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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want someone to take my baby away :-(

252 replies

MrsSeanBean1 · 13/04/2014 20:39

I know I am being unreasonable and I feel so guilty but if someone came to the door and offered to take my baby i would give him to them. I just can't listen to him crying anymore, he has cried for 24 hours with barely a break.

We have been in and out of hospital with him since he was born 6 weeks ago- poor weight gain, explosive nappies, stomach pain, projectile vomiting, never sleeping. He has been diagnosed with reflux/milk intolerance but I don't think anyone really knows for sure what is wrong with him.

We have tried about 4 different milks as breastfeeding made his symptoms even worse as no one advised me to try cutting out dairy. We were finally prescribed Neocate milk on Friday which we were told was the best- absolutely nothing in it to be intolerant to. Today he has been worse than ever and I don't think I can take anymore. Has anyone tried Neocate? Does it take a while to work? This was my last hope and now I feel hopeless.

My husband is very good but we have to look after him in shifts so someone is awake with him all of the time as he will never settle. I can't see an end to this and it's all getting too much. I have spoken to the HV but what can she say or do to help? Not much apart from to say it will get better eventually. I know that but eventually seems so far away when you're doing the nightshift with a baby that won't stop screaming. I've just sat for 10 minutes outside in the rain in my pajamas just to get a break from the crying. I have no one other than hubby to offer practical support due to family illness.

I went through hell to get my babies and should just be grateful I have them so why do I feel like this? How do you get through it with your sanity intact?

OP posts:
DescribeTheRuckus · 16/04/2014 19:49

Just wanted to be another to tell you you're not alone! My DD had reflux, and like you, I felt like I would go mad from the crying and lack of sleep. I also had a 15 month old DS, a whopping case of PND, and no friends or family around to help. It was the worst 6 weeks of my life!! Omeprazole changed her overnight, and once she felt better, you never knew a sweeter, happier baby!

Good luck and hang in there...I know how awful it is. Enjoy your sleep!

BigPigLittlePig · 16/04/2014 19:52

Explain to dh how bad you are feeling.

B & B for the night with earplugs and Wine

And then go back a little more refreshed.

It is shit and I'm sorry for that.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 16/04/2014 20:04

You can get through this Mrs but you need a break. Talk to you DH, and you GP again. I wish I could come take you DD out for a couple of of hours while you sleep. Much love and mumsnet hugs.

ANiceSitDownAndACuppa · 16/04/2014 20:23

Please hang in there, this is the worst bit. Can you go for a walk for a bit while it's still a bit light? Do something outside the house that makes you feel like you - late-opening hairdressers? gin and tonic on a park bench?! I would come and hold dd for a bit if I could. You will get through this. Save this thread so you can look back at it when times are soooo much easier, and see how far you have come.

ithoughtofitfirst · 16/04/2014 20:30

You NEED more support. Right now.

Get some ASAP. Legit.

When I was about 7 weeks post partum I literally wanted to jump in the river and drown.

Do you not have ANYONE that can come and help you? Even a neighbour? anyone???

Longtalljosie · 16/04/2014 20:39

Right - you need help as soon as possible.

Family? Health Visitor?

Whereabouts in the UK are you?

Ranitidine takes a few days to kick in...

cloggal · 16/04/2014 20:41
Sad

OP you are good enough. Please speak to your DH. Call the Samaritans and have a rant. The hairdressers or your equivalent is a great idea, you need some time away. Desperately. Where are you in the country, someone will be nearby who will be able to help.

ICanSeeTheSun · 16/04/2014 20:42

You need some help now.

cloggal · 16/04/2014 20:42

And GP/Health Visitor tomorrow rather than going away - you think they will judge, they honestly won't.

realitygone · 16/04/2014 20:44

op

I haven't read the full thread.

Can you send me a pm? I may be able to help you re theproblems

My dd had an operation and severe problems with reflux & intolerance

Coconutty · 16/04/2014 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IComeFromALandDownUnder · 16/04/2014 21:12

Thinking of you and holding your hand Mrs.

Hope you get the help and break you need xxx

Geordiegirl79 · 16/04/2014 21:52

Mrs are you there? Can you let us know how you are doing? Have just been reading through this thread and really worried about you. Please please tall to DH if you haven't already.

Aeroflotgirl · 16/04/2014 22:20

Oh no you can do it you can you can. If I can you most certainly can. Go to the GP ASAP, you need help. My dd was not vomiting but she was the howling baby from hell and did not really stop until 5 (she has ASD) she is now 7 and so different, I live her so much and ds 2 too. Big hugs and Flowers oh and Cake

drawohamme · 16/04/2014 22:23

More hugs here OP. Went through similar due to lactose intolerance. Took me forever to bond and not just feel like I'd ruined my life.

9 months and a million unusually solid poos later (nutramigen for us) I love him to bits Smile

Practically I can only second the warm bath advice. Really helps for gassy tummies and constipation.

Runningtrainers · 16/04/2014 22:39

Where are you OP?

barnet · 16/04/2014 22:51

Haven't read the whole thread, sorry, but have you tried lactose-free formula?
My DD was very similar and that is what helped in the end. In the short term though, you need a break. It is a form of torture, you need a bit of headspace.
It will get easier. Xx

ProfessorSkullyMental · 16/04/2014 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProfessorSkullyMental · 16/04/2014 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlbertoFrog · 16/04/2014 23:13

Please please hang in there Mrs. You are a far better mum than you realise. You just need a break.

Sending you loads of hugs and praying for your family Thanks

Dawndonnaagain · 16/04/2014 23:28

Please talk to your GP and your DH, you will feel better but you need some help right now. Whereabouts are you?

Matildaandthematches · 16/04/2014 23:32

OP, do hope you are ok. If you can do nothing else, why not email a link to this thread to a couple of friends or your DH. I know if I got an email like that I'd be straight round there. It's a long weekend coming up. Someone you know wouk surely stay at yours for just one night even and let you sleep at theirs. Sleep deprivation sends you completely mad. You're not alone. It's hideous and anyone who remembers the newborn weeks and had it as fraction as bad as you do will want to help.

In the meantime remember one day you'll be dragging your son out of his bed as a teenager and joking with him about how he never slept as a baby and now look at him. Awful as it is now, it will pass eventually. You're doing a great job but ask for the help you (and anyone in your situation) would need and deserve.

Cuddlydragon · 16/04/2014 23:32

Oh OP, you are a good mum, if you're still reading this thread my heart goes out to you. Can you at least talk to your DP about how you feel or anyone in RL? I can completely understand how you feel-its so lonely. Could you consider talking to your GP about how you feel?

Pumpkinette · 17/04/2014 01:09

Hi OP. Not read through all the comments yet so sorry if I'm repeating anything.

For reflux:

  1. Get DR Browns bottles they are great for reducing the amount of air the baby takes with his feed.
  1. Put a rolled up blanket under the matress at the head of the cot/ crib / Moses basket. You can buy a cot wedge but blanket works fine. Sleeping flat will aggrivate reflux.
  1. Don't put baby in car seats / baby swing or bouncer for any length of time as the angle they sit at puts pressure in the stomach and again aggrivates reflux.

This link is for the baby reflux website an has lots of great info (I'm linking the reflux info page and not the bit where they sell stuff) I wouldn't have survived the first couple of months had I not found it.

Reflux

BritabroadinAsia · 17/04/2014 02:11

Mrs Sean Bean, sending you huge hugs - you have been coping with SO much and I'm not surprised at all that you feel so desperate....

When I had PND after first baby (family at other end of the country) I remember asking a former colleague, lovely girl but not a particularly close friend, for help and she came round and took DD out for a few hours so I could sleep... I was so grateful. Is there ANYONE who could take him, or let you stay? Really, anyone at all? I was amazed by the kindness I received from her and others who I hadn't really expected to be willing to support.

I know that your family have their own commitments in looking after your ill grandparents, but sweetheart, this is a crisis. Is there any way you can ask for some limited help from them? They love you and I am sure they would want to support you if they possibly can - have you asked? I'm sure you feel you don't want to burden them, but please tell them how awful things are for you. Ask your friends, neighbours, anyone who could possibly help you, you absolutely need respite.

Sending Thanks to you, your lovely DH and DCs. Really, really hope your baby turns a corner with the meds soon.

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