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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to start escorting?

191 replies

Rocknahardplace · 28/04/2014 23:09

I don't know what else to do :(

Lost my job instead of being made full time as expected. Savings are gone after being part time for almost a year, can survive at most another month's rent.

I live in shared accom with two flatmates, have no partner, no family who can help me. I have a life limiting condition which rules out a few things like bar work (cannot stand for long times due to nerve damage) but refused dla/pip. It;s just me on my own and I'm sinking. At least if I escort and bank a few hundred pounds it might keep a roof over my head and a bit of food on the table for longer.

So upset and heartbroken my life has turned out like this but I don't know what to do. Escorting so I don't lose my home, a permanent address from which to keep applying to jobs seems like the only option. I wouldn't survive in a hostel and would probably have all my things stolen.

OP posts:
PrincessBabyCat · 28/04/2014 23:13

You're your own person and can do what you want, it's just going to be a moral debate in this thread.

But, if you have a limiting condition, how are you going to go out and show a guy a good time?

Is there any government programs you can get on to help out temporarily?

GreenIsTheWord · 28/04/2014 23:15

Do you mean an escort? Or an escort?

Rocknahardplace · 28/04/2014 23:16

Nerve damage which means I can't stand for long chunks of time doesn't stop me being a good fuck, PrincessBabyCat. Never had any compaints, quite the opposite in fact. I have other symptoms which don't get in the way of sex.

I have researched and researched and there is nothing else I can apply for.

OP posts:
Quinteszilla · 28/04/2014 23:16

Will your flatmates be ok with this? Can you afford the initial outlays? Can your condition cope with this?

jonicomelately · 28/04/2014 23:17

There are a million ways to make money. Start a business over the Internet?

FreudiansSlipper · 28/04/2014 23:17

forget the happy whore stories that the media love to talk about

how would you feel about a man who you have only known for a few hours wanting anal sex and talking dirty to you and not caring about your enjoying sex

that is more the reality, it is not a judgement on those that do (that is left for the men that pay)

can you get housing benefit? sickness benefit?

Rocknahardplace · 28/04/2014 23:18

I mean having sex for money, GreenIsTheWord. Somehow I doubt the existance of agencies which deal solely with clients wanting good conversation over dinner and nothing more.

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Quinteszilla · 28/04/2014 23:18

I think you just lack imagination and hanker for some outrage.

You are an adult. Do as you want.

PrincessBabyCat · 28/04/2014 23:20

Right, but I thought escorts did more than just simple prostitution, like going out dancing and having a date type activity first.

Just be careful. Sex work can be dangerous.

Monkeybubbles1 · 28/04/2014 23:21

There's always McDonald's.

Rocknahardplace · 28/04/2014 23:21

I wouldn't do it from home. I'd join an agency?

I would not be a happy hooker. Not remotely. But I am a good actress and I just am struggling to decide if I could grit my teeth and do it to survive, until eventually a proper job comes along.

Wouldn't do anal sex. Wouldn't really care about talking dirty or not enjoying it myself in this instance, if my safety was ok I'd be happy. And I know, there's no way of knowing, ever.

Starting a business is a great possibility for the future but won't be on its feet making a profit by the time I run out of savings.

OP posts:
basgetti · 28/04/2014 23:21

Why can't you claim JSA/ESA and housing benefit?

Rocknahardplace · 28/04/2014 23:22

Monkeybubble - I cannot stand for long periods of time.

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curiousgeorgie · 28/04/2014 23:24

Rather than doing something you clearly don't sound happy about can you register with temp agencies for admin work? ( seated?!)

Can you do telesales? Tarot?? Chat lines maybe as an alternative??

Rocknahardplace · 28/04/2014 23:25

Basgetti, jobseekers and rent allowance I'm entitled to amounts to £160 per week. My rent is £125 per week before bills. Bills approximately £100 per month.

That leaves me with about £10 a week to feed myself, make sure I have a phone to ring agencies for work, and travel to interviews. Before I've paid for ANYTHING else, ie last interview I had to pay for drycleaning for my interview suit and also £5 to print out a lot of my portfolio to bring to interview.

Not happening. It just doesn't work.

OP posts:
DillydollyRIP · 28/04/2014 23:25

What about the other type of escort that chaperone children travelling to school is taxis. No standing involved but money probably not as good I'd imagine?

Rocknahardplace · 28/04/2014 23:29

This reply has been deleted

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itsbetterthanabox · 28/04/2014 23:30

Please don't do this. It will make you much more unhappy. Firstly sign on the dole and speak to the job centre on how they can help you. Then Sign up to every job agency there is around you. They will find you work. I can't stand for long periods either so specify office work, do the same. You may have to temp for a while but something permanent will come up.

CuttedUpPear · 28/04/2014 23:30

Why don't you try working for one of those sex chat lines to start with?
You could guage how you feel about the clients without getting physically involved.
And you wouldn't have to get dressed up

itsbetterthanabox · 28/04/2014 23:33

Telesales will often hire on the spot and then you can continue looking for other work. Try all the double glazing companies and cleaning companies. Anglian and Apple home improvements hired me on the day.

greenwinter · 28/04/2014 23:34

I can understand your desperation, and I would never judge you. But honestly you have a very distorted idea of what being an escort means. It is very dangerous. Women get attacked, raped and murdered, whether they are escorting with well paying punters, or on the streets. It is rare for even "high class" escorts never to experience violence from a punter.

I have a number of friends who have been in the sex industry. All of them would advise someone to do everything they can to avoid getting into it. All of them are still affected by some of the things they experienced.

OurMiracle1106 · 28/04/2014 23:37

Claim housing benefit
Claim esa.
Claim council tax benefit
Discretionary housing payment can be applied for under hardship grounds I'm pretty sure not being able to eat will cover that.
Also esa after the assessment period is a little more than jsa
You sound like you should also be eligible for a freedom pass (free travel)

CundtBake · 28/04/2014 23:38

Fuck it I'll admit I've considered it before when times were really desperate, but looking back on it now I'm glad I didn't. I wouldn't be able to hack the mental damage it would do.

If this is the route you want to go down (although it doesn't seem like it, but I understand the desperation) why don't you try phone lines or webcam work instead?

Please keep yourself safe, something will always come up.

Rocknahardplace · 28/04/2014 23:39

Thank you for the ideas, and being calm voices, my head is just so fucked :( Telesales is a good one especially, I thought I might need experience for that and I'm hopeless at sales but would give it a go.

I have done one night as a stripper a long time ago and hated it, but it was money. It's just awful when you feel that it's the only realistic way out, you know?

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ImAThrillseekerBunny · 28/04/2014 23:40

I agree with the two PPs. Loads of people say "I couldn't possibly do telesales/sex chat lines/astrology phone lines whatever". If you've already decided that you are prepared to contemplate absolutely anything then that gives you a massive advantage - telesales is soul-destroying, but you rarely get beaten up or contract an STD.

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