My gob is well and truly smacked - AIBU to think this is the grabbiest thing ever?

[WhatTheActualFuckIsThis]

I received an event invite via Facebook recently, along with roughly 100 other people. No event is actually taking place, it's described as 'virtual'.

It's from a couple who have decided never to get married or have children. They go on to explain they've enjoyed celebrating their friends' big occasions over the years and they consider their recent building work to their house to be the equivalent. A gift list has been attached. There is nothing on the gift list worth less than £30, apart from the option to send a voucher starting from £1.

I should mention that I've never met this couple before. I don't consider them to be friends or even acquaintances. The people invited are mostly from the same tight-knit internet community that has drifted apart in recent years. I've never had so much as a PM or a private conversation with either of them.

I am not alone in my 'WTAF?' moment and a friend who was also invited to the 'event' described it as the exact opposite of when you're invited to a wedding and people say they value presence over presents.

So... I throw it open to you, Mumsnet. Am I being unreasonable in thinking this is the grabbiest thing ever?

And FWIW, we got married because We met and wanted to be together in a formally recognised way. We wanted our family and friends to share in our joy.

I didn't do it for the fucking presents. We had a charitable gift list, things started at £5. That's how much it wasn't about gifts for us.

What flightywoman said.
I'm a MN lurker and was invited and frankly insulted by the whole thing - I got married because I was deeply in love and wanted to share my life with that person. I had a baby because I wanted a family.

The person who organised didn't even congratulate me on those events iirc, let alone buy me a gift. Of they had I'd be even more irked that they gave and kept score that they were owed in return.

I didn't do those things for gifts, my life choices aren't cyclical excuses to be grabby, their the choices I made about my life. The insinuation that those things are done as a commercial enterprise is frankly, well insulting

I spent a considerable amount on celebrating those events, did the presence more than presents thing and expected nothing more than people to be happy for me.

This is that in reverse

Ignore my complete lack of grammar and spelling my ire stole those skills

I haven't read the full thread, actually haven't read past the op, but I know what event this is & I'm currently trying to work out who you are OP.
I couldn't open the gift list on my device...

if she gets the house sorted he can do a big house warming and get house warming presents, from the people she actually knows well enough to invite.

Even if it's a jokey tongue in cheek thing, well it's not even funny

All these MNetters from the same group!

I'm with Itsanoutrage. Even if the whole thing was thoughtless or tongue-in-cheek, it's backfired badly because pretty much everyone is feeling insulted.

When I got married, I didn't have a gift list. I got embarrassed whenever anyone asked and deflected the question because I knew people were really putting themselves out to be able to attend. I got presents and gifts anyway and it meant more that way because I knew they were given freely and not out of some sort of social obligation. I'm weird though.

This could have been handled so much better - with an actual party, for instance. The person who created the virtual event said she didn't have enough space for one, but what I read in-between the lines was 'I don't value you people at all, not even enough to hire a hall and do a simple party. I resent having bought anyone anything if they made different life choices to me, so fuck you all and just give me your money, m'kay?'

It HAS to be a joke (a bad one) - surely

Lol Exit I can't believe there are so many of us on MN that I didn't know about

Well this explains why the other place is so quiet these days, we are all addicted to mn!

Having read the actual wording of the 'invitation' it doesn't sound as 'grabby' as I first thought when reading the op. They have offered to let people stay if passing through london. I could see why they wouldn't have enough room to host the party since they invited hundreds/thousands of random strangers off the net as well as people they know in rl

I blushed for friends of ours recently. We got invited to their house warming they move a lot and have one for every 'new' place through fb, the people in question stated that the party was from 2pm to 6pm. Everyone attending needed to bring food, drink & their own chair! They also invited anyone that could play an instrument or sing to come along to provide entertainment . they announced the venue but basically expected the invitees to do the rest for them!

Bizarre but outstandingly so.
Someone on MN got a 100 handcrafted wooden wand as a leaving present from work yesterday. She was a bit WTF? I'd match bizarre with bizarre myself.

What is the group soooo curious!