I really was excited
A party! Snacks and cocktails
A posh frock and a hat

But I looked a little closer
and saw that it was virtual
So I put away my frock
and forgot about the hat

I'm really very sorry
that when we asked you to our wedding
you thought we only wanted you
for presents, swag and gifts

And I'm really very sorry
that when you came to Mary's christening
you thought we only wanted you
for presents, swag and gifts

And I'm really very sorry
that when you asked me to your party
I realised you only wanted me
for presents, swag and gifts

I'll sit at home this weekend
while you're at your virtual party
And send a virtual present
And some virtual swag and gifts

BrokenToeOuch · 20/05/2014 22:08

I think your gift to them should be a link to this thread.
Although I'm not sure I totally understand. Are you friends with these people or not? Just random Facebook friends that you've never met? Sorry, I'm a bit slow this evening!

Catsize · 20/05/2014 22:10

Send them a brick for their building work. Through one of their windows.

Fram · 20/05/2014 22:10

I don't think I can judge until I know what type of special interest group it is... is it a WOW guild?

IAmTheGodOfTitsAndWine · 20/05/2014 22:14

This can't be real. It can't be.

weneedtotalkaboutshriver · 20/05/2014 22:15

What's a WOW guild Fram ?

flightywoman · 20/05/2014 22:17

It really is real Godoftitsandwine, cross my heart, brownie's honour...

UncleT · 20/05/2014 22:27

Virtual nothing. Send them a literal 'fuck you'.

ethylmethylamine · 20/05/2014 22:33

Yes it is real, I'm another invitee. I've never met either of them irl, we just all posted together in the same place for years. I want to think they just didn't think it through and simply clicked on "invite all my FB friends".

rollonthesummer · 20/05/2014 22:37

How do you know them exactly?

Fram · 20/05/2014 22:45

World of Warcraft (an online game)

Fram · 20/05/2014 22:46

Though... now a 3rd MNer has cropped up... I'm beginning to think it's actually mouldies! Grin

slowcomputer · 20/05/2014 22:51

Go on, someone post it. If there are three of you it won't out you. Or PM it to me and I'll post it!

AnyaKnowIt · 20/05/2014 22:58

Ooh marking place in case the virtual hostess turns up!

mineofuselessinformation · 20/05/2014 22:58

How about 'Haha, good one!' And leave it at that.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 20/05/2014 23:07

The virtual flowers are great, send them! Cheeky fuckers Shock

SinisterBuggyMonth · 20/05/2014 23:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MargotLovedTom · 20/05/2014 23:55

flightywoman what debt though?! If you've never actually met, let alone had them at your celebrations, then how can there be any perceived debt?

It's no different to approaching a random stranger in the street and asking them for a present, because you once gave a colleague a birthday present but they didn't give you one in return.

The fact that they're not even holding any real celebration makes it even worse. I think this illustrates the dangers of getting too involved in a virtual world, that they think a virtual party is an adequate substitute for real, human interaction. I might tell my Minecraft addicted dd about it as a warning Wink.

SleepySuitcaseSheepie · 21/05/2014 00:02

I just [shocked]

SleepySuitcaseSheepie · 21/05/2014 00:03
  • I'm
flightywoman · 21/05/2014 00:10

That's exactly the point though Margot. I could just about see the mindset of it if she had come to any of my celebrations, or sent something when I got married etc, but the fact is she's been to things for her RL friends and yet seems to be expecting other friends to 'pay it back' in some way.

I don't think it's an online thing necessarily, I speak to my online friends as much and about as many different things as I do to RL friends, I am going to a wedding of one of them next month and very much looking forward to it. I value them, they are as much friends as someone I've known longer because I met them in person first.

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