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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want someone to take my baby away :-(

252 replies

MrsSeanBean1 · 13/04/2014 20:39

I know I am being unreasonable and I feel so guilty but if someone came to the door and offered to take my baby i would give him to them. I just can't listen to him crying anymore, he has cried for 24 hours with barely a break.

We have been in and out of hospital with him since he was born 6 weeks ago- poor weight gain, explosive nappies, stomach pain, projectile vomiting, never sleeping. He has been diagnosed with reflux/milk intolerance but I don't think anyone really knows for sure what is wrong with him.

We have tried about 4 different milks as breastfeeding made his symptoms even worse as no one advised me to try cutting out dairy. We were finally prescribed Neocate milk on Friday which we were told was the best- absolutely nothing in it to be intolerant to. Today he has been worse than ever and I don't think I can take anymore. Has anyone tried Neocate? Does it take a while to work? This was my last hope and now I feel hopeless.

My husband is very good but we have to look after him in shifts so someone is awake with him all of the time as he will never settle. I can't see an end to this and it's all getting too much. I have spoken to the HV but what can she say or do to help? Not much apart from to say it will get better eventually. I know that but eventually seems so far away when you're doing the nightshift with a baby that won't stop screaming. I've just sat for 10 minutes outside in the rain in my pajamas just to get a break from the crying. I have no one other than hubby to offer practical support due to family illness.

I went through hell to get my babies and should just be grateful I have them so why do I feel like this? How do you get through it with your sanity intact?

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 13/04/2014 23:08

I have no practical advice to offer, but i do know it is hell when they don't sleep and you don't sleep.

MontyDonnsgirl · 13/04/2014 23:23

My child had the usual concoction of ranitidine omeprazole domperidone Neocate and gaviscon and although the domperidone upset him at first it made a real difference to his vomiting. He had silent reflux and would bring up a bit of bile and then cough and cough. Our paed also prescribed ketotifen which was to help him (and us) sleep.

Insist on seeing a paediatrician with an interest in gastrology. If you can lay your hands on £150 ish get a private consultation ASAP. It does get better but fuck me it's hard at first.

mummywithsmiles · 14/04/2014 00:27

Monty that is exactly what my daughter is on ! She also coughs alot.

Original poster
MrsSeanBean1 · 14/04/2014 02:43

Well, he has been asleep for a few hours (think he is exhausted) so I've had a bit of a break and am feeling a bit better. Also managed a fish finger sandwich - hardly nutritionally complete but was all I fancied. Hubby is taking over at 5am so I can get a few hours sleep before he goes to work. He's in education so gets all of next week off! I can't wait and am just clinging into that. Just got to get through this week.

Baby has been fussing and straining whilst asleep so not sure if the Neocate is making him constipated as he has hardly pooed today. Going to give him some cooled, boiled water when he wakes up just in case. 2 hours to go before I can go to bed!! Woohoo

OP posts:
eightandthreequarters · 14/04/2014 03:00

Hang in there, Mrs! Sending useless but heartfelt hugs.

ICanSeeTheSun · 14/04/2014 03:01

It will get better and someone is on MN at all times, so regardless of time someone will be here.

LadyCybilCrawley · 14/04/2014 03:09

Hang in there honey - I didn't sleep more than 2 hours in a row for my sons first year - it makes you understand why sleep deprivation is used as torture - however my 10 year old now sleeps 12 hours a night - so we got there in the end

Tell me love .. Has he put on weight ?

LibraryMum8 · 14/04/2014 04:37

I'm so sorry. Ds had bad reflux and we found the lactose intolerant formula was 'the best of the worst ' even though technically they say they can't diagnose lactose intolerance until age 2. Regardless it still worked better than the others for us, though definitely not great.

By the way, ds is 12 now and Not lactose intolerant. The formula worked the best though.

I'm hoping you both feel better soon!

Original poster
MrsSeanBean1 · 14/04/2014 05:44

He is putting on weight but very slowly.

My DD is up now after being sick in her bed twice. I have resorted to Tree Fu Tom. It never rains but it pours.

OP posts:
LadyCybilCrawley · 14/04/2014 06:16

Hang in there love

giraffesCantBoogie · 14/04/2014 06:28

Baby chair/bouncer that props ds upright might buy you a wee bit of time with baby einstein (search youtube) on.....some babies are hypnotised by it! Especially if it is a vibrating chair.

giraffesCantBoogie · 14/04/2014 06:29

Also make sure ranitdine is right dose for weight - as they grow the dose needs to increase.

Also agree with others about trying omeprazole too.

Sillylass79 · 14/04/2014 06:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FourArms · 14/04/2014 07:50

DS2 was similar with the vomiting etc - he was like the Little Britain programme when he opened his mouth and a solid stream came out. He'd then scream with upset as he couldn't breath while vomiting. The meds made him vomit. :(

Sleeping in a carseat did wonders for him. I know there are reasons not to do it, but all of his paeds (he had other unrelated problems) fully endorsed anything that made him comfortable.

Best wishes

RedFocus · 14/04/2014 08:03

You poor things. I hope you have a lovely much needed rest op.

ithoughtofitfirst · 14/04/2014 08:51

My friend had all this with her little boy. He would only sleep for 40 minutes at a time and then screamed basically all the rest of the time. I seem to remember the prescription milk did help once he was used to it.

My son had really bad colic for the first 8 weeks I would have happily given him away to a good home.

You are a superhero.

thegreylady · 14/04/2014 08:58

Mrs SB from an adult pov I have severe reflux from a hiatus hernia. Ranitidine didn't touch it but Omeprazole was a miracle. There is a paediatric version I know.

halfwildlingwoman · 14/04/2014 09:08

DS cried all night in the maternity ward. The other mothers complained (bitches) If I could have got up and left I would. Fortunately for DS I was immobile due to EMCS.
OP, I'm in Shropshire -PM if you feel desperate again.

Athrawes · 14/04/2014 09:18

Dear OP. I did have someone take my baby away - your wee one sounds just like my son nearly 4 years ago and like you I got to that point. I called a good friend and said I couldn't do it anymore. MH services got involved and for a couple of months until he was onto solids he spent a day and a night at respite care.
The point is - you need a break.
If I had been in the UK where there are maternity nurse agencies and nanny agencies I'd say call one of them and pay for a 24hr respite to start with. Go and sleep in a motel.

It does get better but right now you need a rest. I understand reluctance to call SS (I was lucky - small town, whilst I have no family strangers rallied round) so suggest you pay for private respite if you can. Getting one night sleep a week makes the rest easier and gives you something to look forward to.

By 6 months things will be ok. Hey - I took mine on a 4 hr flight overseas at just four months - 2 months earlier I'd dearly have thrown him out of the window.

Marylou62 · 14/04/2014 09:56

Sweetie, if I lived near you I would come and help! Can you ring your local college and see if they have a student who would come and rock or a walk if they were mature enough? I had a DD who cried like this and a MIL who was terminal so trying to support DH and an active little *** of 3 so been there. Sending hugs.

MiaowTheCat · 14/04/2014 10:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovemonstersInc · 14/04/2014 10:10

Op how is he doing?

My now 3 year old (4in September) did that for 18months! He had/has extreme reflux, food aversions and is fed via a tube in his stomach.

Sounds like he Could do with some omeperzole and domperidone.
I would take him back to a+e if hes not settling.

Apologies if the thread has moved on Ive just read the op.

ilovemonstersInc · 14/04/2014 10:15

Ps
keep him upright.
If he sleeps in the pram you sleep too for a bit.
I used to take ds out for a walk and he would settle for a bit and I would leave him strapped in next to the sofa and lie down for a bit.
sack the housework.

Ds has a lot of other problems hes had meningitis, ent problems and other gut problems. That doesnt mean your ds will be as bad. I know someone whos ds had reflux and by time they were on the right meds at a few months old he settled into a nice routine x x

drnoitall · 14/04/2014 10:16

Firstly congratulations on your baby.
I'm sorry you feel the way you describe. I can empathise with you. Although the reflux thing wasn't confirmed I'm pretty sure that is what was causing the pain and constant crying and screaming. My 13 month old did that for a while. It drove me to tears several times.
It will pass, in the mean time, try to rest as much as you can. I used to try and enjoy the moments, and believe me, they were moments, when my baby was smiling, or sleeping peacefully.
I ebf and wasn't advised to change diet either, sorry not much help just wanted to offer suuport.

Elllimam · 14/04/2014 10:16

Total sympathy, my little guy had reflux too and screamed constantly. If its any comfort he settled down a lot after about 8 weeks. It gets better xxxx