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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist visiting children eat their sausages?

191 replies

gruffalosmile · 21/02/2014 17:40

Have two of DD's friends over this afternoon, their Mum is working tonight so I have done them tea, they asked for sausages chips and beans which I provided (early tea as they are being picked up soon). One got down from the table without asking, the other is still there but neither ate their (good quality) sausages. They cost me 3 quid, I am a bit cross. I have asked them to come back to the table and eat their sausages (I won't insist they eat all of them, I just want a token effort). They looked at me like I was some sort of harridan. AIBU??

OP posts:
poopadoop · 21/02/2014 17:41

YABU

DamnBamboo · 21/02/2014 17:42

Yes YABU!
What the hell is wrong with you?
Why if somebody doesn't want to eat something would you try to force them.
I wouldn't give them anything else mind, but telling them they have to eat them!

macdoodle · 21/02/2014 17:43

Yes and weird. How old are they?

Original poster
gruffalosmile · 21/02/2014 17:43

Am I really?? They did ask for sausages! And I did ask them nicely if they could eat a bit more. Ice cream will follow!

OP posts:
Onesleeptillwembley · 21/02/2014 17:43

I certainly wouldn't want then to leave the table without em either waiting for everyone to finish or asking first. Basic manners.

DamnBamboo · 21/02/2014 17:43

Anyway why do you give a shit if they give a 'token effort' when it really isn't that it's just some nasty lady trying to make them eat something they don't want.

Do you do this at parties too?

Original poster
gruffalosmile · 21/02/2014 17:44

They are 10 and 8

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 21/02/2014 17:44

YABU ,

DarlingGrace · 21/02/2014 17:44

Your house, your rules.

People sit at the table in this house until the last person has finished eating. There is no uppy-down-I've-finished-wandering-off.

However I assume they have eaten whatever else you provided? Mash and one if not two types of veg? are they able to cut the sausages?

FWIW I have actually had 16yo's round for tea who cannot use a knife Shock and need meat cut up for them

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 21/02/2014 17:45

yeah, you should never force kids to finish what's on their plate, if they've had enough, they've had enough. I sometimes get annoyed when my kids ask for something and leave it but it's up to them.

Original poster
gruffalosmile · 21/02/2014 17:45

Oh dear seems I am.

OP posts:
Whatisaweekend · 21/02/2014 17:45

As you are asking for just a token effort, I think that is entirely reasonable. I can't stand it when children declare (as mine do all the time) 'I don't liiiike it' when they haven't even tried it. Gah!

Given that they also wandered off without a by your leave, I am guessing the mum isn't all that hot on manners either.

georgedawes · 21/02/2014 17:46

You can't make people eat if they don't want to, but definitely sit at the table til everyone is finished.

joanofarchitrave · 21/02/2014 17:46

Your house your rules - or alternatively, not your children so relax and enjoy judging their parents' table manners teaching.

Put the sausages in the fridge and make them into a stew tomorrow?

rockybalboa · 21/02/2014 17:46

YABU. The sausages will have cost you the same amount whether they ended up in tummies or in the bin. What is it with all the po-faced posts on here today?!

Chippednailvarnish · 21/02/2014 17:46

£3! If money is that tight maybe quite understandably you should have offered jacket potatoes, cheese and beans. Otherwise you are being very mean.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 21/02/2014 17:46

Ive never understood the link with someone not eating something as wasting money. If they had eaten it you wouldn't be able to claim the cash back from Tesco, and if they don't and you don't give them anything else then you haven't lost anything anyway.

I know I am missing point, just musing :)

caninamechange · 21/02/2014 17:47

Yup yabu. Sausages vary a lot and good quality ones are often quite peppery or herby? They may be used to bland supermarket sausages.

wonderingsoul · 21/02/2014 17:47

i dont think yabu to ask them nicely to eat a bit more, i would my kids and my friends kids get treated like i do my own when they are round.

i wouldnt force them to sit there and watch the others eat if they really didnt want to eat it. and if they refused to try to eat some more.. ids say thats ok, but there wont be any dessert, you can go play or something along thouse lines.

Lottiedoubtie · 21/02/2014 17:47

You have a point about randomly leaving the table I wouldn't have allowed that. But YABU to try and make them eat the sausages.

There's a good chance that they just don't like them. If you are a child you probably thought you would like them, because you like the ones your mum buys, different sausages taste different and they discovered too late that they didn't like them.

I wouldn't take it as a slur on your cooking OP

TinyTwoTears · 21/02/2014 17:47

I'd be pissed off if they asked for sausages and didn't eat even a bit of them.

Definitely have to wait till everyone has finished and I would be asking what the problem was with the sausages.

Yanbu.

And tea is a different senario compared with a party. Hmm

hoppingmad · 21/02/2014 17:48

Lone voice here but I don't think yabu. If they've asked for sausages they should at least eat some of them and definitely need to ask before they leave the table.
I might be old school but, within reason, children need to eat what they're given

caninamechange · 21/02/2014 17:48

I let my active 7yr old get down from the table when finished too. So shoot me.

Hulababy · 21/02/2014 17:48

My resonse would depend on how well we knew the child/parents tbh.

Close family friends - I'd be more insistant that they tried some of their meal and that they remembered that we all stay at the table to everyone has finished - but that is because I know that is the expected for all of thm, and that we know what they will/won't eat. I'd never expect anyne to finish a whole meal or make them eat if they really didn't want to. But if they have asked for it, and i know they do like it, and we know them well - yes, I would expect them to eat some - and to wait at the table,

Ones I don't know so well - would ask if they were sure they wouldn't or couldn't eat it, but would still expect them to stay at the table until all those eating were done. It's basic manners. I wouldn't cook anything else though- not if it is something they have requested. I'd just let their parents know at pik up that they hadn't eaten.

aderynlas · 21/02/2014 17:48

Old enough to eat what they asked for op. I d not insist though. Next time they visit save the posh sausage and give them beans on toast.