Petty row. AIBU

[VitoCorleone]

I have 3 note books, I'm a bit obsessed with lists and order so in one book i have my meal plan and shopping list. The other two are recipies and stuff.

On the front page is just lines so ive wrote on the front, for example, "meal plans. Shopping lists"

Got up this morning and DP had wrote a note, right on the very front page the fucking football score, hope your feeling better, love you.

I text and asked why he's wrote on the front page and not just used a blank page i can rip out. He's told me to go and fuck myself, don't bother him again 'you prick'

Should i have said nowt?

(told you it was petty)

*Fireside - we don't actually know it wasn't 'as bad' because we haven't been told what she said. Again, to be clear there's no excuse for his behaviour, but makes a difference to whether both are being unreasonable.

No, that's very true. If the OP did behave in a similar way, then that is obviously a very unhealthy relationship. No one, male or female should be spoken to like that.

I can see what OP means about the notebook (as I'm the same) - that first page is like a cover.

For those saying this is petty, if someone wrote a love note on the cover of one of your books, you probably wouldn't appreciate it either.

But yes, the massive glaring problem is the way he speaks to you. Not petty and not on.

The text said "why have you wrote on the front page of that notepad when its full of blank pages, WTF?"

He said "are you being serious?"

I said "well im slightly pissed off you would do that"

He said "go fuck yourself. Don't bother me again you fucking prick"

My DD is anal about her notebooks, but she is eight! I would probably be a bit pissy if I wrote a nice note to my DH and he told me off, I would not have used the language he did but then we don't know quite how the OP articulated herself.

I would put it down to both as bad as each other TBH.

OK, his side was definitely worse, but you were being pretty ridiculous. It's something that would annoy me too in your shoes, but having a go at someone while at work about something so petty is going to piss them off. That said, his language is highly abusive - definitely consider binning him.

IT'S A NOTEBOOK. I have OCD and would still not do that. Couldn't you say hey hon, thanks for decorating my notebook, can't say it's quite what I wanted on there.

Sounds like neither of you respect each other.

you both sound utterly ridiculous. Do you both have form for this kind of thing?

I still think you are being ungrateful and need a bit of perspective on this. Your DH wrote you a note somewhere permanent where it could be kept as a momentum of his love for you and you were a bitch to him.

Shouldn't have spoken to you in such a harsh manner but, honestly, the majority of us would be thrilled with a gesture such as this.

Wow. OP, I don't care if the notebook thing was petty. Seeing the texts, he's a massive cock. He's always like this when he's angry? That's truly unacceptable.

I might take him up on his advice, don't bother him again, just chuck him out of your life.

I would say as bad as each other too., but my response if I had been him would have been shove your precious notepad up your backside.,

Well i did text him back whilst on the school run saying "sorry, I'm ill and overreacted"

He called me ungrateful, i apologised again and said "I'm sorry, I'm just anal when it comes to notebooks"

He never replied

I wouldn't have texted the insults your husband did but in his place I would definitely have thought them, along with 'why do I f@cking bother'.

Maybe he was under the impression that his concern for you would be more important to you than your shopping list. Now he knows better.

Can't say I blame him. I could understand your reaction if he'd scrawled a note on the cover of a rare 1st edition but on a shopping list notebook ? ?

Your text was inflammatory and he has reacted angrily. If he really has dumped oh I hope your notebook was worth it

Course he hasn't dumped me. It was a petty row

After clarification- you are still massively unreasonable. He is a major prick though. Maybe next time try a, "Thanks for my love note! How sweet. Next time though put it some where I can appreciate it more like a note on the fridge. I could see it all the time there."

Think if i was him i wouldnt bother with nice little notes again.

Vito- Maybe he has not replied because he is actually working? Perhaps he will reply later on. I don't think you can blame him for not being free to text all day long when he is meant to be working.

I took the "don't bother me again" that way, obviously I misread it.

He needs to apologise for speaking to you like that. If it's a regular thing, get the hell away from him. It's worrying that you seem to be playing it down.

Your DP is abusive. The initial reason for this falling out is petty on both sides, yes, but the language he is using towards you shows a complete lack of respect. I couldn't live with someone who treated me like that.

His language is awful.

But I think texting about this is really OTT on your part.

When he asked if you were serious, did that really not give you pause for thought?

Are you surprised that he hasn't replied?

I wouldn't because I'd be so fucked off with you for being so petty.

If you lose your shit over something as insignificant as this then I wonder how you react to actual, genuine problems. Your DH probably feels like he is walking on eggshells 99% of the time

Total overreaction on your part, unacceptable language and reaction from him.

Sorry but him calling you a fucking prick is just awful. And you've apologised to him...I'd shove the note up his arse as his response was so much worse than your ungratefulness.

your DH is abusive

Overreaction much ?