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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want someone to take my baby away :-(

252 replies

MrsSeanBean1 · 13/04/2014 20:39

I know I am being unreasonable and I feel so guilty but if someone came to the door and offered to take my baby i would give him to them. I just can't listen to him crying anymore, he has cried for 24 hours with barely a break.

We have been in and out of hospital with him since he was born 6 weeks ago- poor weight gain, explosive nappies, stomach pain, projectile vomiting, never sleeping. He has been diagnosed with reflux/milk intolerance but I don't think anyone really knows for sure what is wrong with him.

We have tried about 4 different milks as breastfeeding made his symptoms even worse as no one advised me to try cutting out dairy. We were finally prescribed Neocate milk on Friday which we were told was the best- absolutely nothing in it to be intolerant to. Today he has been worse than ever and I don't think I can take anymore. Has anyone tried Neocate? Does it take a while to work? This was my last hope and now I feel hopeless.

My husband is very good but we have to look after him in shifts so someone is awake with him all of the time as he will never settle. I can't see an end to this and it's all getting too much. I have spoken to the HV but what can she say or do to help? Not much apart from to say it will get better eventually. I know that but eventually seems so far away when you're doing the nightshift with a baby that won't stop screaming. I've just sat for 10 minutes outside in the rain in my pajamas just to get a break from the crying. I have no one other than hubby to offer practical support due to family illness.

I went through hell to get my babies and should just be grateful I have them so why do I feel like this? How do you get through it with your sanity intact?

OP posts:
Sierraspider · 17/04/2015 21:17

Sorry deedee I didnt realise this thread was old and you are having problems too? Have a hug too. X

MrsPeabody · 17/04/2015 21:31

Dee dee you would probably get better help starting a new thread.

Lorgy · 17/04/2015 21:38

No practical advice as my youngest didn't have reflux but she was 4 weeks premature and a high needs baby so the crying and needing to be held all the time was relentless. Please ask anybody and everybody for help, it's so tough what you are doing and you have to keep your strength up somehow.

CountryMummy1 · 17/04/2015 21:41

Just seen that my old thread has been resurrected. I just wanted to let everything know that once my baby hit 5 months and he went onto solids the reflux went away. We started having some sleep and everything seemed brighter. It got better and better and now he is a gorgeous 14 month old who I love more than life itself. It does get better if you can just hang in there.....although I won't be having anymore Smile

landrover · 17/04/2015 22:01

Oh Country, such a lovely ending, thank you for posting xxxx

Stopandlook · 17/04/2015 22:03

Country that's a wonderful update - - hope it gives anyone else struggling hope Flowers

IndecisionCentral · 17/04/2015 22:05

Oh that's such a lovely update, countrymummy1. My DS had me sobbig on the floor with exhaustion and I recognised the desperation in your original posts.

So pleased for you that you've not only survived it but managed to form a strong bond with your DS too. You have good reason to be hugely proud of that achievement.

CountryMummy1 · 17/04/2015 22:14

I am lucky enough to be a SAHM and I can honestly say that I love every day I spend with my 2 children. Everything just keeps getting easier and we now have some truly wonderful days altogether Smile

Donthate · 17/04/2015 22:48

What a fantastic update I'm so glad things got so much better for you. Smile

InterOuta · 17/04/2015 22:51

What a lovely update and I can relate to your experience, as well as the part about having no more Smile

Out of interest, did your LO have any confirmed allergies/intolerances when you weaned/now?

InterOuta · 17/04/2015 22:53

People that are saying ranitidine didn't work and omperazole did ... I wonder if this has anything to do with the omperazole may be surpressing an allergic reaction and the real problem is an allergy, which is causing the reflux? Sorry thinking aloud.

CountryMummy1 · 17/04/2015 23:09

Omeprazole stops the production of acid whereas ranitidine only lessens it I believe. My DS and DD grew out of their milk intolerances by about 9 months although neither of them like plain old milk much.

SandysMam · 18/04/2015 08:35

Flowers Dee dee, hang on in there, you are doing a great job. Be good to have an update from original OP a year on!

Kim82 · 18/04/2015 08:57

Deedee my dd sounds exactly the same as your baby. She is my fourth baby and I thought I was losing my mind. She screamed all day, every day for months. She was eventually put on nutramigen aa (which doesn't contain cows milk, it's amino acid based) and was put on omeprazole and she was a changed baby with a couple of days. Her dose has been upped as she grows (she is now on 20mg of omeprazole daily at 9 months old). Ranitidine didn't work at all, she needed stronger medicine so maybe ask if your baby can have omeprazole instead. My dd has been admitted to hospital in the past due to her reflux, she got to the point where she was refusing to feed as she was in so much pain but it seems to be under control now.

You will get there in the end, just keep taking them back if you feel the treatment isn't working.

Just as an aside, as and when you start weaning keep an eye out for other allergies/intolerances. I've found dd is intolerant to certain sugars found in some fruit so have to steer clear of them. Good luck, feel free to pm me if I can help any further

EvilTendency1 · 18/04/2015 09:31

I'm a mug, I've just read this thread in it's entirety thinking 'OMG this brings back lots and lots of memories of feeling a failure and hiding in wardrobes (yes really!) to cry in private at the thought of being a shit mother and why won't my baby stop crying ?!'

I truely hoped and hoped the situation would change for MrsSB then read the update and burst into tears glad for you that it all resolved and things changed for you. Hmm I don't usually get emotional like that.

must be some leftover pregnancy hormones kicking around in the system

DeeDee1122 · 18/04/2015 09:32

Thanks everyone for the replies and support.... It does sound like sticking with the nutramigen AA is a plan and see how she responds and also get back to the docs about thhe ranitidine not managing her reflux. - Cant imagine life if this all worked and helped her.... All you ladies who have been through similar experiences sound so strong and brave.

CountryMummy1 · 18/04/2015 23:33

Nutramigen didn't work for us. Neocate is the best milk to have as it has no milk products in at all but they are reluctant to prescribe it at £35 a tub. However, it is the best x

CountryMummy1 · 18/04/2015 23:34

Also thickening the milk with Carobel available from boots pharmacy was a life saver for us

CountryMummy1 · 18/04/2015 23:40

Also look at the reflux sleeping wedge. It was the only thing our baby could sleep on

Anotheronesoon · 18/04/2015 23:52

Haven't read all the replies but wanted to say my firstborn was similar- so horrible to watch them so upset all. The. Time! I would advise go straight to omeprazole and make sure you up the dose regularly as his weight goes up- every couple of weeks or so. Also I wore mine in a sling and the combo of being upright and being held close helped him j think.
Hang on in there it is so hard but they do come out the other side. My two year old is such a cheeky happy smiley boy - so different to the first few months of his life when he was genuinely in pain and unhappy all the time! Remember this too shall pass. Stay strong x

DeeDee1122 · 19/04/2015 00:13

I think that from all of the feedback moving to omeprazole seems to be the next step. I'm going to contact the gp on Monday and make the request.
We've tried carobel but it seemed to give her very bad wind and we had screaming while she tried to fart! we currently aren't using with the nutramigen AA and see if her gut improves.... Anythings worth a try eh..?...

lougle · 19/04/2015 08:00

With the carobel, you need to experiment with how much you give. If she's having wind, give a little less. You want just enough to stop the reflux, but not so much that she's constipated.

DeeDee1122 · 19/04/2015 10:27

My wee one has been so bunged up sounding in actuality a bit worried. She sounds like she has a blocked nose, she sounds hoarse and is making squeaky sounds when she breathes. Is this normal side effect of reflux? Please reply - am starting to freak out a bit...

Kim82 · 20/04/2015 07:48

If her reflux is so bad she may have a really sore throat caused by the stomach acid coming up which is causing the hoarseness. My dd had this and they prescribed a throat spray (difflam) as it got so sore she was refusing to feed. Your dd sounds like she could also have a cold if she is snotty and congested. Try a calpol plug in, saline drops for her nose and snuffle babe to see if that helps clear the blocked nose. I hope she feels better soon.

DeeDee1122 · 21/04/2015 18:12

I don't think I can do this
I really don't
I don't even feel anything. I feel numb
weeks of reflux CPMI doctors hospitals new medications - constant crying, no sleep, stuck in the house
babies now hoarse....
i want to leave now