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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to start escorting?

191 replies

Rocknahardplace · 28/04/2014 23:09

I don't know what else to do :(

Lost my job instead of being made full time as expected. Savings are gone after being part time for almost a year, can survive at most another month's rent.

I live in shared accom with two flatmates, have no partner, no family who can help me. I have a life limiting condition which rules out a few things like bar work (cannot stand for long times due to nerve damage) but refused dla/pip. It;s just me on my own and I'm sinking. At least if I escort and bank a few hundred pounds it might keep a roof over my head and a bit of food on the table for longer.

So upset and heartbroken my life has turned out like this but I don't know what to do. Escorting so I don't lose my home, a permanent address from which to keep applying to jobs seems like the only option. I wouldn't survive in a hostel and would probably have all my things stolen.

OP posts:
Quinteszilla · 29/04/2014 11:26

I am with Sarinka here, but his in particular stands out:

You are so far from down-and-out it's unreal.

So, did this thread give you the release you were hankering after, notwithstanding getting to swear at yours truly? Grin

annielouise · 29/04/2014 11:28

What person other than someone with psychopathic tendencies would come out with "I think you should pursue the escorting route", as calmly as if they've suggested catching a bus rather than a train, or something equally mundane. It's not as if this sweet alpha male has qualified it by saying do it for a short time to get your head above water - no, he makes it sound like an easy thing that could be done long term! One that won't completely fuck your mind up!

You're not sweet and you're certainly not an alpha male and I don't think a man anyway should be pushing a supposedly vulnerable woman towards this 'career'. You sound sleazy.

annielouise · 29/04/2014 11:30

Laughable that you accuse someone of being crass after your suggestion she takes up being an escort!

Ruushii · 29/04/2014 11:30

Oh, he's not real. He keeps reregistering to troll. Everyone will ignore this comment though like they did on the last thread I warned on Grin

greenwinter · 29/04/2014 11:30

The pimps are on the thread now

There will now be lots of comments telling us just how much women love being fucked by complete strangers for money. And if we don't agree, we are all just a load of prudes.

annielouise · 29/04/2014 11:31

My best mate owned a brothel in Amsterdam - said so casually. Any inkling that most women would think you vile for associating with men like that?

Hiawatha44 · 29/04/2014 11:33

They are escorts that enjoy the work ... Well the money. You would get away without offering anal but kissing and oral without are standard things offered with the girlfriend experience.

Going with an agency is not guaranteed to keep you safe, as pp said just because a punter has been fine with other girls does not mean he will be with you. You also have to remember that in London there is a lot of working girls so your competition will be tough and you're hourly rate might end up being lower than you like then you would have to consider the agency cut which is on average about 40% but can be as high as 65%.

Equally you say you have disability issues, a lot of agencies work on a conveyor belt system. Would your body really cope with fucking a stranger every hour for up to 11 hours?

I'm glad you've rethought this and hope you stick to the idea of finding other work but if you do decide this is the way to go please be careful and read everything you can about the agency before you ring them and never give them money up front.

greenwinter · 29/04/2014 11:34

Most women in brothels in Amsterdam, are trafficked women. What he actually means is:

My mate owned a business that used trafficked and exploited women, and got money from nen who paid to rape and sexually abuse these women.

MaryWestmacott · 29/04/2014 11:37

OK OP - deep breath and stop panicking. Contact every temp agency in London you can - that at least should keep the wolves from the door for another couple of months, remember we are about to hit holiday season and companies need receptionist and PA cover. If you are degree educated, presentable with office based work experience, they should be able to place you. Take anything to get yourself 'in' to a company- a lot of companies would rather use the same temp again who knows them/how they work.

Explore the other ideas mentioned, the call centre work etc.

People telling you to move are rather missing the point you've signed a contract and while long term that might be a good decision, it won't change the fact you have to pay your rent next month and can't get out of the tenancy that quickly. (However, long term you might want to look at living somewhere cheaper that's commutable to London so that when you are working again you can build up reserves of income for just these sorts of situations.)

Work in the sex industry, including stripping, should be last resort, particularly if you ever hope to have a professional career in the future, you don't want that to come out and discredit you later. (aside from if you'd hate/enjoy the work).

SweetAlphaMale · 29/04/2014 11:40

This reply has been deleted

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Burren · 29/04/2014 11:44

Alpha, your grammar and your attitudes are execrable, Reported.

Fenton · 29/04/2014 11:44

Any woman who you've 'made love to' SweetAlphaMale is fucked, seriously.

MaryWestmacott · 29/04/2014 11:45

Oh and OP - please ignore the pro-prostitution people, it doesn't really matter if its going to be lovely or not, having done it will rule you out for so many roles in the future, and don't believe that very good referencing couldn't turn this up if you were registered with an agency.

Do this and those 2 degrees will be worthless, no large company will ever touch you for a senior role. You might get back in at a junior level, but sex work in your history will put a ceiling on your career - and as a woman with a disability, you've got enough to fight against if you want to make a name for yourself.

Right now, you're in a blip career wise, you can get out of it in a way that still leaves doors open to the future you want or you can get out of it in a way that shuts doors to the future you want. The 'door shut' option might be perfectly fine, but don't blithely go into it without realising you are giving up all your long term aspirations.

Ruushii · 29/04/2014 11:45

.

to start escorting?
Hiawatha44 · 29/04/2014 11:46

So you're a fluffy then sweetalpha.

Adultwork isn't safe, the checks independent working girls do make it safe as possible.

And I personally would say managing an escort is a pimp maybe he doesn't get a cut but I'm sure he gets paid in someway

annielouise · 29/04/2014 11:46

There is everything wrong with going into prostitution when you're doing it as you feel it is a last resort (as rockandahardplace does, if she is to be believed) - that is not choice. There is also everything wrong with some strange male on an internet forum encouraging that and normalising it.

sweetalphamale we really don't want to hear about your love life. You hang around with sleazy people so as far as I'm concerned you're not normal.

SweetAlphaMale · 29/04/2014 11:46

Burren
Why report me, Is it because the truth hurts?

Cupid5tunt · 29/04/2014 11:48

There are no words.

greenwinter · 29/04/2014 11:48

I am so so fed up of pimps on mumsnet.

annielouise · 29/04/2014 11:48

haha, what truth? Ignore, he's just a wind up merchant

SweetAlphaMale · 29/04/2014 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

annielouise · 29/04/2014 11:49

first time I've ever written this - ODFOD (to sweetalphamale, even his name makes me giggle as I'm sure that's so far from the truth)

MaryWestmacott · 29/04/2014 11:53

sweetalphamale - it actually wouldn't matter if the OP had a 'safe' experience as an escort or not, if she found it wasn't as bad as she feared and did sort her short term financial situation.

Long term, it would shut off options for her.

Temping as a PA or working in a shop wouldn't stop you being able to get other roles in the future. Working as an escort probably would, and the days of these sorts of history being secret are gone, the internet makes people tracable.

greenwinter · 29/04/2014 11:54

Women in prostitution in London are 12 times more likely to be murdered than other women. In what other "job" are women so likely to be murdered?

MyrtleDove · 29/04/2014 11:54

You are not normally trafficked in order to be married, though.

Anyway OP, if you have mental and physical health issues then prostitution isn't going to be ideal (not that it's good for anyone).

Re food banks, you have to be referred to a Trussell Trust one (by a GP, social worker etc) but not all independently-run ones. Try local churches - you don't have to be a member or religious to use them, and many churches also offer financial advice sessions.

You have lots of options.