We have been together just over a year. He has two kids and I have one. We've met eachothers kids several times and everyone has got on well.
At the weekend my son and I went to stay at his place while his kids were there too. Me and my son shared a room (which me and boyfriend both decided would be best as we wanted to take it slowly with regard to the kids seeing us together physically.)
I am really conscious of how his kids might feel about me, and their situation and have thought very carefully about how to handle them. My conclusion was in the same way I would a friends' children, just make an effort but not OTT. So far that approach has worked well.
This wkend was the most time we have ever spent together and the first time they have seen anything physical between me and their dad. This evoked some unpleasant behaviour in his 6yo dd. (the other two were fine as normal but are younger.)
Over the weekend she was rude to me on a couple of occasions. He pulled her up on it once and made her apologise which she did. Then on the second occasion her dad and I were giving each other flirty playful shove and joking and laughing and she screamed "get off each other" and pulled my arm, hit me on the side and ran off. He said "don't worry we were only playing" and she said "not you, HER" and pointed at me. Now in that situation I think a child should be made to apologise but he just left it. I didn't feel I could say anything myself (although maybe I should have) so I said to him (on the quiet) "do you know she just hit me?" And he took her to one side and I heard him tell her she had to apologise but she didn't and it wasn't followed through. We then left where we had been (it was home time anyway) and went home separately (as was the plan.) she refused to look at me or say goodbye.
Now - I keep telling myself this is a 6 yo child with lots of confusing emotions and that I am the grown up... But I feel really upset about it.
I spoke to boyfriend this morning who said that he didn't make her apologise because he could see she was in pain because her parents have split up. He said she talked to him last night and said she felt really sad and angry that her parents have split up. I feel TERRIBLE about ths. Have been in absolute bits about it and very upset on the phone to my boyfriend about it this morning as I hate that I am the reason a child is so upset. Rationally I know if it wasn't me it would be someone else but I just feel awful. I was in floods of tears this morning and texts between us a couple of times today where I've said I feel really guilty.
Anyway - tonight I haven't heard a peep from him. I feel REALLY angry and upset that he hasn't bothered to get in touch when he knows how upset the whole incident has made me.
A long waffle but basically aibu to expect him to get in touch? I always seem to make the first move back to him so want him to reach out this time......