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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want someone to take my baby away :-(

252 replies

MrsSeanBean1 · 13/04/2014 20:39

I know I am being unreasonable and I feel so guilty but if someone came to the door and offered to take my baby i would give him to them. I just can't listen to him crying anymore, he has cried for 24 hours with barely a break.

We have been in and out of hospital with him since he was born 6 weeks ago- poor weight gain, explosive nappies, stomach pain, projectile vomiting, never sleeping. He has been diagnosed with reflux/milk intolerance but I don't think anyone really knows for sure what is wrong with him.

We have tried about 4 different milks as breastfeeding made his symptoms even worse as no one advised me to try cutting out dairy. We were finally prescribed Neocate milk on Friday which we were told was the best- absolutely nothing in it to be intolerant to. Today he has been worse than ever and I don't think I can take anymore. Has anyone tried Neocate? Does it take a while to work? This was my last hope and now I feel hopeless.

My husband is very good but we have to look after him in shifts so someone is awake with him all of the time as he will never settle. I can't see an end to this and it's all getting too much. I have spoken to the HV but what can she say or do to help? Not much apart from to say it will get better eventually. I know that but eventually seems so far away when you're doing the nightshift with a baby that won't stop screaming. I've just sat for 10 minutes outside in the rain in my pajamas just to get a break from the crying. I have no one other than hubby to offer practical support due to family illness.

I went through hell to get my babies and should just be grateful I have them so why do I feel like this? How do you get through it with your sanity intact?

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 13/04/2014 20:54

You poor love. No advice to offer except this too will pass.

Coconutty · 13/04/2014 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MrsSeanBean1 · 13/04/2014 20:54

I have been with him to A&E twice since he was born . They were very good and admitted us for a few days. However , they then give us different milk/ medication to try and discharge us 2 days later. Also , I can only stay in over the weekend as my husband cannot have anymore time off work and I have a 2 year old to look after .

OP posts:
Edenviolet · 13/04/2014 20:55

Neocate can initially cause more wind but should soon settle once your baby is used to it after a few feeds. It can also turn poo an alarming green colour-don't worry!
My ds1 was cmp allergic and still has neocate (advance) now and he's seven!

Omeprazole is a lot better than gaviscon or ranitidine so ask the gp for that. I also found that letting ds sleep slightly raised (couple of Muslins under his head under the cot sheet or books raising head end of the cot helped) also baby massage helped ds1 and 2, they sometimes cried through it a bit but were always more settled after.

Good luck x

thebody · 13/04/2014 20:56

No more advice than the others but wanted to send hugs and Flowers and if course I know not helpful but it will get better. Xxx

Sirzy · 13/04/2014 20:57

Can't offer any advice but just wanted to wish you good luck, I hope things improve soon x

Pleasenomorepeppa · 13/04/2014 20:58

Both mine have had reflux. DD2 used to have seizures because of the pain.
Omeprezole & Aptimal Pepti were a godsend. She's 15 months now & still on Omeprezole.
I used to carry her in a stretchy wrap everywhere.
I'm in North London if that's close to you? I'm always happy to hold a screaming baby Thanks.

tattyteddy · 13/04/2014 20:58

Wanted to send hugs too. I hope things get better very quickly for you xx

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 13/04/2014 20:58

MrsSean if you are in or around Cardiff, I will come and give you a break if you would like.

AMillionNameChangesLater · 13/04/2014 20:59

Roughly where are you OP? If you're anywhere near me I'd be happy to help, even if it's to hold the baby. I have a ds(2.5) and a 13 wk old. Hang in there

Anchorage · 13/04/2014 20:59

On the medical side you need to switch till you find the right thing.

One of the best things we did was get an Amby baby hammock. Meant we could actually put our child down for the first time since she had been born.

This is the worst bit. Nothing else compares. It gets easier.

Cigarettesandsmirnoff · 13/04/2014 21:01

Oh dear! Flowers sounds like my friend. Her dd was 12 weeks before they took any notice. Had all the milks, dr thought new mum was being neurotic , even told my friend that her six week old was putting on her high pitch in pain scream. Her dd started to refuse to feed and the dr told her to starve her as she will soon feed when hungry Shock

She ended up camping at the hospital refusing to leave ordered a second opinion. Her dd was seen by some one else, put on a drip. She was actually very poorly with GERD and a milk intolerance. Was told to start weaning ASAP .

Keep going back to the doctor. Ask for second opinions .

Good luck.

Kerfuffled · 13/04/2014 21:03

Mrs Bean - I've just been through similar with DS1. He's now been diagnosed with CMPI and reflux yet it took 10 weeks to get things sorted out. We had 3 visits to A&E and I was politely told not to go back. No one seemed to believe me that something was wrong. However after finally being changed to Neocate and being put on Ranitidine things are much better. Like you I would happily have handed him over in those early weeks. Don't let up; keep going to A&E or your GP until things have improved. You will get through it.

Original poster
MrsSeanBean1 · 13/04/2014 21:03

My DD was similar (although not as bad) and we had more family support then so we could have the odd night off . Baby has had scans , X-rays, everything and nothing has been found. Obstructions have been ruled out . Final scan is a hip scan on Wednesday as he was breech for 41 weeks of the pregnancy and so his legs are more 'froggy' like than normal but the paediatrician thinks it will just resolve and be fine .

We are in Shropshire, near Telford

OP posts:
deakymom · 13/04/2014 21:03

tummy rubs for gas round in a circle (clockwise) bicycle legs try a prince lionheart bear it has a inset which has whooshy noises my fussy son finds very soothing if you can get a tummy tub they are fantastic for this if not just use a deep bucket warm water they bob and are soothed

www.google.co.uk/search?q=tummy+tub&oq=tummy+tub&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l5.3847j0j7&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8

www.google.co.uk/search?q=prince+lionheart+slumber+bear&oq=prince+lionheart+&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.7532j0j9&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8

JuliaScurr · 13/04/2014 21:04

have you tried Mumsnet local? (right side top of page)

Original poster
MrsSeanBean1 · 13/04/2014 21:05

Kerfuffled - how long did it take on Neocate to see an improvement?

OP posts:
NigellasGuest · 13/04/2014 21:05

I can't give any advice that hasn't already been given but my heart goes out to you OP....
are you in Herts by any chance, if so I can come over and give some moral support

kayxmx · 13/04/2014 21:07

I would ask for a second opinion my friends baby was exactly the same and they kept saying reflux and viral. but she kept on with it every night in hospital you know your baby better than anyone trust your instinct. My friend found out after 6 months back and forward that her son had Neuroblastoma. I don't mean to scare you but the doctors do seam to have hardly any time lately with the new 4hour time limit coming in to place see as many doctors as you can. wish you all the luck in the world hope you get everything sorted soon x

mummywithsmiles · 13/04/2014 21:08

Hi my daughters suffer with severe reflex due to other health issues , i have to feed her small amount every hour and she is on 4 diff typed of meds for it ... Is he on anything.

Ijustworemytrenchcoat · 13/04/2014 21:09

Can I give you a link to this site, it's about a technique to calm babies. Obviously do go to A&E/call NHS Direct if you are at all concerned though. I dismissed any idea of swaddling because at first it didn't work. I came back to it later after desperation and have to say a slightly modified version of this did help to calm him. I used to swaddle him just lightly, say shhh over and over while holding him tummy to tummy and gently bouncing him up and down in my arms while swaying side to side.

Your baby sounds similar to mine, I struggled so much. He is my first, and at the moment the idea of ever having to go through it again sends me into a cold sweat. He just screamed non stop, I was so frazzled there were days I couldn't put him down. People kept saying he would grow out of it at 12 weeks, if was actually around 10 weeks. I know it's no kind of consolation when you are right in the middle. I used to say 'but that's a month away, I can't go on that long' but you'll get there.

Do you have any friends who could come round and just hold him, walk around with him to give you a break? You really need it. I'm thinking of you, and hope you can both get some real life support.

LaQueenOfTheSpring · 13/04/2014 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummywithsmiles · 13/04/2014 21:16

Also there offering my daughter surgery i know how you feel its exhausting if you need anything message me.

fluffyraggies · 13/04/2014 21:17

Skin to skin cuddling? Soothing for baby.

(i'm sure you know/have tried all this)

gordyslovesheep · 13/04/2014 21:18

Big uncharacteristic hugs OP Thanks

this will pass I promise xxxxxxxxxxx

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