Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to start escorting?

191 replies

Rocknahardplace · 28/04/2014 23:09

I don't know what else to do :(

Lost my job instead of being made full time as expected. Savings are gone after being part time for almost a year, can survive at most another month's rent.

I live in shared accom with two flatmates, have no partner, no family who can help me. I have a life limiting condition which rules out a few things like bar work (cannot stand for long times due to nerve damage) but refused dla/pip. It;s just me on my own and I'm sinking. At least if I escort and bank a few hundred pounds it might keep a roof over my head and a bit of food on the table for longer.

So upset and heartbroken my life has turned out like this but I don't know what to do. Escorting so I don't lose my home, a permanent address from which to keep applying to jobs seems like the only option. I wouldn't survive in a hostel and would probably have all my things stolen.

OP posts:
Ruushii · 29/04/2014 15:20

Oh, stop being a twat, Annie. Just because you managed on the streets without batting an eyelid doesn't mean everyone else should have to. It's nothing to do with being tougher and everything to do with different life circumstances. Or did you have a life limiting condition too and I've missed that point?

Original poster
Rocknahardplace · 29/04/2014 15:20

Annielouise - again, you have made a poor effort at reading the information I presented.

#1. I never said I was going to 'walk the streets' (er who's being a drama llama now?) in my mind (naive, yup) I thought maybe I could find an agency who took the saety of their workers seriously and offered security. Regarding cash in hand, I'm actually grinning now because I thought (naive again) I would pay tax as an escort, should I have gone down that road.

#2. I never said I was £10 short each month on benefits. I said had £10 left, each week, to cover food, telephone, travel, and keeping myself presentable for interviews. Before spending a cent on any of life's little ongoing emergencies such as a lightbulb, or paying for loo roll when it's my turn in the house, etc, etc. They are not realistic sums to live on.

#3. As I have said several times, I have calmed a little, am rethinking what to do and looking into all the ideas on this thread and am not thinking I am on the brink of having to whore myself out.

Last night was a dark night of the soul for me. Today looks better.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rocknahardplace · 29/04/2014 15:21

*safety of their workers

OP posts:
greenwinter · 29/04/2014 15:25

Rock, please post again if you want more help or just need to vent. I understand that feeling of panic when you feel totally alone with a problem. And we really do want to help you. xx

AnyFucker · 29/04/2014 15:27

Unpaid internships suck

It seems they are only for those with rich mummies and daddies and trust funds

So much for securing permanent jobs on merit, eh ?

annielouise · 29/04/2014 15:29

buffy - get a grip

rock - so you've £10 quid to live off so you don't need that much more to survive - as said, if on benefits and you've £10 to live off you could top up with a cash in hand job (not escorting). Don't know what the rules are but you used to be able to work 4 hours a week without it affecting benefits. Or start temping, plenty of work out there. I find it utterly bizarre you'd consider selling your body when you're not in dire straits.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 29/04/2014 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Rocknahardplace · 29/04/2014 15:38

Annie, my straits are pretty dire. You can keep being dismissive of them all you like. In effect you are gaslighting me, by your repititions that it ain't so bad and I 'should' be able to manage, pull myself up by my bootstraps. This is what I'm referring to when I cite your lack of empathy - you utterly lack the capacity to imagine I might be (for whatever various mixture of circumstances) in a position where escorting looks like a plausible option. I know my circumstances inside out - no, I am not going to share my medical details on an internet forum, but you should respect that I was feeling desperately pushed to consider it last night.

You clearly don't understand how the benefits system works either. It's not quite as simple as taking on a few hours to add those earnings to my current income - any further earnings will cause my benefits to go down in proportion. I cannot think of any cash in hand work apart from bar work or delivering flyers perhaps, which I cannot do due to my health condition and not being able to stand/ walk for long periods of time.

Thank you to everyone else. It means the world to me that you took the time to post thoughtful words and ideas and enccouragement.

OP posts:
annielouise · 29/04/2014 15:47

rock, you really do need to get a grip. I've reread your posts, the language you use is so OTT dramatic I can only think you are a bit of a drama llama as you mentioned. You're in a spot by the sounds of it but you're not in dire straits when all you need to find is maybe another £20-30 a week. As said many times you could temp. Yet one of your early posts you say "i've researched and researched and there's nothing else I can apply for" or something similar! What utter rot. You're in London fgs, there's plenty of odd jobs to top up your benefits (cash in hand - and no I never said I knew how the benefits system worked anymore) or full time office/admin work. Far from dire straits when you said yourself your savings haven't quite run out yet so plenty of time to get on the books of a temp agency.

I'm not gaslighting you - again OTT language.

Original poster
Rocknahardplace · 29/04/2014 15:54

Annie, if you are reduced to criticizing my language you're on a sinking ship. And yes, you are in fact gaslighting by minimizing my distress and anxiety and very real financial worries that will have very fucking real outcomes for me.

It is dire straits TO ME when I do not know where the rent is coming from after May! Who the actual fuck are you to tell me dismissively that is nothing to be worried about?

There are NOT plenty of cash in hand jobs in London, that is pure bullshit. Perhaps ten years ago, not now. Or perhaps if you have contacts, which I don't, because all my friends work in salaried positions.

OP posts:
BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 29/04/2014 15:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GarlicAprilShowers · 29/04/2014 15:59

Rock, please summon up your inner guru Wink Arguing with a goady poster is a massive waste of energy!

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 29/04/2014 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

annielouise · 29/04/2014 16:02

I think you've lost it accusing me of gaslighting you. I think you are a drama llama. I have loads of empathy for people but something just doesn't ring true with this OP. You posted in AIBU first of all, not to me the sign that someone is really in trouble. Seems a tad too dramatic for someone so upset and considering selling their body.

Anyway, good luck. Honestly, you have options, as I and others have said. You need to get it into perspective a bit more that's all. I can understand it's a worry but in all honesty your situation isn't that bad as there are lots of things you can do - just not prostitution as really your situation is no where need that bad yet.

Look on Gumtree. I know some people in London with their own companies that advertise for people to help out sometimes cash in hand for the odd day's work. Someone else mentioned tutoring for £20-30 an hour, which would be cash in hand and might tide you over. Talk to your friends, as someone said no one would like to think you'd consider prostitution for the sake of a short-term loan or practical help in other ways.

Original poster
Rocknahardplace · 29/04/2014 16:03

I'm not engaging with Annielouise anymore, I have said my piece.

Thank you so much for the supportive posts.

OP posts:
neiljames77 · 29/04/2014 16:03

Can you not do pay per minute webcam work? At least you'd be safe.

greenwinter · 29/04/2014 16:08

You don't make money through pay per minute webcam work unless you do pretty awful stuff.

PiratePanda · 29/04/2014 16:16

I believe her on the degrees front - I'd done 4 degrees by the time I was 29. No need to call troll.

CheerfulYank · 29/04/2014 16:16

I don't have any good advice that hasn't already been said but just wanted to add my support. :) You can get through this, Rock!

sarinka · 29/04/2014 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RunnerHasbeen · 29/04/2014 16:21

The tutoring is. really good idea and one you can probably keep doing if you find yourself in another slave labour internship.

Honestly, though, talk to your friends. I would be gutted if someone I cared about felt like this. I would rather buy someone a few glasses of wine than not see them for months and perhaps lose the friendship. Just make a mental note to pay them back in kind if they ever need support - it is simply your turn first. I think I'm about ten years older than you and by now most people I know have had some downs as well as ups, no shame in it at all.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 29/04/2014 16:22

Clutching at strawrs here, but is there any way you could borrow a twenty or so off a friend, and make cupcakes or scones or something to sell at offices. Or sandwiches? I see those people all the time who come in with a tray. I guess you need permission, not sure how it works.

gotnotimeforthat · 29/04/2014 16:42

Did you get this idea after watching rupert everett sex for sale last night?

if you are not working you should be entitled to JSA at the very least. I cant see why you wouldn't be enititled to unless you live with a partner who works ( which you stated you dont)

Housing bennefit should also be awarded.

Hostels are not great, i will give you that but they are not as bad as you think. the doors have locks so rest assured your belongings will be safe and after a few weeks of living in a hostel you usually get 'upgraded' to a house you share with a few other people.

I was made homeless by my mum at 16 i was in and out of hostels for 2-3 years before finding something permanant. I was doubtful and quite scared at first but honestly its not that bad. i think the emotional damage from prostitution would be a lot worse than the damage from living in a hostel.

give the DPW a ring, or try the benefits calculator.

www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

good luck

Skinheadmermaid · 29/04/2014 16:46

When i was interning and on jsa i fed myself for £5-£8 a week. It mostly consisted of bread, eggs and jam. Its shit but it can be done.

gotnotimeforthat · 29/04/2014 16:52

I only just read the post saying you have just £10 for food that sucks but as skinhead said it CAN be done.

do you have an aldi nearby? when i was on jsa i had about the same budget. i used to do a weekly shop at aldi and iceland. a bag of 30 frozen sausages from iceland is £2 30 fishfingers £2... in aldi you can buy enough bread to last you the week for about £1.50

grantedyour meals will be far from luxurious and will perhaps become tedious but at the end of the day its food on your plate.

shop around to find good deals, check the reduced isles in shops etc.