To want someone to take my baby away :-(

[MrsSeanBean1]

I know I am being unreasonable and I feel so guilty but if someone came to the door and offered to take my baby i would give him to them. I just can't listen to him crying anymore, he has cried for 24 hours with barely a break.

We have been in and out of hospital with him since he was born 6 weeks ago- poor weight gain, explosive nappies, stomach pain, projectile vomiting, never sleeping. He has been diagnosed with reflux/milk intolerance but I don't think anyone really knows for sure what is wrong with him.

We have tried about 4 different milks as breastfeeding made his symptoms even worse as no one advised me to try cutting out dairy. We were finally prescribed Neocate milk on Friday which we were told was the best- absolutely nothing in it to be intolerant to. Today he has been worse than ever and I don't think I can take anymore. Has anyone tried Neocate? Does it take a while to work? This was my last hope and now I feel hopeless.

My husband is very good but we have to look after him in shifts so someone is awake with him all of the time as he will never settle. I can't see an end to this and it's all getting too much. I have spoken to the HV but what can she say or do to help? Not much apart from to say it will get better eventually. I know that but eventually seems so far away when you're doing the nightshift with a baby that won't stop screaming. I've just sat for 10 minutes outside in the rain in my pajamas just to get a break from the crying. I have no one other than hubby to offer practical support due to family illness.

I went through hell to get my babies and should just be grateful I have them so why do I feel like this? How do you get through it with your sanity intact?

So glad you've managed to talk and rest! Fingers crossed that things can only get better xx

On the bad days please remember we can't always be the mummy we want to be xx

Am so relieved you posted OP, have been thinking about you a lot and wondering how things were going. Great that you have been talking to DH.

I'm late to the thread Mrs SB and am glad to see you are feeling a little better. My DS2 had the laughably named silent reflux and underlying cows milk and soya protein intolerances and the first few months with him were hellish. Cutting out the allergens and omeprazole did help us turn a corner with him, and the website Little Refluxers was invaluable as a source of advice and support. I would cheerfully have swapped him for a Westlife CD at several points in his babyhood but we did emerge the other side, and so will you.

I'm so glad things are going a bit better for you xxxx

So glad you managed to talk to dh he sounds like a star!

Another latecomer, so glad there were lots of others with words of support.
Silent reflux / cmpi (causing awful constipation) here also. First baby. Felt like I was losing my mind and massively regretted procreating some days, mentioned the 'A' word as I was convinced anyone could do better than I was (which just makes you feel even more guilty and shit about yourself..) It's HARD.
But fast forward a year and we're off the Omeprazole, Senna, suppositories - never thought we'd get there!
Big turnaround was going to the GP (again!) and demanding to see a paediatrician. We also had been given Ranitidine at a&e - but with no follow up care and the medicine being so weight-dependant, it wasn't the breakthrough we were after. Turns out that dose could be trebled(!) till we saw the paediatric consultant, who was marvellous. Omeprazole, lowest dose AND nurses sent round to the house twice a week to save us going to hospital every week and get the dose right more quickly. Went up to max dose and something better than lactulose to make him poo!
Best thing I ever did, sitting in that GP surgery and insisting he was not 'fine' as he was gaining weight, babies don't scream for a laugh.. Couldn't believe there was so much help available.to us, after getting fobbed off for so long!!
Your OH sounds brilliant, stick together and you WILL get through it. That's all I have to offer! Will keep.following this to see how you're getting on. It's frustrating trying to explain to people in RL - who haven't dealt with reflux - just how draining it is.
Much love
Xxx

I have not read the whole thread, but felt the need to post after seeing to very good friends go through this with their babies. Apologies if I'm repeating advice given previously.

Besides changing to Neocate and using meds to help their babies, both my friends found that using an upright baby carrier for eg. Baby Bjorn made a huge difference to their lives.

Right now you don't need to worry about a routine, sleep training or any of the other things books or people may warn you of by "carrying" your baby around all day. You both need a break and this made the difference.

Ask Sure-Start about volunteers to come to your house. They can come for a couple of hours a week, or more if needed. They aren't allowed to do housework for you, but they look after your kids while you can sleep/shower/read - anything really apart from going out.

I sympathise. I'm a single parent with no local family support, and I remember some very dark times when the kids were little. I remember once being in bed with my newborn and my 3 year old (who refused to sleep alone). My newborn did a huge sloppy poo and it leaked through his nappy and soaked the sheets, but neither of the kids woke up. I was so exhausted that I just went back to sleep, lying there in a pile of poo! They don't tell you about those times in the baby books do they!!

Coconutty not to wish my life away but I am now realising that being a grandparent is going to be the perfect outlet for nature tables etc and the best bit will be handing the children back at the end of all the fun!

Some good resources here too - I got the Moses Basket wedge and it was very good:

www.babyreflux.co.uk/

So glad you had a chat with your DH. Do remember you both need to take care of yourselves as well as your children. Good luck going forward, things will get better.

Forgot to mention - although LO is off his meds, I am still on my ADs!! I'm not gonna attempt to come off them again until life's been rosy for a good long time. :0)
If you don't feel like yourself there is absolutely no shame in taking something for it. We wouldn't suffer physically without going to the doctors, I'm not sure why there is still such stigma about mental health.

Fantastic SB I am really chuffed for you all. Your dh sounds wonderful, wish there were more like him. You will come out of the other side, you will. I muddled along for about 2 years wishing dd life away until she was older and dud not cry and howl all the time. She is a gorgeous little girl, very settled and happy, and the first 3 years of her life seems a world away and it will be for you too.

It brought out the worse in me. You have this rose tinted image of his parenthood or motherhood should be, it can be shocking and surprising when it dies nit fit that ideal image. This is exacerbated by other mothers whose babies seem so much calmer and easier

So pleased to hear from you, and very glad you're feeling a bit better now things are out in the open.

So pleased mrs. I was very worried. Your dh sounds amazing and very understanding. You will get through this. Sleep makes things look a lot better. Xxxx

So pleased to hear that

Really pleased that you've been able to talk to your DH and that you've got a little more sleep! I really struggled in the early days with my DD and felt that it would never end, but it did eventually and now she's a happy 7 year-old. Things really do change

Hi I have never posted before but this thread sounded just like me. I have a 19 week old little boy who has severe reflux and milk protein allergy (amongst others). For the first 8 weeks of his life we spent almost every other day at the doctors and trying to get answers to his constant screaming and aversion to milk. Within days of his birth I knew what was up after a lot of research but being a first time mum I think the doctors thought I was being fussy and not coping with normal crying! I knew my little boy was sick and it was so difficult to get the help. After a stint in hospital on I fluids for a severe skin infraction ( later to be told it was a reaction) they finally listened and we started on gaviscon..... We then went to lactose free milk and I finally got a referral to the paediatrician. Within 30 seconds of meeting my son he said 'I can hear just from the noise he is making he has severe reflux' and after seeing him feed and explaining that even on the first night in hospital he was sick 14 times despite having just a couple of ounces of milk he also said he felt he had a variety of allergies. He gave him renitidine and neocote...... Sorry it's a long post but fast forward 10 weeks and I have a very content, gorgeous little boy. On my darkest days I just wanted to run but I kept on fighting... Just as you have and now I could not be happier. My son still has problems, if we lay him down too much or op soon he has severe relapses that can last for days, but I finally feel we have learnt how to best deal with his illnesses and now, even though I have days where I do fear changes e.g weaning, I know we will get through it. What I am trying to say is it does get better and my husband sounds just like yours.... He had a few days of work to support me when I totally broke down one night refusing to leave the bathroom!! From then onwards I have been a lot better and continue to talk when I have a dip.... I sincerely hope you get the happier outcome that I have. Sending you huge hugs and support as I know just how you feel, you will get through it!

Sorry for the awful English and lack of punctuation, I am typing on my phone!!

OP I am so pleased to read your latest update. How are things now?

Just wondering how you're getting on now, OP..? X

9 years ago my second daughter had really bad gastric reflux and was on meds, the only thing which worked for me was letting her sleep upright in a graco rocking car seat i would line with fleece blankets. If i laid her flat to scream she wouldn't sleep but upright she would.

I actually could have written the first post....going through exactly the same.... My baby was born almost six weeks ago at 34 weeks and since then we have been on the most exhausting, heartbreaking rollercoaster... after many gp visits and a hospital admission we have been told she has silent reflux and a suspected CMPI - after many milk changes - Nutraprem, C&G infant 1, C&G comfort milk, back to C&G infant 1, Nutramigen Lipel - we started on Nutramigen AA three days ago. We are also on Ranitidine 0.55 of a dose three times a day and carobel to thicken the milk and have been now for a few weeks. Since the milk change things have not been good... Explosive loose nappies almost after every feed, screams like she's in pain, lots of bottom wind, reflux is not under control - she's comfort feeding, snuffly all the time, burping which makes her cry and hiccups... I've had basically no sleep now since she was born, I'm exhausted, feel like I'm slipping into depression and can't see any way out of this as I cant seem to help my baby....