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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petty row. AIBU

205 replies

VitoCorleone · 06/05/2014 08:37

I have 3 note books, I'm a bit obsessed with lists and order so in one book i have my meal plan and shopping list. The other two are recipies and stuff.

On the front page is just lines so ive wrote on the front, for example, "meal plans. Shopping lists"

Got up this morning and DP had wrote a note, right on the very front page the fucking football score, hope your feeling better, love you.

I text and asked why he's wrote on the front page and not just used a blank page i can rip out. He's told me to go and fuck myself, don't bother him again 'you prick'

Should i have said nowt?

(told you it was petty)

OP posts:
ICanSeeTheSun · 06/05/2014 08:38

That's not petty, does he normally speak to you like that

Original poster
VitoCorleone · 06/05/2014 08:41

Yea when mad

OP posts:
SpringBreaker · 06/05/2014 08:43

Why can't you rip it out? You don't keep shopping lists and meal plans after you have used them do you?

How exactly did you word your response to him.

His back to you wasn't pleasant, but if I left someone a note asking if they felt better, and said I loved them, I would probably be slightly pissed off if they had a go at me for "spoiling" their pad.

DoJo · 06/05/2014 08:43

He sounds like a right charmer, but I think your focus on the note is missing the point - that is an outrageous way to speak to someone, particularly someone you're supposed to love. What on earth would he say if something really annoyed him?!

Canus · 06/05/2014 08:43

Shock If my husband spoke to me like that I'd be wondering whether he'd had a knock on the head or something!

I love your organised note-keeping though Grin

WRT the scrawl, I suppose he just wrote on the first bit of paper he came across, not knowing they were special notebooks.

I wouldn't have bothered texting him about it, but then never in a million years would my husband call me a prick or tell me to go fuck myself.

Clint88 · 06/05/2014 08:44

He wrote you a cute note showing you he's thinking of you and you bollocked him, he's probably hurt. I'll swap you, my DH is not the romantic type. I'd love that on my notebook :(

He could have been politer but you sound like hard work.

wheresthelight · 06/05/2014 08:44

Personally I think the notebook thing is a bit pathetic but his response is well out of order. If this is his regular behaviour then I am afraid you get my first ltb

HecatePropylaea · 06/05/2014 08:45

You think it's petty?

I don't think it's petty. Why was he so very aggressive in his response? He always talks to you like that over such trivia? Why?

AnyFucker · 06/05/2014 08:45

What was he meant to be "mad" about ?

Personally, I think you are "mad" for giving house room to someone who talks to you like you are a piece of shit

SmashleyHop · 06/05/2014 08:46

You both sound unreasonable to me. The way he spoke to you was downright nasty, but why come down on him over something that was meant to lift your spirits??

I will often hide love notes to my DH on his diary for work/in his pockets of coats/ in his wallet- I'd be so hurt and angry if he had a go at me for them.

thebodylovesspring · 06/05/2014 08:48

Not sure I really understand op.

He wrote that he loved you in your notebook and the football score?

You told him off and he swore?

You both sound a bit silly to be honest.

DragonMamma · 06/05/2014 08:49

I agree that he was U in his response but you massively pissed on his chips for doing something nice.

I can't believe you text him to ask him why he wrote in your notepad. I mean, you know why (presumably to do something sweet for you) and were clearly pissed off that he'd written in The Notepad to even send him the text and he obviously knows this.

firesidechat · 06/05/2014 08:51

I've been married almost 30 years and we've had the odd argument along the way. He has never, ever spoken to me like that, not even close and especially not about something so insignificant.

I sort of get what you mean about where he wrote the message. I too can be a bit anal about things like that. I wouldn't tell my husband off, but I might well mention that I would rather he didn't do that. He would apologise (probably) and it would all be forgotten.

The way your partner spoke to you was nasty and I assume there is more behaviour like this in your relationship.

UncleT · 06/05/2014 08:51

The way he spoke to you is outrageous, hurt or not.

It would be good to know exactly what you said to him though. Wouldn't make a difference to the fact that he shouldn't speak to you like that under any circumstances, but I do wonder if you might be as bad as each other (you rather skipped over what you sent him, seems a bit odd to go straight from 'hope you're feeling better' to 'fuck you, you prick').

CloverHeart · 06/05/2014 08:52

You sound incredibly ungrateful and your DH sounds like a prize wanker.

firesidechat · 06/05/2014 08:53

I wouldn't text him about it though, so maybe that was slightly unreasonable, but no where near as bad as what he did.

scarletforya · 06/05/2014 08:55

That's a horrible way to talk to you.

Can't see past that tbh.

googoodolly · 06/05/2014 08:57

You both sound as bad as eachother. If I left DP a loving note and he sent me a text to bitch about it, I would be hurt and angry too, but he shouldn't have been so aggressive in his response either.

UncleT · 06/05/2014 08:57

Fireside - we don't actually know it wasn't 'as bad' because we haven't been told what she said. Again, to be clear there's no excuse for his behaviour, but makes a difference to whether both are being unreasonable.

HazleNutt · 06/05/2014 08:58

You are both unreasonable. I would be pissed off too, if I left a cute note to Dh and he texted back not to say thanks, love you too, but complaining about where I wrote it. I would never call him a prick though.

LettertoHerms · 06/05/2014 08:59

Was your text along the lines of, "Why the fuck would you write on my notebook, you fucking fuckity fuck bastard?"

Honestly, having a go at him for writing a love note for you is petty, and I would find it deeply hurtful if DP did that to me. But his response is outrageous, and completely unacceptable, so I do wonder if your text to him was in the same tone.

restandpeace · 06/05/2014 09:00

He shouldnt of spoke to you like that but really there was no need to moan, he left you a nice message

Preciousbane · 06/05/2014 09:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Appletini · 06/05/2014 09:02

You both sound completely unreasonable.

ScrambledSmegs · 06/05/2014 09:02

So, he absentmindedly scribbled the football score on the very first page of one of your notebooks, realised that you wouldn't like it and tried to make it up to you a little by writing a loving note to you on there too?

Look it's a notebook. I get that it matters to you, but unless it's symbolic of an ingrained lack of respect for you and your belongings, I don't think it's a big deal.

What is a big deal is the verbal abuse. I wouldn't be able to get past that.