To be upset that DH has ruined today with his bad mood?

[sharkshorts]

DH sometimes gets in a bad mood if he is tired. He can't seem to accept that sometimes tiredness is part and parcel of being an adult/parent and that sometimes you just have to get on with it.

He worked yesterday. Admittedly it was quite a long day, but he got home at 6pm in a foul mood because he was tired, so I was quite relieved when he went to bed at 9. He had about 12 hours sleep as I got up with our youngest child this morning.

We'd planned a family day out today to an adventure-type park. The DCs have been looking forward to it. When DH got up this morning it was obvious that he was in a bad mood still, so I offered to take the kids by myself if he was still tired and grumpy. But no, he insisted on coming.

He has spent the whole day acting like a big child; giving one word answers, pulling faces when he doesn't like the sound of something, ignoring the kids and I when we spoke to him. He got in a right old strop at one point because I asked him to hold DS's drink whilst I helped DS off a slide. You could cut the atmosphere in the car on the way home with a knife...

We got home, and I said to DH that it wasn't fair to take his bad mood out on the DCs and I, and then of course I got it in the neck and now he is in a worse mood because of "my attitude". A few minutes ago he stomped off upstairs and shut the bedroom door, presumably for a sleep, of course leaving me with all the childcare etc, without even telling me that he was going up!

We were going to go out for tea tonight but DH said when we got back that he didn't want to and basically fired off a list of things that he does want, so I'm guessing he is expecting me to take the kids off to the supermarket to get the things, then prepare tea.

I hate it when he is in these moods; my own father was extremely moody and when DH behaves this way it casts a cloud on my day. I was so looking forward to a nice family day out, having fun, and now I feel that he has ruined it.

He has ruined it. He's a dick and a child.

I am tempted to just leave him stewing in bed on his own and to take the DCs out for tea. He can make himself beans on toast if he's hungry!

I'd still take the kids out. No need to revolve a day around him. Let him be miserable alone, especially if he doesn't even have the decency to tell you whats wrong.

Phew, he sounds like hard work. I dislike being with moody people. If he wrote a post on MN what would he say? I find it hard to see how he would justify his behaviour. If he has that much sleep last night, he shouldn't be exceptionally tired should he?

Pour yourself a glass of wine and savour the bank holiday anyway. Life is too short.

Meh, take the kids out for tea by yourself and stop nannying around him. If he wants to behave like a big baby then treat him like one and ignore his tanty.

Is it possible these things are symptoms of depression? Needing to sleep a lot and not wanting to do things he'd ordinarily enjoy are unusual in an adult.

He has just said that he's tired when I've asked why he's moody. He always says that though when he gets in these moods. They usually last a week but luckily he is working away from tomorrow until the weekend so I shan't have to put up with his moodiness this week.

Take the kids out for tea without him (don't tell him you're going just go) my dad used to behave like this it's bloody tiresome.

Take your dc out for tea.

Fuck that!

And don't speak to him until he snaps out of his mood.

I'm not one for starting rows but in this instance please, please go out with your children for dinner. He had 12 hours sleep. He's being ridiculous and spoilt.

Hs putting me in bad humour here and I don't even know him. You deserve a break yourself.

Yep, I would just get the kids and go out while he is sulking in his bedroom. If you run round him now making him what he wants he will know he can get away with it and do it again . . . and again . . .

He is behaving like a child, ignore him and go and have a lovely tea out with your kids.

Go out run

You take the DC out for tea, as planned. He's an adult, let him sort himself out.

Take the DCs out - he sounds like a right old misery guts and it will give him a badly needed message about his behaviour.

Oh OP this is pretty much always. He is always tired never me, he is hard done by blah blah blah. I now make plans and he comes or he doesn't but even when he goes he is often stroppy.

No advice but just go out for tea.

Yup. Take the kids out for dinner, and have a good time.
Let him stew and ignore him.

Oh and I should say 40 years on my dad is still the same because he never gets pulled up on it.

Tell him to fuck off and take your dc out for tea.

Take the children out, act normally. Just pack them Into the car and go. He can sort himself out. If he has a go at you then pull him up on it! Don't put up with that crap!

"I am tempted to just leave him stewing in bed on his own and to take the DCs out for tea. He can make himself beans on toast if he's hungry!"

You made a plan, so stick to it and leave him to stew in his own juice.

I'd also dispute that "tiredness" is the root cause of his moods. If it was, after a decent night's sleep his moodiness would have improved, not last a whole bloody week.

Something else is gong on, but whatever it is, it's not fair to be unpleasant around you and the kids.

I'm definitely going to take them out. I'll just leave him sleeping then when he finally decides to grace us with his presence he can sort his own sodding meal out. It'll cause more moods and bad feeling but hey ho, I've got to show him that I won't jump to it because of his moods.

I hope you and the kids are now just off for a nice meal out without old grumpy pants.

Leave him stewing in his own juices. If he demands to know why you did it when you get back then just tell him straight that you find his horrible moods unacceptable in a family situation.

Good. He'll be moody anyway so please yourself Op. You're right not to pander to him. Sulking regularly is emotional abuse imo. It's not ok treatment.